How to support my 19 year old with anxiety

[Guest_25117147]

Looking for advice on how to help my 19 year old with her anxiety? She is currently on medication and we have a referral to the access mental health team. She smokes cannabis daily and refuses to do any grounding/ coping techniques as she believes nothing helps. She is willing to stop smoking cannabis but wants to be admitted to a rehab facility, how we have been told this is unlikely as a public patient.  We have family support however she does not engage with other family members. When she is anxious she will only contact me and it feels like I am her verbal punching bag. She is overwhelmed with life and I don’t know how to support her without enabling her . Looking for practical advice.

[smallwolf]

Hello and welcome to the forums.

It sounds incredibly tough what you and your daughter are going through, and you’re doing the best you can in a really heavy situation. Your reaching out for advice shows how much you care. It’s hard when your daughter is overwhelmed and you’re the only person she turns to.

It’s good that you’ve got a referral in place... that’s a goods start. And for you... it’s okay to set gentle boundaries so you’re not worn down; supporting her doesn’t mean absorbing everything. After all, it would be difficult to support anyone when running on empty.

You’re not failing her! You deserve support too.

Now outside of having a chat with your GP about this situation, perhaps having a chat with the National Alcohol and Other Drug Hotline might be able to point you in the right direction. Their number is 1800 250 015. They say that "hotline provides free and confidential information and support for people who have concerns about their own, or someone else's alcohol and/or other drug use. You can call the hotline 24 hours a day, 7 days a week".

Hope some of this is helpful.

[sbella02]

Hey there, thank you so much for posting here, welcome to the forums. Goodness, what a tough situation to be in. I can see that you'd like to help your daughter, but are also not wanting to become a target for verbal abuse. 

Have the access mental health team helped at all? What have their recommendations been with regards to rehab?

If you're looking for resources or program recommendations, both for people who are affected and seeking rehab as well as their families/loved ones, you can have a look into the government-led Drug and Alcohol webpages for your state/city.

I assume that you've tried talking to her about her anxiety or her smoking. What does she say? Is she open with you about her mental health, or fairly closed off? 

I think one of the best things that you can do as a parent is just be there as a safe person. Even if she doesn't always feel like confiding in you or opening up to you, letting her know that you're there for her can be really impactful. It is important to reassure her that you will approach conversations with her with understanding and a lack of judgement.

I really hope this helps, feel free to keep chatting with us if you'd like, we're here to support you.

Take care, SB