Confused and uncertain (selfish?!)

[Confused_from_Qld]

On the face of things you'd think I should be happy. A loving family, a very well paid job, a roof over my head. Something isn't right though.

I feel disconnected from my job and every day I go deeper down a hole. I'm embarrassed to tell people (I only recently changed career path), I don't know what I'd do / where i'd turn to instead. I don't want to let my family down or for others to think I don't care or I'm lazy.

I have this deep rooted sadness and the future doesn't look much brighter.

Am I being selfish?

[Bob_22]

Hi Confused_from_Qld,

I don't think you are selfish at all. It is common after making a big move/decision to have doubts or to second guess ourself. This is especially the case if you have any pre-existing mental health issue such as depression where regret and indecisiveness are key symptoms. This was definitely the situation in my case where no matter what life choices I made I couldn't seem to be happy. Even though, like you, I was relatively well off and supported. 

I would say that you shouldn't feel embarrassed to talk to others about what you're going through. Feeling uncertain, sad or hopeless is nothing to be ashamed of and is incredibly common actually. I would suggest you open up to a trusted friend or family member. If you find you are not able to get support through your network it would be worthwhile seeking professional help through your local GP. If you need immediate support you can always talk to the counsellors here at beyond blue: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/talk-to-a-counsellor 

Here's a handy link to mental health check in on beyond blue where you answer some questions about how you're travelling so you can understand what type of support you might need: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/mental-health/mental-health-check-in-k10 

Hope that helps,

Bob

[Mark Z.]

Hi Confused_from_Qld,

I'm sorry for your challenge. Everyone's emotional journey is unique, feeling unhappy or disconnected despite having a seemingly good life is not uncommon, and it doesn't mean you are selfish, not at all.

Instead of focusing on the idea of being selfish, consider exploring your feelings further to understand what might be causing this disconnection and sadness. Some possible reasons could be a lack of fulfillment or passion for your current job, or the pressure of meeting expectations. If you want, you can share your story at workplace, and I'll try to provide some advice as an HR professional. Additionally, if you company provide EAP, you can access a psychologist or counsellor for free, and it will be kept confidential.

It's also essential to communicate with your family and loved ones about your feelings. They might be able to provide support, understanding, and even suggestions to help you through this challenging time.

Remember that you deserve to be happy and fulfilled in your life. Seeking help and support is a sign of strength, not weakness, and it can lead to a better understanding of yourself and your needs.

Mark