Drug addicted son mental health problems

[Lostson29]

Hello I’m after any advice that is going to be helpful to my son situation. He is 29 and is a drug addict. This is his third time in Jail. He has mental health issues that have not been diagnosed
i’m currently unwell myself and have a lifetime medical conditions that will eventually claim my life

I’m his mum I love my son dearly 

I don’t condone his behaviour or his choices . He had a good family home a good job, manager and I had two grandchildren whom I will now never get to see again

my son turned to drugs when he had his second child and was told by the mother that she only wanted a child support, baby, he was kicked out of the home they shared and came back to live with me

he’s oldest child. Nine years old was to another woman, and both mothers knew each other, both decided that he was no longer to his other child either . This devastated, my whole family me as a grandparent, my daughter as an auntie and my son, as their father

he found the quickest most easiest way to make money was to turn to drugs and doing crime to pay for this solicitor of $20,000 to get his children back at that time I offered to sell the house prior to his drug use,

I’m not writing this as an excuse because people deal with things differently, but the Depression of losing his children, especially after nine years was too much he reached out for help but it was all money orientated, and the court system for trying to get contact with the children was about a year

His addiction has turned him into a person that I cannot help, and I don’t know how to hes verbally abusive and is disrespectful to everybody, including the police and Jail

the first time he got out of Jail he went back in because he broke parole. The second time was much more positive. He came out, got a job was clean  for six months. He sort help but got caught up again with the people that he calls his family, rather than his own family the police would not let his prior sentence go. He had four months to serve, and he thought well if I’m going to do four months I mose well do more

all this time he tried to get mental health. The parole board revoked his parole and locked him up for a week with no explanation still to this day. We have not got an explanation this set him back tremendously, especially after six months of holding down a job and drug tested and reporting and attending every meeting  he spent one week in lock up and one day in Jail and I picked him up again. I could tell that he just wanted to give up 

there’s currently a threat on his life from his choices and mine. 
I don’t know if I can have my son back here and I don’t know how to tell him that I can’t watch him, destroy his life by banging his head into the wall. I stood in front of the car. so he couldn’t drive away He told me he doesn’t care how much he’s hurting me told me he would kill me he’s brought criminals to my house given them keys to my house brought substances to my house and other items. I have random junkies ringing me Pretending to care about him

I’m in pain lying in bed most days with my own conditions. I can’t even help myself

He’s tried to kill himself several times in the past when he first went to Jail. He rang me 16 times a day to tell me he’s going to kill himself. He needs help. I know the jail won’t give it to him, he tried before to do mental health in there and it’s an outside program, so it’s very limited and they haven’t got the room

anybody, suggestions and help would be greatly appreciated thank you

[Rosie]

Hi Lostson29

Your story is heartbreaking and it sounds like you have done everything you can to help your son get back on track considering you are unwell yourself.  You must be physically and mentally exhausted.

Have you an older male figure in your life who would be willing to help?  It sounds like your son may not be receptive to any advise from a woman. Also he knows he can say anything to you and you'll still love him which is why you have become his punching bag. If you haven't already, ring one of the drug support groups like "Family Drug Support Australia".  At least they could support you as I'm really concerned for your physical and mental health.  Remember you can ring Lifeline or Beyond blue support line 24/7 if you just need to have a good cry.  Sometimes just to hear a kind sympathetic voice gives you a feeling you are not alone.

Hang in there Lostson29 you sound like a wonderful mum but even a mum needs some nurturing.

Keep in touch, hopefully someone who has been in the same boat as you will reach out soon.  xxx