Hello

[Kat74]

How strange is it to feel some relief by simply posting one word - hello. Lonliness is overwhelming me in a seemingly busy life, lonliness and a debilitating sense of never being good enough. My only true friend is my husband and then sometimes I wonder if he is a friend or if he is just “stuck” like me. I’m rambling already. I need help, I don’t want to take medication, I have tried counselling, I don’t have any friends that I can talk to about how I truly feel- not even my husband. I seem to lurch from one crisis to another (well in my head I do) and the anxiety is starting to become crippling. I need someone to talk to and hope that by reaching out here and seeing stories of hope I can find that support through this online community. Thanks xx

[Jessplease]

Hello Kat

I just want to let you know you are not the only person feeling like this, I to feel the loneliness.

I too have recently turned to this page in crisis and have had some wonderful advice and encouragement from other members. There is so many people on these forums that are more then happy to listen to you and offer support.

just remember there are so many people here for you, you are not alone

[Serotonin]

Hi kat 74!

I am new to the forum too, and I find it so strange that we have such similar feelings (this is literally the second post I opened). I am also being eaten alive by endless loneliness, I’ve got no close friend or family in this country other than my boyfriend who I’m on the verge to break up with (so I can’t talk to him).

anyways, what’s your story? How was your day ?

[Kat74]

Hi Jessplease and Serotonin

Thank you for the welcome xx

my day has not been great. I had big plans to join a new local gym and went down to the open day. I couldn’t go by myself, so dragged my 18 and 16 yo daughters with me (I don’t think they know I wouldn’t have set foot near the place if I was on my own) - I only lasted there for 10 minutes, was overwhelmed with people and the price was way over my budget, so i left without signing up. This might seem like I big deal, but I was barely holding back tears when we were leaving. My oldest daughter noticed but tried to distract me. So that’s how it started and I have hated myself since. Why did i even try...

[quirkywords]

Kat74 Hello.

weclome to the forum. Also welcome to Seorotonin and Jessplease,

This is a caring supportive, friendly and nonjudgemmetal community.

I am sorry Kat you had a bad day. I find gyms very overwhelming and all the people an d hype can be too much. Getting teary is ok . I am sorry you hate yourself but it was probably not th right gym for you. There are gyms where you will feel comfortable.

How did you find counselling? Sometimes it takes a while for you to see th benefit.

Do you find you feel worse at a certain time of the month?

I am wondering if there is a hormonal aspect to how you feel? Have you chatted to your GP?

I am glad you have posted and you have already reached out to others who no longer feel they are alone.

Kind thoughts

Quirky

[Kat74]

Hi quirky, thank you for your kind words. I have felt myself heading “downhill” emotionally for the last couple of months. My anxiety became a real issue about 18 months ago after a traumatic event, and I have worked very hard to keep myself going out in public and trying to maintain a fairly high functional life. I am 43, a mother of three, married and working full time in a senior managerial government role. Weekends are lonely. I have no friends outside of work, and my husband is a shift worker so for 10 out of every 15 days I barely see him. Today was hard as I had researched this gym and thought it would be ok, but I got overwhelmed and wimped out again. I have had counselling over the past 18 months and as I live in a regional area, it is hard to access face to face devices without a long wait and over the phone is hard. My GP has a four week wait to get in to see her and that will be my last resort as I don’t want to go on medication again. I keep telling myself to be grateful for what I have and for what I have achieved, but I don’t feel happy or content, I feel empty and hollow. I have some phone numbers to access my EAP to at least get some over the phone help while I try and get myself back on track. I am exploring the forums and realising that I’m not alone and can get support on here is comforting. Thank you

[Jessplease]

Hi Kat , hang in there you are doing great 🙂

I understand how you are feeling and trying to keep yourself together whilst out in public can sometimes be a struggle. I to have felt myself to struggle more in the recent months, I'm just not as strong as I used to me anymore.

Advice I have been given from other members of the forums : have you looked into activities you can try outside of work, start of with some light easy activities that aren't to over whelming. I have never been comfortable in any gyms I have been a member of , I don't feel I fit in and it doesn't feel as welcoming as you anticipate it to be.

utilise your EAP system if it is available , just talking to someone surprisingly helps, it helps to get some things off your chest.

Keep posting, there are so many kind souls hear to listen and talk to

jessplease

[rdfreak]

Hi there Cat, welcome; I just joined today myself.

Why do you feel you can't talk to your husband or friends? I just ask to give us some context. Do you not feel comfortable enough?

Thanks and hope things look up for you.