Hello

[zee79]

im not really sure what so say or how to express what im feeling. its as though every time i decide to write it out or say it out i start to convince myself that im okay and dont need help which just leaves me with pushing away my thoughts and emotions and nothing changes. i noticed that my parents were really upset when they saw me today, which why i feel the need to reach out to someone. i have been the most unpleasant person to be around recently, i have been snappy and bland and well, just sad i guess. i have been isolating myself from everything, avoiding everyone, neglecting my studying and everything productive. staying in my own familiar space away from everyone and everything is sort of a away to supress the sadness, being in the presence of others just makes me realize that i'm not myself. im not sure what else to add or even if what i have said means anything but i shall just leave it at this i guess.

[Sophie_M]

Hey zee79, thanks for joining us here on the forums. We are grateful that you have reached out here today as we know it can be tough to do this for the first time. We are so sorry to hear you've been feeling this way and understand it must be overwhelming, especially if you are struggling to open up to others around you. Please know that you do not have to do this alone. Many in our community have had similar feelings and understand. Hopefully, a few of them will pop by and offer you some words of kindness and advice. 

Please know that there is help available to you. The Beyond Blue Support Service on 1300 22 4636 or our friends at Lifeline on 13 11 14 are available to provide support and advice 24/7. Please do feel free to use these services to talk through what's on your mind when it's feeling like too much to cope with.

Feel free to keep us updated here on your thread with what you are feeling and experiencing whenever you feel up to it - we hope that you find this to be a safe and non-judgemental space.
 

[geoff]

Hello Zee, and welcome.

I'm not qualified to say but have been in a similar position.

What you have said makes sense and perhaps being in denial often means a refusal to believe or accept something as the truth and ' by pushing away your thoughts and emotions' and secluding yourself away may only temporarily help, eventually, it may all build up where you need to talk with someone.

We understand your situation and do feel sorry for what is going on, and certainly appreciate where you stand, but please let us try and help you through this journey because we know that it's so hard to tackle this on your own.

Please reach out to those who can understand and may have experienced the same circumstances.

Take care.

Geoff.

[White_Rose]

Dear Zee79

Hello and welcome to the forum. This is a good place to write about your feelings and thoughts. You have expressed yourself very well and we have all understood where you are coming from. You seem to be in an unhappy place and many people here can relate to that. You sound depressed, which is more than simply feeling sad. May I suggest you have a look at the fact sheets provided by beyondblue? Go to The Facts tab at the top of the page and follow the links from there. You can download the fact sheets but need to send for the booklets. No charge.

Pushing away our thoughts can give a momentary respite but they always come back. Sadly these thoughts become more persistent and distressing which is why I suggest you take action to manage them in a constructive way. I see you found it difficult to write down your thoughts. However, can you keep a journal and write whatever comes to mind. Doesn't matter if you think there's not much wrong as the journal is only for you. Just write for a while without re-reading what you have already written at least for several months. It will help you describe better how you feel.

I also suggest you see your GP. You have not said how old you are. No need to give your age, just wondering if you are still at school or working. You can see your GP on your own if you wish. If you do not have your own Medicare card you can get one if you are aged 14 or over. Just go to Medicare.

Being cranky is a common effect of depression. I know as I have been there. I thought I was such a nasty person and probably was in some respects. Just not as bad I thought. Please accept these are normal feelings and ideas when you are depressed. Not to say you cannot change. Now you are aware of how you react you have a better chance of controlling your comments.

Talk to your GP about these feelings. If you are like the majority of people you will find it a little hard and will forget much of what you intended to say. Can you write a dot point list of your feelings and/or copy and print your post above. Give this to your GP who will take it from there. I think you would be surprised at how many people feel as you do and go for a chat with their GP.

Please keep talking to us. We are always here though not necessarily immediately.

Mary

[josh1245]

hey zee79 I would like to say I have been in very similar position In my life. A couple of years ago I started to experience feelings that never experienced before such as anxious thoughts/feelings, extreme sadness and I had know idea what these feelings were and I thought I was weird and strange. I learned though my experience and after seeking professional help I learned its not lots of people go through these feeling's. I recommend going to your gp and getting referred to a qualified professional.