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Confused and scared

Russ32
Community Member

Hi,

My wife has told me that she needs to find her identity and needs space from everything. We have been together nearly 30 years, married nearly 25. She was only 16 and I only 19 when we got together. We have 2 daughters and and a son who are all adults. She has told me that she loves and cares for me but not in love with me. She has moved into the spare room at this stage and has told me when she is ready she will talk. She has stated that once she has sorted herself out, her future plans may or may not include me. I’m so scared that she will leave me as I am still deeply in love with her. I have not always been as helpful in the past with home duties and my son and I have had several physical clashes, although my son and I are currently mending our relationship and he actually is being a great support to me, we are on the right path him and I. She will talk about daily stuff such as work and kids still. We are still grocery shopping together and watching tv. She has said a couple of times to back off if I’ve become a little desperate warning me that this will push her away.

Any help or advice from men and women from her perspective and from mine would be greatly appreciated.

2 Replies 2

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Russ, and I'm sorry your comment has been missed sometimes this can happen when the site is busy, I apologise.

I was in a very similar situation as you as we were married for 25 years, my wife (ex) moved into another room and finally divorced me, much to my dissatisfaction, so I understand where you are coming from.

Can I finish replying as I have an appointment to go to.

Take care.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Russ, sorry if you want to, please keep talking to us.

Geoff.