Brick walls

Soloview · ‎23-05-2017

I find myself desperate and with no way out of this situation. I am on anti-depressants but although they do help, at the moment I am still struggling because of lifestyle challenges. I am 60 years old and live on acreage in the country with my husband who 72 and is retired. I lost my job (which I loved) a couple of years ago due to my employer downsizing. Due to the isolation of where I live I have to travel long distances (one and half hours) to shop and there is absolutely no chance of any work around here. We have had the property on the market for the last couple of years but rural acreage is difficult to sell in the current economy. We don't have a lot of money - my husband is a pensioner- so can't get away to visit family very often. I know I have to be patient and wait until we sell to truly have the freedom to make changes, but lately I find myself not wanting to get out of bed in the morning. I sleep at every opportunity and am putting on weight. I wish I cared! I feel as though I am in prison and nothing will ever change. I have always read books and listened to music but lately I can't even be bothered doing that. I can't force myself to even go for a walk, or cook decent meals or do anything. I just don't care. My husband is wonderful and understands but he is a very quiet person and doesn't talk much. We have a couple of old dogs and I even resent them because they rely on me for food and I don't want to be tied down to do anything like feeding them or walking them. I seem to have lost interest in everything and have no passion or enthusiasm left. I have spoken to my GP but he just tells me I have to exercise and lose weight. He doesn't seem to understand that I can't make myself do these things. I try to change my thinking but it's just one more "have to" in a sea of daily chores. Do you have any recommendations for pulling myself out of this vacuum? There seems to be a brick wall every way I turn.

kanga_brumby · ‎23-05-2017

Soloview welcome to forums. Do you have meany neighbors you can call in on? The reason I ask is maybe you can start a book club. Each of the group read a book and report back on there thoughts of the book. Plus it's an excuse for a morning tea session,and a gossip. You might find some of the other ladies want to exercise as well. Then you might find a small group getting together in a small hall of an empty barn, shed or lounge room and exercise together. Grouping together for support. It's an idea, maybe not you it's worth a try.

Kanga

geoff · ‎24-05-2017

hello Soloview, I feel so sorry for you being in this a situation like this, there always seems to be no escape or even help being on a farmlet, plus the anxiety of not being able to sell the farm, creates huge pressure on the both of you, where you are suffering muchmore than your husband, unless he's pretending to be OK.
To be told by your doctor to exercise and lose weight, to me, is no help what's so ever, and certainly is not going to help you, so the disappointment is slowly eating away for you, and I know that feeling, there couldn't be anything worse than this.
At the moment you don't have anyone to talk to, your husband may not know what sort of pain you are struggling with, plus he could be too tired from working on the farm, and I mean this with all respect for him.
Can you google this 'online group therapy for depression', because at the moment your access to outside help is very limited, or perhaps you could join facebook, some people don't like it and some don't want to join for personal reasons, but you may find it quite absorbing and interesting, that's a decision only you can make.
We have to try and get you involved in something you haven't tried before, it's not going to be easy and will take that extra small step to try and help you, while your farm is on the market. Geoff.

Soloview · ‎29-05-2017

Thank you guys so much for your considered replies. We talk about what to do all the time, but there don't seem to be any answers. If we rent the place out and rent somewhere else Centrelink cuts my husband off the pension and our house becomes an asset. I am already on Facebook (we both are!). We always use the computer for searching for solutions ideas, but guess we will just have to be patient. My husband can't work much on the farm any more as he is just recently out of heart surgery, which doesn't help with his self-esteem either. It's just a bad time in our lives but it could be worse. We have somewhere warm to sleep and enough food to eat and that's not a bad thing to be able to say at this time in the world! Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. It's people like you who truly understand and make a difference.