Hello new friends, I'm just gonna start here.

[Wandercharm]

I have visited Beyond Blue now and then over some years, and am determined now to get involved. It's intimidating for me and I'm "feeling my way through the darkness, guided by a beating heart...." Oops, slipped into song lyrics already. Anyway, "I don't know where the journey will end, but I know where to start." This post is it. 😛

I was first diagnosed with Depression in 1997, and it is something that has effected my whole life. I've been diagnosed with epilepsy (as a child), Post-Natal Depression at times, Major Depressive Disorder, Generalised Anxiety Disorder, and Dysthymic Disorder. My father suffered from and died from Depression, and my mother returned to school when I was a teenager and is now a Clinical Psychologist who has practiced for about fifteen years. I've often believed that I have developed skills in dealing with my mental health disorder, and am reaching out now to become involved in discussion and with a community to help me remember this. I hope I can connect with some of you, and feel helpful while continuing the my quest to reorganize my inner world and tame the dialog of self-doubt and fear that the black dog has again permeated my mind with.

This is a quote that helps me at the moment as I can believe it and feel it...

“You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars” ― Max Ehrmann, Desiderata: A Poem for a Way of Life

Also, as a inveterate caregiver I believe:

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." — Lao Tzu

and I could sure use both of those things right about now.

What about you all?

[Guest_322]

Hi Wandercharm,

Firstly, a very warm welcome 😊 Good on you for taking the plunge and getting more involved. Cue applause!

You've certainly had a number of brushes with mental health issues (as have your parents). I'm very sorry about your father.

I think there is no greater teacher than personal experience- and you have bucket loads. I'm sure we will all benefit from what you have learnt, and that we'll develop mutually supportive friendships with you here.

I like those quotes. Thanks for sharing 😊

My story is nothing too out of the ordinary. I'm currently at uni, history of depression and anxiety and was abused as a child by a relative. I've been suicidal before but I'm clearly alive today (& intend to stay alive for a very long time).

My friends mean the world to me and are my second family 😊

Hope to see you around the forums!

Dottie

[Cornstarch]

Your Dad 'died of depression'? Do you mean as in the same way my Dad did by taking his own life in July 2010? If so, I am so sorry.

Inveterate caregiver it sucks being big hearted some days. Boundaries and giving too much of ourselves are a constant theme. We are flooded. We feel pushed and pulled and yet we can't stop giving.

It is so hard to become more closed hearted, maybe even impossible.

But those skills you learnt all those years ago are still in there, unfortunately loneliness is supplanting them right now. And you're probably a bit scared too.

Write back as much or as little as you want. There is no pressure to be anything other than what you are.

I hope you can remove some pressure on the outside and return it to yourself.

[Wandercharm]

Hi Dottie,

*Bows-with-extraordinary-awkwardness* 🙂

Thankyou for your welcome.

I'm so pleased you aren't dead.

Wandercharm.

[Wandercharm]

Yes Cornstarch,

my Dad committed suicide in October of 2013.

I'm becoming better with the boundaries, and balancing relationships so that the giving isn't one-sided. It means that I am grateful when I find someone who can balance with me just in little ways. Thankyou for your message of "Write back as much or as little as you want. There is no pressure to be anything other than what you are." I will probably want to reread this as a soothing reminder now that I am 'out' here on the forums.

Wandercharm.

[Guest_322]

Hi Wandercharm,

Ha, ha I appreciate your sense of humour. It gave me a chuckle.

Dottie x

[Cornstarch]

I'm stoked Dottie alive as well.

[Guest_322]

Aw thanks Cornstarch 😊

Love your wicked sense of humour. You remind me of one of my best friends. You are a rock star and keep being you.

Dottie x