First time posting

[Loulou83]

Hi

This is my first time posting but really just need to talk about what's going on with me.

I had a baby back on the 24/11/18 and a week later ended up in hospital with high blood pressure and server headaches whilst there I suffered a seziure and a stroke. I'm now struggling to cope with daily life, I feel like noone understands what I'm going through I'm angry all the time, cry everyday, I don't feel like myself I'm not even sure I understand what I'm feeling. I just don't know what to do right now. Thanks for reading

[Star_Jasmine]

Hi loulou,

Firstly congratulations on the birth of your baby. Is it your first? That sounds pretty intense and scary what happened after the birth! Were you ok after the stroke?

I had severe pre-eclampsia with my second daughter but it was detected in time and all kept under control at the hospital. The first few hours were a bit scary because even the doctors seemed worried.

Sorry to hear you're struggling so much. It's not easy to be dealing with those emotions whilst trying to look after a newborn.

Have you spoken to anyone about this - your partner? Or a GP? It does sound like you might be experiencing symptoms of post-natal depression. Perhaps it was brought on by the stress after the birth. There are some pretty crazy hormonal changes that happen with pregnancy and birth that can affect our state of mind.

I have had post-natal depression with both my kids. With my first it was quite mild so I kind of ignored it and it went away. But with my second it came back again, and worse that time. I realised something wasn't right so I went to the GP who basically said yep, you've got postnatal depression and referred me to a psychologist. She didn't think I needed medication but I ended up asking her for it about 6 months down the track.

Postnatal depression is actually very common, I think 1 in 7 women get it. So don't worry, you are not alone and there is plenty of support out there!

There's so much pressure on mums these days for everything to be perfect so when something goes wrong, you feel like a failure. Plus babies basically turn your life upside down and that can be hard to adjust to.

Please reach out to the people around you (and us here too!) and know that everything will get better. Just hang in there! And make sure you try to take care of yourself too.

Star Jasmine 💮

[geoff]

Hello Loulou, thanks for coming to the forums.

It must be lovely to have a baby, but once you have a seizure and a stroke the situation can change because both are serious and impact your brain activity.

I don't think anybody understands if you tell them you're an epileptic until, unfortunately, you have a seizure, that's what happens with me, although I'm medically controlled and have been for a long time, so I appreciate what you are saying.

After a stroke and seizure while trying to look after a new baby is going to be most difficult for you and could cause PND if you don't have this already, this must be so hard to cope with for you, I really feel sorry to see this happening.

Can I ask if you are able to walk and your ability to fulfil activities of daily living and if you can take on multiple tasks, this is important as I really would like to know.

Take care.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[Loulou83]

Hi Geoff

Yes I am able to walk and so daily activities I just find it alot harder to get the motivation to do it as I am so fatigued everyday and want to sleep then put looking after the new born and toddler it makes it hard. Im one of the lucky ones in the aspect that I didn't suffer with paralysis or droopy face or anything just weaker on my left side, dizzy, my eyes have gone funny with long distance, still have constant headaches and my short term memory isn't there. All things that can be worked on once my brain starts making new paths around the dead spot in my brain.

Just finding it hard to cope with everything on a day to day basis. I've come out of hospital straight back into life everyone expects me to be the same person but I'm not and it's hard. I have an appointment with my doctor next week to talk about it all.

Thank you for your response

[Loulou83]

Hi Star Jasmine

Thank you. No he isn't my first he is actually my 6th baby. I don't have any paralysis or facial droop after my stroke but still have some affects from it such as headaches still, weakness on my left side, problems with my eyes, dizziness and problems with my short term memory.

The doctors did some testing on me as they thought I had post pre eclampsia to start with but it didn't add up to them and I had a healthy pregnancy as well no issues at all. They then thought I had an infection or swelling in my brain so was being treated for that and having CT scans and lumber punctures then had an MRI and seen that I had a stroke.

I am going to go to the doctors next week and have a chat with him about the feelings I'm having and see what he says cause I know I've changed but still don't think what I'm feeling is right and it worries me. I've spoken to my hubby about it but he just fobs me off as he don't understand either.

