Feeling Disconnected and Alone

[_liv___]

Hey guys,

I’m new to this and was wanted to address so feelings and emotions that have carried on for a while as i feel that I am not ready to tell my friends and family about it.

For about two months constantly I have had the feeling of emptiness, being alone and having no determination to do anything. This is scary to me as I am normally a ‘glass half full’ type of person but am slowly starting to no longer see it that way.

I find it hard to get up of a morning and do the tasks set for the day. I struggle trying to socialize with my close friends as I often feel like an outcast and has also recently drifted from one of my life long friends.

Anoyone got any suggestions on how to over come these emotions or begin to learn how to deal with them?

[geoff]

Hello Liv, and a warm welcome to the site.

When you try and explain to anybody that you feel disconnected, alone and empty, then those you may tell do the opposite to you, which only makes you feel cut off even more, because at this point it doesn't matter what they say about all the friends and the lifestyle you have, it means nothing, because you feel the opposite.

There may be no specific reason why this may happen, but any mental illness is similar to doing a job but it's not as good as you would normally do it or alternatively you don't have the energy to want to begin, so all of this will overpower you and why, well you aren't sure why, it just happens.

I'm not a doctor to say this, but I can suggest from my own experience, and that this feeling won't go away by itself, although you may believe it's not as bad as originally, but the problem may not have been solved, just pushed away, so are you able to visit your doctor and please don't be afraid, they look after people and understand your position.

Ask them about the 'mental health plan' this allows Medicare to pay for 10 sessions with a psych, this will get the ball rolling.

Take good care of yourself.

Geoff.

[Sophie_M]

Hey liv,

Welcome to our Beyond Blue forums and thank you for sharing your what you are going through. We are so sorry to hear you are struggling to find a sense of connection. This can feel awful and bewildering if we've not felt this way before. Please know you are in a safe, supportive place where our wonderful community members will be able to chime in with their advice and insights. Many of us here can relate to what you are feeling.

You said this is a recent experience i.e. in the last 2 months that you've felt this way. Do you have an idea of what might have triggered it? It's not always possible to pinpoint reason for feeling like this so it's perfectly okay if you don't know what triggered it. The important thing is that you have self-awareness and are reaching out for help which is usually quite hard to do. We're proud of you for doing that.

We recommend you getting the support you deserve and need. You could talk to a doctor or counsellor (assuming you can access one via your school). There are also phone and online supports available which can be a great starting point. If you would like to talk to someone we would recommend that you get in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals.

We also strongly recommend reaching out to Kids Help Line who provide support to young people. They can be reached via 1800 55 1800 or online chat https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling. There are also peer support forums for young people through Reach Out Australia: https://au.reachout.com/online-community

If you ever feel unsafe, please call 000 straight away as this is an emergency.

We hope to hear more from you on the forums, whenever you feel up for sharing.

[Pumpkinella]

Hi .liv,

Thanks for sharing this and I am sorry you are going through this. How are you feeling today?

I noticed that you said you have been feeling this way for around two months. Normally when we talk about why we think this might be happening with compassion and understanding, it can help to get to the underlying cause. Would you like to talk about it here? I am wondering whether there is something going on in your life that may have triggered these feelings (e.g. covid lockdowns etc)?

I understand you may not be ready to talk to your friends and family. These kind of emotions normally make us withdraw. I want you to know though there is no shame in what you are experiencing. These are very common emotions especially during the pandemic.

I agree that talking to a psychologist right now would be a really good idea. Because this is a relatively new issue that you are having, seeing someone sooner rather than later can really help. Do you have a GP you regularly see? You can also check out psychologists here if there is a particular one you might like the look of..

https://psychology.org.au/find-a-psychologist

Here to chat.

[_liv___]

Hey guys,

Im honestly not sure what caused these feelings. I feel that if may be the fact that I do not have to most supportive friends group. If i were to get myself into a bad situation they would simply tell me that i screwed up and to move on with my day, obviously not very helpful.

I think this many be a large contributor to me feeling a disconnectedness. I cannot move friendship groups as I do not know anyone else.

I have a lovely family but am scarred to tell them anything as I do not want to cause distress or make them feel like this is there fault, as it definitely isn’t.

I try my best to maintain and follow basic rules and choirs around the house so I do not let them down but I am slowly starting to feel that I am swimming in them, but i can’t tell if it’s just me being lazy.

I got a casual job and they only put me on during the weekends and due to this my life has become only school and work, i feel as thought i do not have time for anything else.

There are so many different things happening at the moment and I cannot tell if these are genuine issues or if i’m making them up in my head.

Also, thanks for suggesting talking to my GP and bringing up the Medicare.

[Pumpkinella]

Hi .liv,

Sorry to hear about your friends group, do you want to talk a little more about that - is there anyone in the group that is a little nicer that you may feel a bit more comfortable around?

Just so you know I don't think you are making things up in your head - I think you have noticed a change in your life and you see its a little out of balance, but your just unsure of what it is exactly that's happening. I think speaking to a counsellor would help get some clarity here. If its something quite easy to address or if its something that requires a bit more effort and a few changes - either way its fine. Do you also have a school counsellor?

Its great that you are reaching out here as well. Is there anyone in your family that you might be happy opening up to? Someone you know to be compassionate? may I ask why you think they might interpret your issues as their fault?

Here to chat!

[_liv___]

Hey,

Thanks for your reply. I do have a school counselor and have recently been thinking about speaking to her. I am not yet sure how to do it however.

I don’t know why my parents would feel this way as they are extremely loving and stuff but i think I may be getting myself worked up about it. I don’t want them to think in any way that it is their fault and i don’t want them to worry or fee need to care for me more than they already do as they both have a lot on their schedule.

I find it hard sometimes to express my feelings as i often overshare details that I only feel in that moment in time or do not discuss important issues. I am never in between. And i feel that this may be my problem in working up the nerve to tell anyone.

[Pumpkinella]

Hey .liv,

Thanks for sharing and I can relate to what your saying. When I bottle things up and don't discuss the important issues, sometimes things come out in weird ways - I focus on something not really important, overshare or exaggerate other things. For me it was figuring out how to talk to people when problems arose. Then it was never really dramatic because I wasn't hiding it. When you hide things they seem much more serious.

Perhaps for you it might be learning how to talk to trusted people when issues come up for you, even if they are big or small. It doesn't need to be very serious or dramatic, the feelings you are experiencing are felt by so many people. If your parents are loving as you say, and I am sure they are, then they will just want to give you a bit of guidance or support. It is so normal to guide your children when things are tough for them. My mother has helped me through every hard period of my life - it is a big part of parenting and I'm sure they would want to know how you are feeling.

Would you feel comfortable asking the school administrator regarding seeing a counsellor? I'm hoping there also might be some signs up at your school in common areas? Its been a while since I was at school - do they have a website you can access to look up internal school information to see if there is counsellor information there?

How are you feeling today?