Hi i'm new can you tell ??

[Permanentquandry]

Hey,

Giving this a go, as nothing has worked yet.

Everyone is unique or different as are their hopes, fears and ideals as well as their illness. An illness that is what i am told i have, i think of it as a different way at looking at things. My illness is ""depression"" which i have had for 9 years and in the last 3 i am listed as extreme yay me.

The options for treatment that i have been given don't appeal to me, drugs or having electric shock treatment. I worked as a sparky and have been zapped a few times so i am ticking that treatment as done. I don't like the ideas of drugs.... well there are many reasons which this is not the place to post from what i have read.

I have gotten to a point in the last 2 years where my attempts make sense, i have made a promise to change my view, but the more i try to change, the more i feel my judgement is right.

Sorry for the preachy crazy intro

[geoff]

hi Permanentquandry's, it can be very difficult to post a comment on the site, especially your first one, but to have depression for 9 years is certainly is something that needs immediate attention, and no I'm not suggesting you have ECT, that's a decision between you and your psych but it's not an easy one to make, but before you decide there are other options.
You are desperately trying to change your views, that's a great effort, but you know, you can't do any of this by yourself.
People do decide that they never want to take any medication, OK that's their choice, but you need something to give you a kick or a jolt and no I'm not talking about ECT, but something that will make your mind become clearer, because at the moment you can't see the 'forest for the trees'.
Encouragement may help you, but it all comes back to the same problem when you are alone, because it takes you back to square one time after time, so perhaps think about medication, and no don't turn away, because your doctor would put you on a very small dose, nothing that could create any significant problems and it would be easy to stop taking them.
You need to have something that will begin to open up your mind and release you from depression. Geoff.

[Permanentquandry]

Thanks Geoff,

Drugs have been kicking around in the background of options very low, very very low on the listand the ECT is never going to happen. I feel my choices and actions have got me to this point, so by the same token they should get me out, with a bit of help, as you said i can't see the forest for the trees and i may of put myself in a prideful position with the psych's and just not ready to eat humble pie yet

[geoff]

thanks Permanentquandry for your reply, and can I say with all honesty the more you lock out your therapist the worse you will feel in the long run, and with all sincerity, the longer this will stay around.
I'm pleased that you have chosen not to have ECT, although it may have worked for some people, that's what you don't know for yourself.
I had contemplated having it at one stage, and was very close as a desperate measure, but opted out at the last minute, and I'm pleased I did. Geoff.

[Croix]

Dear Permanentquandry~

I'd like to talk to you as well, but will do so in your new thread, which seems a more appropriate area

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/suicidal-thoughts-and-self-harm/permanent-quandry#qm0EBHHzvGGEbv8AAOnT_A

Thanks

Croix