Dear Enna~
Welcome here to the Forum, where there are an awful lot of people who have had to deal with the ups and downs of depression - so relate exactly to what you are going though and how understandable that fear is.
I hang on firmly to the idea I've been there Oreo and managed to come out the other side. I try to remember it is my mind, and that only a small change in it will have a big effect.
As you say, mostly you do control it with meds and lifestyle. This is a pretty big accomplishment and if occasionally these measures are not enough I"m sure history will repeat itself and things will improve again.
Do you remember how you got though it last time? What you did?
Can I suggest you go back to your Doctor and ask about having your treatment adjusted temporarily to combat this latest development? Any doctor will expect to have to make changes from time to time, not many people are that static.
One of the really big things for me was the support of my partner, who had a pretty hard time of it dealing with me. It did make the world of difference to me to know I was not alone, even if at times being with people, even my partner, was simply too much pressure.
Do you have anyone like that to care for you?
Croix
