I don’t know

[Alexmorand93]

I don’t really know how I got here. I can’t even remember how I found this site to be honest. I’m a bit manic at the moment. I’ve stopped taking my medication because it’s not helping me. So I’ve arranged a doctors appointment because I do genuinely want to get better and be happy . Just right now I find myself as an angry, sour, constantly looking for an argument entity. I live with my boyfriend of two years and he has two daughters that have no discipline or respect so they don’t listen to me in my own home, so I’m overly stressed out because as someone who doesn’t have kids I’m craving that attention in a relationship but I can’t have it because of his daughters and his ex wife’s expectations of him. I feel so selfish and horrible. I hate myself for being annoyed because I understand his kids come first but damn. First relationships are hard. I hate myself more and more. Mentally, physically. I’m embarrassing even to myself. I don’t have anyone to talk to. My older sister has been supportive and made effort to be there for me. My parents, I don’t even know, but there inability to be there for me or support me, angers me. It’s not all shit though, so I’m not completely blinded by all things shit in my brain. I start my first full time job on a couple of weeks. I live in an apartment. My cars broken, so my goals for this year are to save, get a new car, and get mentally better. Just right now at this moment, I just feel so overwhelmed by everything that is negatively affecting my judgment. I don’t know who I am and I don’t know what I’m doing.

[Depleted]

Hello, hope you get well soon. Time heals all. 🙂

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Alexmorand93,

I’m glad Depleted has kindly replied. You sound like you have a lot going on. I suppose it doesn’t really matter how you found the site, but you’re here now and I’m glad you’re reaching out 🙂

I admire your determination to try to feel better and feel happier. I hope your appointment with the doctor goes well.

I feel so many mixed emotions in your post. It sounds like things are tough at home with your partner’s daughters...

I feel as much as a person can intellectually reason that it’s understandable if a parent puts his/her own children first. Emotionally, it doesn’t make it hurt any less to feel like “number 2” (so to speak), despite understanding this. I think it’s quite natural and understandable to crave reassurance from our loved ones...

I wonder if you’ve considered sitting down with him and having a chat about how you’re feeling, and if a compromise can be reached about his daughters’ behaviour e.g. maybe he can talk to them. As important as his daughters are to him, I feel you are also important and it is your home.

I’m glad some things are going well though. Congratulations on getting your first full-time job! That’s a huge achievement.

Your older sister also sounds absolutely wonderful. I’m so glad she’s in your corner.

There’s no rush or pressure, but you’re always welcome here to unload emotions, vent, etc if you feel it helps. It would be lovely to hear from you again, but as I said, no pressure of course...

kind thoughts to you today,

Pepper

[baet123]

Hey Alexmorand93,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for posting and it is great to have you here!

I can tell that you are extremely intelligent, brave, strong, resilient and you have the desire to get better and these are all amazing qualities which you possess and you should be extremely proud of this!

What your feeling and experiencing is extremely normal so try and not be too hard on yourself! You mention the medication your taking isn't helping you at present and so you have ceased taking it. Have you tried other medication? Medication effects everyone differently and there are plenty of other medications out there that you may wish consider giving it a try. I would definitely discuss this issue further when you see your doctor at your next appointment.

Have you tried seeing a psychologist or engaged in therapy discussions? I believe that medication in combination with therapy for a sustained prolonged period of time is the way to go in most cases.

Sorry to hear that your partner's children don't treat you with the respect you deserve. However, you must also understand that your partner's children will take some time to gravitate towards you as they would feel very strongly about their mother and could possibly have some resentment towards you as they may see you as an "intruder" or as a barrier/reason as to why their father and mother may never get back together. I am not sure how long it will take them to come around, but eventually they will.

Your not being selfish at all. Your concerns are genuine and you deserve to be treated well by your partner's kids. If you feel like ever needing to talk to someone, we are always here and there are other amazing services such as Lifeline (13 11 14) who would love to hear from you and they would be able to provide you with information relating to your concerns.

It is encouraging that you have your sister to support you. I think many of us feel that way about our parents and it is hard for many to tell our parents about our concerns/struggles. It is really positive that you are so aware of your thoughts and feelings. This is an important aspect of the treatment/recovery process.

Congratulations on your first full time job. May I ask what field you work in? It is awesome that you have set yourself small, realistic and achievable goals and I hope 2019 is a great year for you!

Look forward to hearing back from you.

All the best,

Nick.

[Wizard1]

Hi Alexmorand93,

Sorry to hear you going through a tough time at the moment. It can though sharing your home with others particularly when they don't respect it as much as you.

I'm glad you reached out to us. Having such anger can be damaging if kept to yourself. So it is go to hear you have your sister to confide with as well. If you need to vent more please do so here. We can take it! 😃

One suggestion I can think of is forming a strong relationship with his daughters will improve their respect for you and improve your relationship with your boyfriend too. This will be long and challenging but fruitful if dedicated. I have come from divorced family myself and I didn't make it easy for my step mum for the same reasons baet123 mentioned but I now think the world of her. Keep at it and they will eventually come through for you.

All the best to you,
Wizard