How do you know ?

[Anon95]

Hi i am new to this and not sure where to post this under or if i should at all ? Maybe a stupid question.
I am a mum of 4 with another on the way at 24 years old i have not been feeling myself lately , my question is how do you know if you have anxiety or depression or if your just having a bad day or something. I don't have any help or anyone to talk. has anyone else felt ashamed or scared to talk to a doctor thinking their kids are going to get taken if you do have mental health issues?

[blondguy]

Hi Anon95

Welcome to the forums and good on you for having the courage to post too!

Many people feel embarrassed and scared about seeing their GP just like you. I also felt the same way when I was in my mid 20's with my anxiety attacks. Depression has various symptoms like lack of appetite...poor quality of sleep......lack of interest in activities that you used to enjoy....feeling run down...poor concentration

The symptoms are usually frequent and sometimes daily. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose by making a double appointment with your GP and having a chat. The GP's have a very good focus about depression/anxiety compared to when I sought help in the mid 1980's

I have included the copy & paste link below for the K10 test which will provide you with a better idea about your current feelings where depression/anxiety are concerned

www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/anxiety-and-depression-checklist-k10

Your children are fine when it comes to seeing a GP for help for a mental health problem. The GP does have a duty of disclosure only when it comes to child neglect/abuse. I do hope you can see your GP....You will feel a lot better after you do...(I still see my GP every 4 weeks with my depression..even in recovery)

I am sorry that you have no help or assistance in your situation. There caring qualified counselors available on the Beyond Blue 24/7 support line on 1300 22 4636 too. Your call is private and your privacy is assured

There are also many gentle people (and mums!) on the forums that can be here for you too. The forums are a safe and non judgemental place for you to post Anon95 🙂

Your post is just fine! You have asked a smart and proactive question.....Its not stupid in any way

I hope that you can post back and let us know your thoughts Anon95......(if you wish to!)

my kind thoughts

Paul

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Anon95,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for being here and posting. I'm not a mum but hopefully I can fill the gap until other mums jump on board for some support. Hopefully I can give you support anyway.

I guess the difference between a 'bad day' or anxiety and depression is that the symptoms/signs of these conditions impact and affect your day to day life. You tend to have more bad days than good days and it can start to impact everyday functioning - like work, study, relationships or sleep.

If you click on this website and click on anxiety/depression you can learn more about it as well as some of the key signs that GP's/Professionals look for when making a diagnosis -

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts

With your question about having your kids taken away, know that you're not alone in feeling this way. Things that might raise red flags might be things like children being harmed (sexually, physically, emotionally) or neglected (food, water, shelter, care). If this was a concern, like for example - you had a lack of funds to give them lunch, or you were so distressed your kids seemed neglected - taking them away would always be a last resort anyway. There are so many different ways therapists can work with you - for you and for your kids.

I hope that this answers your question? Theres no questions that are off limits here. Feel free to post again if you like.

[Quercus]

A belated hello and welcome Anon95.

Congratulations on your newest pregnancy. How far along are you? I was wondering because the midwife or obstetrician will give you the K10 checklist throughout pregnancy. Have you had a result yet?

As a fellow Mum I wanted to reply to point out two very important things. Firstly...

1. You know yourself best

I found it hard to get the help needed because the doctors find potential reasons for you feeling unwell. The exhaustion of 4 kids is an easy excuse for them to use. Lack of support is another.

I mention this because it is right that you need support and time to self care but your own instincts are the most important. Don't let anyone fob you off if you feel like you need help.

Someone smart told me once we cannot care for others unless we care for ourselves too. Your health matters.

2. You won't lose your children by seeking help.

Such a common fear. I felt the same. But when I fell apart and in desperation sought help one of the first things I was told was by seeking help I am demonstrating that I am a responsible parent. I wanted to be alive for my kids and more so to enjoy being with them.

You mentioned you don't have any support and I relate to this. Hubby and I have had one night out together in 5 years. So when the psych said she wanted me in hospital overnight I panicked. The important part was she saw my distress and backed off. She asked me to start a safety plan instead. I believe if you show you have plans to keep safe and have thought about what you will do in emergencies people accept you are responsible.

If you needed help, who would you call? Think about people who would help you if you asked. Some times our pride gets in the way.

I hope this helps. Your post is not stupid ok. If you don't feel right trust your gut and go and see your doctor please.

Nat