Hello from a health anxious newbie

[Smokysolo]

Hi forums. First time here for me. This week I have been struggling with health anxiety. I've had some really bad nights' sleep, digestion problems, random pains. It's so hard for me to believe the real symptoms I experience are put there by my brain. But I'm learning.

I was even in the ED on Friday. I had chest pains after the mRNA booster. I had blood tests and a chest x-ray (clear) and was eventually sent home, but with a warning that if I get shortness of breath and dizziness to go back. So I lay in best last night, examining every breath, feeling every twinge. It can be so hard in the wee hours to figure out what's real.

I've come to these forums in the hope that I can read about other people's similar experiences, and to learn how to deal with it better.

Thanks for reading. Take care.

[mmMekitty]

Hello Smokysolo,

Welcome to the forum. There is a lot of info about Anxiety, & I've seen other people talking about Health Anxiety in particular, so I am sure you'll soon have people posting here or you will find some of them.

I don't think I have any persistant problem with Health Anxiety myself. Occasionally, I do find myself focusing too much on a symptom, or some feeling which may be nothing indicating any illness at all, just a feeling. The more I do, the larger it seems to be in my mind, so I realise I need to distract myself from that feeling. If I am anxious about a feeling, the more I focus my attention on it, the more anxious I feel! I could keep ramping up the anxiety simply by continually monitoring the feeling.

If I can divert my attention, usually by doing something physical, that helps. It's mice if I enjoy what I am doing, but it doesn't even have to be enjoyable. I've gone out shopping, & while feeling uncomfortable doing that, I've not noticed the feeling that was bothering me earlier. I'm too busy noticing what's around me, other feelings in my body,, for which there is a cause, & now, with my helper, I'm trying to keep up my end of a conversation too.

I notice, when I'm alone again, winding down, but still feeling like I'm recovering from my outing, I will again notice more specifically, individual aches or pains, or other types od discomfort. I don't tend to attribute these to signs of illness or disease, though. They just make feeling calm & rested more difficult for me.

At night, when I am not active, wanting my body to be still & comfortable so I can sleep, I do tend to notice every little discomfort. I can't ignore most of them. But when I can ignore one or other, I have noticed it does stop being annoying all by itself.

I have an audiobook playing, & try to focus my attention on that. So, hopefully, environmental disturbances can be left in the background too, I hope.

These are other signs of anxiety, so I don't think are terribly different. I tend to feel in danger from other sources, I suppose.

*

Do you have anyone you talk to about your concerns? You said nothing about having ever spoken to a Counsellor or other Therapist, or GP. That's why I ask. You don't have to answer me. I wonder if ou've given it any thought to seeking professional help.

😸

mmMekitty

[yggdrasil]

Hi Smokysolo,

Thank you so much for posting on here. I'm really sorry to hear you've been experiencing some difficult symptoms and some strong health anxiety. Lots of people talk about health anxiety on here so you're definitely not alone.

When I was in my early 20s I became extremely anxious about how toxic substances in my environment (e.g. car fumes, paint/cleaning fumes etc) were affecting my mental and physical health. I got so obsessive about it, my fears started affecting my relationships with other people.

In hindsight I can see how extreme and over the top my fears were. I was going through a lot of other really intense personal challenges at the time, so I suspect my over anxiety about health was a weird reaction to my fears about these other aspects of my life, which made me feel my life was spiralling out of control. I think for me health fears are less about the actual symptoms, and more about the risk of becoming so ill I couldn't work, or be an independent person etc.

As I've gotten older I've found I'm not really afraid of anything to do with my health anymore. I don't think there are any easy answers with this stuff, but for me what has helped is learning to accept that much of what happens with our bodies and health is just out of our control, and its important to be OK with this. Our bodies are contantly decaying as we age, and there's not much we can do about it. We can make sensible choices to avoid making things worse (e.g. by eating well and exercising) but nothing can change the slow march of time, and it's effect on our bodies and health, and obsessing to the point of trying to stop illness and decay completely makes things much worse.

