first post - not a new member

[thomas1029609]

I signed up late last year and just finding the courage to say hi

well the short story been on medication and going to counselling for almost a year with a few ups and downs, my life lately has changed with a fair few positives from buying my own house to meeting an awesome partner and now with a 10 week old baby. i still some days feel why? and what am i doing? what am i doing wrong?

I also sometimes feel the counselling isn't working and just a lot of telling me what i should do not helping with the situation like the empty advice my mum would give when i was a child (just be happy and it will be ok).

however my job well today had a surprise performance review and well made me feel like just wanting to walk out the door and quit. i had issues over the last 2 years and about 12 months ago got worse. the managers comment how they "saved me" and convinced a client to keep me, along with past issues etc and interview feedback from a prospective client.

i know i need to get out of my job and i feel im only just hanging on at present, iv applied for some jobs and had some interviews but my struggle is when already feeling depressed and down to be the bubbly, enthusiastic, confident and ....i look at those words in the job description and feel how?

thanks for reading

[thomas1029609]

Hi

Thanks for the support and the additional reading

been slowly going through the reading, feel iv got alot on my plate at present and little motivation and lack of energy, to add to it all the manager has put it with a deadline the client wants someone else to replace me and they are not going to bother fixing the situation. they also havent any other work in the company so plan to reduce me to part time, then once that happens feel they will reduce my hours or other clients as they wont need me to work a full week.

that said its making me feel i dont want to stay its hard to be motivated and makes it difficult to go into work guns blazing, show confidence and be happy and cheerful and earn back their trust when you know the people your working for dont want you there

as for the job search its not been very successful, doubting myself and what i should be applying for or that i dont have what they want

got a appointment with the therapist again sooner than the original scheduled one so that is good and spent the last one just listening to all the latest issues so hopefully getting on track

thanks

[blondguy]

Hey Thomas

Thanks for posting back!

If it was me I would have trouble going in with guns blazing when you have zero support from management too.

Excellent work getting that appointment moved closer by the way:-)

How is the anxiety going? (if thats okay to ask, of course)

Kind Thoughts

Paul

[thomas1029609]

hey

yeah not going to well with the anxiety and the stress and the depression and the knowing they are not going to help resolve it and going through the steps to get rid of me with a mortgage and family to support. i feel im stuck against a wall with the looking and applying for jobs and thats not helping

other then the therapist are there any suggestions on places or things that can help with the confidence building and not letting others walk all over me and that will assist with interview skills (im in melbourne)

thanks for the support

[thomas1029609]

hi

just wanted to chat and well vent my morning i feel has not been to good felt like punching someone two times i was asked a question and i gave them an answer to resolve it and things to try and test (i work in IT and its what im qualified to do) then to be told need to find someone else to sort it out .... thinking im right here and just told you....

well i know my time here is limited and well i want to get out ... im got an appointment to speak to my doctor as it hurts me and i know im hurting my partner i have issues at work then i get frustrated with her for little things

well im at work ment to be working but lacking any motivation to and well almost about to cry.... i just saw a courier come to reception with a smile on his face and deliver some flowers and put them on the desk and walk off and all the happy office ladies seeing them smile and thanking him .... made me feel like what am i missing

thanks for reading

[blondguy]

Hey Thomas

No worries at all...always good to hear from you. I have been in the same position with an employer...Its like you are 'invisible' I like yourself had to get out. It does sound like an unfriendly work environment.

You have done well making the appointment to see your doc...Excellent. You are also aware that you dont want your partner to be effected too...You have a healthy attitude Thomas...

You deserve better treatment as you care so much about your job. It is a shame that your contribution is not being reciprocated by senior staff.

Im glad you have posted...and have said what is on your mind...

I hope you have some peace soon

Paul

[Gruffudd]

Hi Thomas,

My turn to say welcome. I'm glad of both that you were there reading and now have decided to post something. I know that feeling of being unhappy at work and seeing others who are apparently enjoying themselves - I think it makes the feelings worse for me when I see that. It did get better for me, like your psych said, I had to build myself up, which meant that I had to be a priority and if work wasn't perfect as a result that was just going to have to do for a while - a rebalancing if you like. Then I was a bit happier and got a new job when I could be judged on a good day. You mention the courier and I think back, I was very happy working as a tram driver and as a delivery boy before doing what I am now qualified for. The pay wasn't much different either - so they might be options if I need to shift again.

Its the weekend. What do you like doing when you are not at work? I'm thinking of taking the car up into the hills for a walk and a picnic with the sheep.

Rob.

[thomas1029609]

Hi

well a bit of an update, it hasn't been to wonderful a few appointments and days off work and the doctor decided to change to a different medication as was not helping with the anxiety I'm now in the process of going off one 😞 ... Well the hard bit is knowing I need to find a new job but with the anxiety iv had two interviews and I then worry to much and talk myself out of it so much I dont end up going .... Doesn't help the situation

well just have to wait till I'm on the new medication and things pick up

thanks