Hello to all

[JustThinking]

Hi All,

I am 57, a mother, wife, worker, daughter, etc, etc. I am the one everyone relies on. I am great at caring for others but not so good at caring for myself. I started taking medication for depression last year, after my husband's prolonged illness- I usually cope with stress but this tipped me over and I had to admit that I needed help. The medication has really helped and I am considering increasing the dose a little, as I can feel the depression influencing my thoughts and actions again.

Everyone is different, heh.

Jen

[Dogdude]

Hi Jan,

Sorry to hear about your husband's illness and the eventual effect it had on you. Glad to hear you identified what was happening and took those daunting steps to get help.

Its slso good to hear that medication is helping you, just make sure you work with your doc if you are going to make any changes.

Unfortunately I'm not as fortunate when it comes to medication and have days like today where life seems pointless.

Stay strong Jan, some of us need to make it through.

Take care

Rob

[geoff]

Hi Jen and a warm welcome to the forums.

You seem to be very busy but a wonderful person, however, I'm sorry that you are not feeling well, but eventually, when you look after everyone else and forget about yourself, that's when the going gets tough and your guard breaks down.

Once this happens it's time to stop and consider how you need to take care, the problem is you struggle with being able to do this and need help starting with your GP.

Your depression has started by your husband's illness as you say, but you have to remember taking care of yourself doesn't mean you don't care about others.

It maybe difficult for others to understand what is going on but now is the time to seek the help you need, that's important so please don't pretend that everything is OK, this will only prolong your struggle.

Is there anybody who can help with your husband at the moment while you get the help that's needed.

Hope you can get back to us.

Geoff.

[AndyR]

Hi Jen

It's good that you're aware of the need for support and that the meds help. I'm with Geoff on making sure you work with your GP on changes and not do this without consultation.
Your line I am the one everyone relies on. I am great at caring for others but not so good at caring for myself struck me for it is such a common theme. In times like these, when you need support, are you able to seek it from those who you provide care for. Self care is really important but there are many times that may need supplementing with care by others. Caring for others can be a two way street and you needn't do this on your own so reaching out and saying 'it's my time to be supported' may help build you a safety net that prevents a sliding into further depression.
Given you've been caring for your husband through a long illness I'm wondering who cared for the carer? There are carer support organisations that can help with that.
Putting yourself first might not be easy or come naturally but it's worth doing for your long term well being.
kind regards
Andrew