Does eat oats

[Does_eat_oats]

Suffered depression and anxiety for many years. Now older and retired need help with social anxiety and lack of inspiration

[white knight]

Hi DEO, welcome

I've been retired 8 years. It's been ok for me, even with bipolar, depression, dysthymia and past anxiety that I conquered (more on anxiety later). What I've realised over the years and with 4 major long term relationships, is that you either have a passion or you dont. It's ok for some including me to suggest a hobby or follow a footy team but if it isnt a passion you wont do it for long. What is a passion? Well a passion is inground from childhood, something that kids followed with their natural desire to obsessive levels. Those without a passion cant understand those with one.

There can be a possibility of joining a loved one with a passion. EG I wanted a large slot car set and my wife suggested she do the landscaping/build buildings and paint the scenery. That allowed me to integrate two train sets also into the project. It's proven a good hobby for both of us and apart from initial start up costs it is a cheap interest unlike many sports and other hobbies.

I'm not greatly experienced with social anxiety, however general anxiety or work related anxiety I have history. It took me 2 decades to eliminate anxiety. This included a cocktail of actions and I had felt improvement in the first 2 years. Better for me to list links to these experiences.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/anxiety/anxiety-how-l-eliminated-it

The following one centres on our nature and that was written with the view that we are limited on how far we can change to combat an illness. So please dont aim too high for good results.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/accepting-yourself-the-frog-and-the-scorpion

The next one includes links to youtube videos of Maharaji Prem Rawat. Not religion, and his videos are amazing.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/meditation---words-of-wisdom---it-helped-me-for-25-years

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/the-toll-of-stress-upon-us

Finally one on depression., the most relevant.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/depression/depression-and-the-timing-of-motivation

I hope they help. There is a comprehensive library when you use search but if there is other posts you'd like to read please repost and I'll find more or talk more.

P.S do you have any specific area that triggers your anxiety?

TonyWK

[Mk2692]

Hi Does eat oats,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for reaching out. I'm sorry to hear that you have suffered from anxiety and depression for many years. I am not sure if you see a professional in regards to this, if not then I would recommend to see a psychologist or counsellor as they can provide you with a mental health care plan and strategies to help you with these issues. I think a lot of people are currently experiencing social anxiety especially coming out of lockdowns. I personally found that putting myself out there and speaking to more people helped with my social anxiety and confidence. I started with online dating, chatting to everyone at work and at social gatherings. I felt the more I exposed myself to social settings, the more confident I have become. Another great way would be to get involved in the community, maybe by even volunteering you can meet new people and it will help build your confidence. There are physical things you can do when feeling anxious in social settings such as breathing techniques, this can help calm you down instantly.

In terms of finding inspiration, you would need to think about what you want to do and what makes you happy. Think about the short term and long term goals that you would like to achieve. A simple way would be to write everything out and then reflect back on it on how you can achieve this. Another way would be to read, watch inspirational figures on YouTube and listen to podcasts. You might feel inspired from a person or an idea and that can provide you the motivation to achieve something great. Hope you found this helpful.