Dear Wanderlustmel
Happy Birthday and welcome to Beyond Blue. Thank you for telling us your story. I see you have been to a psychologist. Have you and your doctor considered you seeing a psychiatrist? These two mental health specialist operate in different ways so a psychiatrist may be more beneficial as they tend to look for causes of your difficulties. They can also prescribe medication so may have a different view of your AD. It also means you do not need a mental health plan, simply a referral to the psychiatrist and this may be a good long term strategy for you.
I know what it's like being on your own when you are depressed. I first became depressed 15 years ago. I had not long separated from my husband of 30 years and was living alone. It was not a good situation. Fortunately I was still working which helped a great deal. Good friends are wonderful, but as you say, they cannot always be with you.
Jay has made a few suggestions and you may have some ideas of your own. It means that you will have to make the effort to go somewhere or do something and this is the hardest part. Despite the difficulty I gather you are managing to get to work. Good stuff.
Being with other people can be a mixed blessing. It's nice to talk to one or two people but a crowd can be overwhelming. So choose your activities with this in mind. What have you done in the past, what have you always wanted to try? Perhaps your friend can go with you to an activity, just to break the ice. Going somewhere unfamiliar can be daunting. So if your friend can go with you a couple of times it may be very helpful.
If you feel unsafe then phone the BB helpline 1300 22 4636 or Lifeline 13 14 11 call an ambulance or take yourself to hospital. If you start seeing a psychiatrist he/she may have an after hours contact number. Mostly they do so if you are feeling unsafe you could contact them. Do you have private medical insurance? Your psychiatrist will be able to admit you to hospital more easily than your GP, especially if you are able to go to a private hospital. But you will need insurance for that.
Please continue to write in, especially if you have more questions. Browse the web site and read the information available. Use BB to write about your fears or keep a journal. Writing is a helpful activity and may be one you can start now. Just get an exercise book and start scribbling. No one else is going to see it so you can write your most private thoughts.
Mary