Thank you for your reply

[geoff]

Hello Loulou, everything that you've said to Star Jasmine as well me I can relate to and want to keep talking with you.

I'm sorry that it's time for me to log off as I start very early in the morning normally about 12.30 to 1.00 am, but I have bookmarked your thread and will definitely get back to you tomorrow.

I haven't had a stroke but have had epilepsy, seizures and all of what happens concerns me greatly.

Take care.

Geoff.

[geoff]

Hello Loulou, I'm sorry I'm late in getting back to you as I had to go out.

It's great to know that there are no visual paralysis or facial droop, however, the other effects you mention you are having, are also what happens after having a seizure and wonder in all kindness, whether you had these on the ground and hitting your head on the ground or sitting in a chair.

I can only comment on your seizure as I haven't had a stroke, although I know someone who has had a stroke but has no weakness on one side and can still play golf as well as swim each week, but his ability is not as it used to be.

From having a seizure you wake up not knowing where you are, who is PM, what year it is, nor your date of birth, so you're lost in a land of wilderness, not knowing whether it's day or night.

I just can't believe how sorry I feel for you for what's happened.

Professional doctors will give you their valued support, but it's when you are home, that's the time when you need someone/s to understand how you feel and to realise that what you are going through is something you have had to cope with yourself.

It's such a terrible experience, something you hope will never happen again.

I can tell you a bit more about my friend who has had a stroke, so please ask me whatever you want as well as having a seizure.

Take care and Best wishes.

Geoff. x

[Loulou83]

Hi Geoff,

I was in ICU when I had my seziure. I had to go to the toilet so I had the nurse come and help me as I was hooked up to lots of monitors and because of that they didn't want me walking to far so had a komode in the room next to the bed. I sat up while the disconnected me and I felt abit dizzy the nurse asked was I ok I told her just a head spin that I was fine. While I was sitting on the komode I remember saying to her that I don't feel well I then remember her calling for help and calling my name but I couldn't answer her next thing I know I woke up on the bed with lots of doctors and nurses around me. I could barely open my eyes and my headache was back in full force. I was then rushed around for a CT scan and I couldn't move they had to move me from the bed to the other bed for the scan and back again I felt so out of it. My mum and partner came up that afternoon and they could tell I was a different person something wasn't right I don't even remember them being there. I remember the nurse said to me the next day that I was unresponsive for quite awhile. They can't tell me whether or not that the seziure I had was actually my stroke but they seem to think it may of been but can't be sure. My stroke happened in my cerebellum which affects balance, movement, fine motor skills. For me it's given me vertigo, a weaker left side, headaches still, and I have problems seeing long distance and short term memory issues and I've noticed my left eye droops a little now. A stroke in the cerebellum is not very common only a small percentage of strokes are here in the brain. I have to have lost of test done on my heart and legs and blood tests to see if they can see where the clot came from.

This is where I'm finding it hard the unknown, what's gonna happen in the future, am I going to have another one? And then trying to look after my a new born and my children. I'm over hearing you will be fine you will recover. Up till this last week I think I've been in denial and I've had Christmas to focus on but now I don't and it's hit me that I've had a stroke at 34. Yes I survived but it's still very scary and it makes me angry that it happened makes me sad as well I'm all over the place with my emotions and it's hard having an "invisible" disability as you would know cause people don't see that physical change in you so they don't understand.

[geoff]

Hello Loulou, I know what you are telling me because when I was assaulted from behind at 31, my head hit the concrete and developed a blood clot, that's how epilepsy started and why my seizures began.

Just like you, no one would answer any question I asked, but this is your thread, but you are more important, so you have six children to look after, with one being a newborn, that's going to be hard work, so there are a couple of things I want you to do, if that's possible, are there people who are helping you, and I know it's a difficult time of the year and something awful always seems to happen like this at the worst time, so you never seem to be able to get answers, but can you need to see your doctor.

Excuse me and apologise but I'm logging off but will check your reply, and please remember I understand exactly what you are telling me.

My Thoughts are with you.

Geoff.