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Deflating my issues
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I try and keep my mind preoccupied at all times I listen to music fall asleep to YouTube so I don’t have to deal with what I’m feeling and I think it’s getting to me but I hate feeling emotional I’ve always put a mask on that I’m great but I feel it’s starting to slip and it’s scaring me to feel my emotions or let ppl in
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Hi Rizla, the warmest of welcomes to you.
It can definitely be challenging to be a master of emotions, either way. What I mean by that is some people master not feeling them, through a whole variety of strategies, whereas others master feeling them in the finest of detail so as to make greater sense of them. When a mastered ability begins to take a gradual or sudden turn, it can be so confronting.
I suppose no one really prepares us for when we begin to feel so much. If anything, a lot of folk will suggest there's something 'wrong' with it or there's something 'wrong' with us. Personally, I've found having key people in my life who can help me make greater sense of my emotions is what makes a huge difference. I'm a big believer in all emotions being telling, so it becomes a matter of interacting with emotions with the kind of attitude 'Okay, what are you trying to tell me that I've been ignoring or have not been conscious of for days/weeks/months/years?'.
In regard to letting people in, I've learned it's not at all productive to let people in on my emotions who are going to be counter productive. I typically won't let people in who say things like 'You'll be right' or 'You need to just get on with life' or 'You need to toughen up and stop being so sensitive'. None of that is at all helpful based on it not offering any plan whatsoever. How will be be 'right'? How do we 'just get on with life'? And when it comes to the sensitivity comment, my response to that would be 'Yes, I'm beginning to sense in great detail, which is why I can sense your comment as being degrading'. I will choose the people in my life who will help me answer the question 'What exactly am I feeling/sensing and why am I feeling/sensing it, especially now?'. I'll reveal my struggle/s to someone who can help me 'come to my senses' in productive ways. If my emotions are giving me absolutely no choice but to dive into them, I want a pro diver by my side, not someone sitting on the sidelines heckling or simply hoping for the best for me. Do you have anyone in your life who is sensitive enough to be able to feel for you and your struggles, while also gaining a feel for the best way forward? This way you're not feeling alone.
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Hey Rizla,
What type of music do you listen to?
I once was so depressed with the summer heat I’d crank on the a/c, slip under the covers and listen to thunder and rain sleep sounds. It helped me escape.
Whats wrong with emotion?
Besides the fear of vulnerability, which I can understand and the feeling like your loosing your grip. Crying can be quite cathartic though I find. Had to learn how to cry at first. Used to be so stiff nothing moved me. I was basically dead inside. I’d rather cry and feel alive than not cry and be dead inside.
I read somewhere that power is made perfect in weakness although I struggled to see how. Strangely something counterintuitive happened when I embraced it.
Some effective ‘logotherapy’ thats been helpful in my case.