Can anyone give me advice? Life’s getting so hard!

[Ithinkmybrainisbroken]

Hi to everyone who takes the time to read this and offers me some advice.

I’m Jake, 30, from Melbourne and this is my first post.

I have had anxiety/depression since around age 15 and I can’t remember a time when I’ve been genuinely happy for more than a few days or so.

Nearly 3 years ago my fiancé and I separated after 10 years together and we have shared custody of our nearly 4 year old son.

I don’t really have any major life events to share that would explain why I have depression apart from a relationship break down, but who hasn’t had that? I was also depressed before we separated anyway!

I’ve tried different meds for different lengths of time. Had counselling off and on. Always left disappointed that after a small amount of time I’m always back to my negative thoughts and back to being down. I have no interests, no hobbies and feel pretty worthless. No knowledge on specific topics. Pretty much feel enferior to everyone I meet.

I have social anxiety, I’m lonely - live alone and always feel like there is no point to my life aside from my son who I am lucky enough to have care of him 50% of the time. I truely do love him so much and I am grateful to be a big part of his life and vice versa, but I still feel like my mental health is just on a constant downward spiral. I could never do anything to harm myself as I can’t bare the thought of not being there for my son, although I still feel like I am headed closer and closer to a point where I have a break down or just get in my car one day and drive and see how far I can go.

I guess I’m just after a bit of advice to keep my going, keep me getting out of bed and putting one foot in front of the other. I expect the typical response where people will suggest to go back to my GP and think of my son when I’m down and keep your chin up etc. I appreciate the efforts to help but isn’t there something more? Is there an end to this constant pain? It feels so permanent.

I feel like I’m not asking for much, find someone to love and have a career that is satisfying. Two things my life is lacking from currently but I’m just so un motivated to go get it.

Sorry this message is pretty sloppy and all over the place. Thanks for reading. Help?

[PamelaR]

Hello Ithinkmybrainisbroken and welcome to Beyond Blue. Its a caring, friendly, supportive and non judgemental community.

Life sounds very hard for you at the moment. Depression can get that way, particularly if you've had it since you were 15 and tried talking with your doctor, taking medication and counselling.

There are other things you can do to help yourself. There are many in the BB community who post their ideas and suggestions about how to manage their depression. You'll find these posts in the Depression, Staying Well, Long Term Support for the Journey forums. There is a very good thread by Mrs Dooldorf that you can search for in the BB search field - DEPRESSION fight it or embrace it.

I ask a lot of questions because this helps me to support people in the best possible way. However there is no pressure at all for you to respond to anything.

Yes it can be lonely when you're not with someone or you don't have the right job. Life can be so hard at times can't it. I have PTSD, anxiety and depression. What I try to do when I'm depressed is to think about things in my life that are good, e.g. my cats, the volunteering I do. What are some of the good things in your life? I think your son may be?

Do you like watching movies, watching sport, video games or gaming? What about reading or writing? A lot of people here turn to journalling. In particular, dividing the book into positives and negatives of your life. I have found that having an interest is important because I can then start building friendships. Building friendships helps then to move on to making closer relationships.

When you have your son, what sorts of things do you do for entertainment? Do you like going for walks in the park?

Have a look at the Social Zone forum here at BB. There are a lot of people who pop in there to get acquainted with people.

Hope some of the above helps you.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[Doolhof]

Hi I thinkmybrainisborken<

I too welcome you to the forum and the community here. I see that PamelaR has already provided a wonderful reply to you. Pamela actually mentioned a thread I started up. If you have a read of that you will soon see that my depression is up and down and all over the place.

Due to issues with various medications for pain and mental health, my Dr. has taken me off all medication. The last few months I have been trying to cope with various degrees of success.

Some things that help me: Reading, writing down how I am feeling then considering what is actually reality and my head telling me depressive stories, gardening, walking, going to the beach in all weather, mindfulness, volunteering, (currently between jobs) seeing friends when possible and not beating myself up too much on the rough days.

My psychologist is trying to teach me to accept the depressive days, to acknowledge them, to accept I may be able to do little on really bad days and to attempt what I can when I can. Acknowledging my achievements, even if they appear small is good.

I try to think of three things to be thankful for at the end of each day. Once again they don't have to be huge things.

By the way, your message was not sloppy or all over the place! Everyone here communicates in their own style.

Hope you feel welcome and find your way around the forum okay.

Cheers to you from Dools