Hello. first time posting

[Arns_Hillier]

I’m feeling a bit lost and alone. I feel a bit weird posting on here. Like I’m talking to the sky at night. Things are always up and down. Getting more down than up these days. There’s no one to talk to. Is there anyone out there?

[another_human]

Hey Arns,

I know what you mean, I'm new to this too. Just remember there's a lot of people out there. And we're all here trying to figure out things.

[geoff]

Hello Arns Hillier and Another.human, sometimes it seems to be lonely out there and I appreciate this because it once was for not only myself but also many others who have volunteered to help on this site, and even at times being here it can sometimes mean we are going back to the secrets we hold to our chest.

If either or both of you want to come back and discuss any issue then please do, we hope to hear from you whenever you want.

Geoff.

[Doolhof]

Hi Arns Hillier and another.human,

Sending you both a warm welcome to the community here. Yes, it does seem a little strange at first sending a message off here and wondering who, if anyone will respond. This is a forum with many different aspects to it. When you feel comfortable, you can branch out to a variety of sections. You might like to have a look at the Social Section and see if there are any threads there you might like to contribute to in time.

Loneliness is something that seems to be increasing in this fast paced world of ours. We have so many ways of connecting and yet we seem to have lost the sense of connectiveness. You see so many people using mobile phones yet not talking tot he person right next to them.

People used to use their front gardens, now you walk down a street and wonder where all the people are. Kids used to play in parks, that doesn't happen so much any more. Some people look at you like you are a lunatic if you say hello to them.

Joining clubs, groups or volunteering can help us be around different people. At least in these situations people feel comfortable talking to each other!

Hope you both feel welcome here!

Cheers from Dools

[Arns_Hillier]

Thanks for the responses. Its taken me a while to get back in here.

I agree about the lack of connection. I just feel drained from trying.I work to make small connections and then they die out. I look at people who have healthy friendships and wonder what the hell is wrong with me that I cant keep friends. I care about people and I make an effort. But I always find myself being excluded. Which makes me think that there must be something wrong with me. I’m a crappy person that no one wants to be around. I’m at the point where I do t know if I try too hard or not hard enough. But getting ready to give up entirely and accept I’m not meant to have proper human connections. Time to get a cat?

[geoff]

Hi AH, not all friendships are healthy all the time, people have disagreement's and don't talk to each other for as long as it takes for one of them to instigate a phone call or meet up somewhere.

No matter how unimportant, even if it's something you already know the answer to, ask for advice on it, and even if you know the answer to whatever it is, just say you'll try it.

Expect them to act like the friend you want, and they will try to fulfil the role they think is expected of them if you give them the prompt for that role.

If you show you trust them, or acknowledge them as wise and experienced, they will like you subconsciously and feel closer to you for it.

A cat or a puppy would be great.

Geoff.

[Arns_Hillier]

Ok so I guess I have just held anxiety and depression at bay all my life and I am feeling like they are now starting to win. Feeling like I’m in a downward spiral and the things I used to do to lift myself aren’t enough or available. Losing my interest in most things. I have reached out to a help group but that won’t start for a few weeks. There are a number of things coming up that I can’t face - feel like locking myself away from the world but there are so many demands and responsibilities that I can’t. Alienating people as I go. So unhappy.