While I think "acceptance" is important, this isn't a call for "resignation". I have found making exercise and sports a core part of my life helps give me a sense of control back, which sort of balances the acceptance of the frailty of my body and life. I enjoy sports with a bit of danger in them like skateboarding, which I do every day now. I fall frequently and some part of my body is pretty much always bruised, strained or sore, but I just don't think about it and it doesn't bother me in my day to day.

I'm not sure what point I'm trying to make with the above exactly. I think you need a combination of "acceptance" of the inevitability of ill health, but at the same time a sort of "rebellious" desire to push your body to it's limits and become as fit as you can. Hope that made some minimal sense.

[Guest_1643]

Hi smokysolo,

I was often and still am often awake late at night with worries and obsessive thoughts. It's a lonely and scary time.

I hope u find this a helpful space, just wanted to validate u that I can really relate to Ur post,

Warm welcome

[Petal22]

Hi Smokysolo,

Wellcome to our forums!

Im sorry you are feeling this way I understand.

Health anxiety can be really hard to deal with… Ive also experienced this through out my life….. I had a pattern of obsessing over certain things to do with my body, I’d have it checked by a doctor to be told everything was fine but I’d still obsess over it………..

This pattern eventually became severe for me I was diagnosed with OCD obsessive compulsive disorder…… it’s a anxiety disorder.

I seeked professional help for the way I was feeling from a gp through to a psychiatrist and I did a group therapy.

This was a long journey for me but I am so grateful to be able to say I have recovered thanks to the health professionals that helped me along the way.

Have you seeked professional help for your anxiety?

You really can learn to manage it.

[Smokysolo]

Thanks for the replies, all.

I haven't ever sought professional help. I'd like to, but I'm also embarrassed. My husband does listen and support me, and in many ways is a huge help at keeping me grounded. But sometimes he doesn't understand that "I'm sure you'll be fine" doesn't cut it!

When I was quite young I am pretty sure I ventured into OCD territory. I was so scared of dying in my sleep, but if things like my curtains were pulled to exactly the right position, and the last thing I said out loud was "see you tomorrow", I somehow thought that would keep me safe.

Right now I'm still struggling with the little twinges, but I did sleep through last night. Now time to try to concentrate on work.

Cheers.

[missep123]

Hi Smokysolo,

There is definitely nothing to be embarrassed about! I hope that you can see from the responses on this thread that you are definitely not alone! I have also had health anxiety, I completely relate to the over-magnification on certain symptoms and the rumination about them. I used to find that I would 'spiral' into obsessive thoughts about these things so it was very important for me to recognise when I was starting to spiral and stopping it before I go down that path. Distraction personally helped me but I know that for a lot of people seeing a professional really helped. Professionals can help to teach coping mechanisms to help 're-wire' the brain or at least help us cope with these distressing thoughts. It can be so exhausting!

We are here for you Smokysolo!

[Petal22]

Hi Smokysolo,

Please please step forward and ask for professional help……… I say this because I know that it can change your life!

Seeing health professionals changed my life in an enormous positive way…. I really don’t know where I would be today without their help.

A health professional can give you many strategies for anxiety and they really can teach you to challenge your thinking so you can learn to think about things in a different positive way.

Before professional help my anxiety would take me down a very distressing path……

After professional help ive learned to stop the thought at the thought and it goes no further..

Please really consider seeing your gp so you can do a mental health plan together ( book a double appointment) this will allow you to see a psychologist.

Always here to chat 😊

[Smokysolo]

I will do that. Thank you so much for the encouragement. 🙂

Right now I am stressing out because the doctor from last week (not my regular) has requested a follow up appointment. So now my brain is back in overdrive until 4:30!

Will talk to my usual GP soon though. Thanks again.

[Petal22]

That’s ok 😊

When your brain starts to give you anxious thoughts just practice putting your attention on something in the present moment like how does the sun feel on your body? What can you hear?

Take long slow deep breaths…. Breathe out slowly…. Put your attention on your breath and follow it when your mind wonders off to thinking again bring your attention back to your breath….. it takes practice…….

Have you ever tried meditation?

All the best with your appointment feel free to come back to us anytime.