Being me

[Emotions26]

 I cannot work out how to see all of the discussions

How can I read all responses?

Confused and lost before coming here

Who do I ask and how for help?

The above was written last night - day 2 of joining BB

I have responded to several posters and received some lovely replies.

I have also responded to a post written by a member a while back expressing confusion about new set up here.

Now I feel that I might have intruded upon that person's personal space.

So I went searching.

Somewhere found the suggestion start with introduce yourself - have no idea now where that is - no matter - I am here now

Then I thought.

I will start a thread or post or page myself.

Possibly nobody will reply and it will sit and collect dust.

If I don't try, I will never know.

So I have come to this place BB to extend my practising being me which I have commenced in real life.

Not an easy exercise and most people who know me are not particularly enthralled with the emerging of the new me - no surprise really as I have spent far too long listening to everyone else's egotistical chatter.

I found by chance, yes, a thread or passage by someone writing about an analogy of their life being a performance on stage.

I wanted to reply as the words intrigued me and I would love to be able to converse with that person.

I too am extremely  deep.

Well, I could not work out how the page seemed different again!

So being me is proving to be as difficult an exercise in the virtual world as it is in the real world.

Any thoughts.

Should anyone find this; read this and want to continue the conversation.

It would be nice to hear from members who are replying because they want to as much as support from champions and other titles is appreciated.

Thank you if you have read this far.

[Emotions26]

Hello mmmm lover of cats

I found your reply again and realised that I had not supported your response.

I have suddenly discovered a whole list of responses that I have not responded to.

Sigh

Three weeks and some of you have been here for over a year and still confused.

Confusion is part of our mindset when not feeling our best.

Confusion is also a natural response to a healthy mind.

You definitely need to look after you first kittyme.

I agree with "being myself within myself is all that really matters to me" that you quoted. Sounds like this is where you need to be now for you.

I do hope that the increase in movement and activity helps improve your days in a more stimulating way also.

I would not expect anyone to have answers for the world or society as it currently is as the problem is that there are too many people with input not listening to each other as usual.

Thank you for  "your self is worth caring for."

I love that expression and will make an effort to hang onto that one. Better write it down. Better not lose it. Just need to remember where I put it.

Most likely with all of the other efforts of writing something down.

Sigh

Still feeding the mind. It is in a safe place in there somewhere. We all know about those safe places where we put things don't we.

Take care of you.

I am sure that our paths will cross again somehow at some time.

Thank you for all of your responses in the first weeks of my landing here on this massive space.

Meow

Em

[mmMekitty]

Hi Em26

Take the really good things to your heart. Keep them warm & they will grow.

[Emotions26]

Thank you mmmmmmmmmmmmm

A tad short on words at the moment

I wish life would start behaving again

I might have a little chat with life

Stay warm

Em

[mmMekitty]

Hi Em26,

There is no rush. Giv yourself a little time, maybe just jot whatever comes to mind & let the thoughts flow. You don't need to write them here - only if you want or feel it would help to think of writing/talking to a real person.

Or you might like to talk to my picture, like talking to a very patient, calm cat there in your room. Mekitty, as in the picture, has ears - very pretty ears, too. She might look like she is sleeping, but no, she is listening.

Of-course, if you are not thinking words, then maybe something else like drawing or painting? I painted for a while. I got too caught up in how to paint particular effects, to try to replicate as much as I could of the visual image that was in my head.

Writing came more easily for me. I'd begin with a single thought, which ever one it was when I opened my writing book. At first I wrote with the idea no-one would see, so I could write everything.

Through this beginning, I became more able to talk, especially to the Psychiatrist I'd begun seeing all those years ago.

I didn't keep those writing books either. Well, I didn't even want to try to read  what I'd wrote. Often, I think it was illegible, anyway. Those pages were my 'dumping ground'.

I've been thinking, I want to 'dump' the paintings too. I don't know what else to do with them anymore.

*

Life? What if I could order it to be what I want? How far back would I go? Maybe I go back & make something right, then now, be facing effects I could not have predicted? 

