Hey everyone... feeling of loneliness, regret and unaccomplished

[Yugi]

Hey everyone,

My name is Lochlan and I'm a 22 years old from Perth, Western Australia. I'm into fashion, music, investing, going out, netflix and gaming. I studied fashion design after finishing high-school, but dropped out and have been stuck working fulltime since. I have plans to study a degree at university this or the following year. I joined the forum today hoping to connect to similar people, hearing them out and possibly hoping to be heard.

My mental health has been an up and down problem. I'm currently okay apart from going through a rough break up which I caused and having deep feelings of regret, disappointment, depression and not understanding why I did it. I know I can't undo the past but I'm stuck on that thought, If I had just thought for 1 second or had done something else, the relationship with the girl I love would still be there. The only good thing is this was a massive wake up call and life lesson to be learnt. I realized what I was becoming and have began to change for the better. But I can't go back and undo this, and that's eating at me. I won't go into detail here, but I messaged another girl, realized what I was doing and informed my girlfriend straight away. People said not to tell her, but I'm built on honesty and I messed up and should not have done that. She still wants to be friends, but isn't ready for a relationship now.

Aside from that I have self diagnosed OCD, general anxiety and depression (doctor sent me to some teen forums and I never went back when I went in for anxiety and depression) and possibly a bit of a hypochondriac (start getting symptoms after researching a scary disease lol). But most of these are in control by myself.

My main issues currently are having no "friends", I love being a social person, however I don't really have any friends who are very social as well. My past girlfriends have all been social, seem to just be able to message "the girls" and have a plan for every weekend. Where I'm lucky to message a friend and get anything apart from "come over and chill" or a slow reply. I had very bad depression from 16 - 21 and didn't leave the house very often, missing out on a lot of those activities and friendship groups. Just finding it hard to connect to people I get along with, as gaming, fashion, etc don't really have many clubs or activities for people my age to go to.

Thanks for listening and sorry for being all about me! But this is my introduction I guess 🙂

[sbella02]

Hey Lochlan,

Thank you so much for your post, and welcome to our forums. It's great to hear that you're wanting to focus on self-improvement, and that you're planning on studying this year. That's amazing.

I'm turning 20 this year, so I can empathise with many of your struggles. With regard to mental health, I find that it's always helpful engaging in hobbies or self-care activities like yoga or exercise. You could even consider having a chat to a counsellor, therapist, or psychologist about your struggles, as you may find that they can offer you some professional advice. It can also be very relieving to talk to somebody external about how you're feeling.

I'm so sorry to hear about your breakup, that must be so tough. I may not have lived through a breakup, but I have been through rough patches in my own relationship that we've needed to overcome. Do you have any close family members or friends who you would feel comfortable confiding in and receiving social support from? I find that confiding in those close to me helps me process and manage some of those tougher emotions.

In terms of socialisation, particularly during the pandemic, it's so tough to make and maintain friendships when you're entering adulthood. I know that for gaming, you can always join relevant Discord servers and find likeminded online friends. I'm not quite well-versed in the fashion field, so I wouldn't know where to start in terms of finding friends through this route. Sporting clubs are also a great way to find friends, if there are any sports that you enjoy.

No need to apologise for talking about yourself, we're grateful that you've been so open with us. Please feel free to chat with us some more! We're here to support you.

SB