First anxiety then depression

[Guest_39344674]

My name is Will and I have been struggling this battle that seems to not have an end date no matter how hard I try. Today was just one of those days where you end up having a bit of a breakdown and the tears come up and you just feel like giving up. 

life is too precious, short and beautiful  to waste it with these feelings but I can’t shake them. I’ve seen all types of therapists doctors and I just don’t know what the next step would be from this point as it can become a lot as well all know. 

anyway here is my welcoming post please feel free to free to give some advice and share your experiences and how you have managed them. Or even just to say hello! 

[Croix]

Dear New Member~

Welcome here to the Forum, I"m glad you came as it sounds as if you need some encouragement and understanding. Anxiety and depression are terribly hard to live with and if you try doctors, therapists and treatments and they have done no good then it becomes very easy to think treatment is never going to work. 

Of course this is made worse as depression feeds a person full of negative and hopeless thoughts. I should know. I've PTSD, bouts of depression,anxiety and felt there was no where to go but take my life.

I was wrong and my life has turned around, something I never thought would happen. It was not quick. Over years I tried different therapies (some made things worse, some were just discouraging), and different medication too.

Fortunately I had a psychiatrist would listen to me when I said something was not working and was always willing ot try new techniques and meds. Eventually I was given an effective medication, free from most side effects and did its job 90% of the time (nothing is 100%), plus simple talk therapy.

I'm a different person now, depression and suicidal thoughts are much less and manageable as is my anxiety.

You have not found the correct treatment yet, however I'm sure if I can be brought back to a normal life then there is a good chance you can too if you persevere with treatments, changing as necessary till you hit the one that works. New medications are now available that never were when I started.

Apart from clinical support do you you have anyone in your life to give you support too? A family member or friend perhaps? I know my partner, while not understanding what my toughs an feelings were was a real help, always being there and caring.

If you would like to come back and talk more you'd be most welcome.

Croix

[therising]

Hi Will, the warmest of welcomes to you at one of the most challenging times of your life.

I think it's fair to not be a huge fan of the quest to find what works (regarding depression or anxiety). Such a quest can definitely become depressing at times, while we may be left with the false belief 'I'm just so broken to the point where nothing is working'. The longer things go on, the more convinced we can become. I can relate. I've actually found the truth to be 'Nothing works until we discover the very thing that makes a difference'. While that sounds simplistic, finding what makes a difference can be far from simple. Took me 15 years or so to find the thing that took me out of long term depression. With every short term depression since, I've managed to find what works. Again, not always easy.

For some, what makes a difference can be found inside the square. For others, it's outside the square. While there have been times where elements of psychology and chemistry (medication) have worked for me, there have been other times where going outside the square has been the only thing to make a difference. At times our suffering can be based on psychological factors and we may see someone to help us address such things. At other times our suffering can be based on physical/biological/chemical factors or deficiencies and we rely on physicians, biologists and/or chemists to resolve such issues. Then there can be the occasions where there's a 'dark night of the soul' feel to our struggles. The question then becomes 'Who's our 'go to' person for such struggles?'. 

Personally, outside the square works a lot of the time for me. While some may say 'No way, that's where all the 'woo woo' stuff is and I have no interest in that', some of it can become fascinating and liberating (depending on where you go down that rabbit hole). For a start, it's an area that can point to our feelings not being our fault. To feel is an ability. If there is something depressing going on, you'll feel it. If there is something stressful going on, you'll feel it. If there is someone who is bringing us down, we'll feel it. If something has become mind numbing or exhausting, we can easily sense what 'numb' and 'exhausted' feel like. So, while we may have spent so much time trying to get rid of certain feelings, believing they pointed to us as being 'broken', the whole time we were never broken while our feelings were trying to tell us something. Sometimes the greatest fault comes down to not knowing how to feel (constructively) and that's not our fault if we were never given the knowledge.