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[Emotions26]

Hello smallwolf,

This reply is way overdue.

Possibly sitting on the arrears needing imminent attention report.

I am so very very sorry that I did not write back to you to thank you.

I have gone over every post and realise that I only pressed the support button.

This is not like me at all. This is also not an excuse. I am not into that either.

The only thing that springs to mind is a classic example of overcrowded mind.

I wrote about my confused state and feeling totally lost.

I possibly only at the time was able to focus on the last post written.

I had also responded to Mmme on another thread Do not feed the monster in the depression section.

I always like to write back to people who have taken the time to write to me as I think that is an honour to receive a reply.

I am old fashioned in this way as I much prefer letter writing or even having conversations with "some" people.

You also wrote again and chuckled at my not keen on the cafe scene comment which is true in reality.

I am not at my best in groups.

You asked about my interests.

6 months later I will answer.

Gardening, walking, reading, nature in every shape form existence. It is my calming place. The outer world of nature connecting within my inner world.

I have strong memories of loving nature as a child and fortunately my father loved visiting different places of interest which always fascinated me. My mother did too,  except she did not really talk  about them in the same way as my father. He was teaching us which I adored. He was such a great wealth of knowledge and the little times that I shared with him I treasured.

Wow didn't expect that to open up.

He is always with me and now my mother also when I am in the garden. I share the garden with them as they both loved gardens in their own individual ways.

I used to do ballroom dancing which I loved and I have always loved the theatre and classical music concerts as well as concerts with musical  artists whom I love.

I don't do much of that as I moved away from the city and in the last few years since life has changed, health deteriorated I do not drive very far.

I feel a little more adept at using the forums than when I first landed in a crash.

It still seems overwhelming and huge.

Similar to being one earthling on this planet.

Well you probably won't even see this as I think that only happens if you subscribe.

I feel better that I have now replied.

Emotions 26

I call myself Ems for short

[mmMekitty]

Hi Ems.

I've noticed this thread of yours again! I forgot what it was called, but I was happy to meet & chat wherever I find you.

I thought I'd post here with the hope Wolfie will see 'activity' on your thread & come looking, or maybe, see in their 'Notifications' that I have 'supported' your latest post, & that I have posted here as well. That's why I try to always 'support the posts on the threads I go to, although, sometimes I forget to do that.

Do you know where to find this thread again?

If not, go to (near) the top of the page, click/tap 'Your discussions'.

Ems, I am sure you are carving out a niche for yourself here on BB.

[LRC purrs & does figure 8's around your legs] LRC says, "So you like ballroom dancing, eh?" 

Hello Wolfie!

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[Emotions26]

Hello mmme

That was a very nice gesture, thank you.

LRC loves tripping people up as well? My cat will often be where I need to walk if I move forward, turn sideways or step back and I end up knocking him. Then I have to follow him to apologise as I need to reassure him that I did not mean to. Interesting animals.

Yes I love ballroom dancing. I love dancing fullstop.

I forgot to mention swimming. I love swimming as well. In particular under water when I was younger.

It has been a while.

Have you ever done any ballroom dancing?

Ems

[mmMekitty]

Hello Ems

No, I have never learned any ballroom dancing. I didn't learn the dances others were doing, because of my sight. & then I also never had a partner to dance with, too. I felt very awkward & ungraceful when I tried to dance on my own. I haven't bothered to try for decades.

It was amazing to me how my darling Mekitty would suddenly be right there, right in front of me, just in time to ensure I'd run into her.... like she wanted me to. Only, I feared I'd hurt her so would have to make sure she was okay, every time. I suspect she was playing a practical joke on me, & having a quiet laugh at me when I hopped & sort of danced to keep my balance & not actually fall onto the floor. Scared me every time.

I like being in the water, especially the heated swimming pool where I do the hydrotherapy. somehow, I don't like putting my head into the water like I did when I was a child.

I still feel very unfit, & I struggle doing the few laps of swimming I have during the hydrotherapy sessions. I feel sure I won't make it to the other end of the pool. I can't say I enjoy that part of the hydrotherapy.

I'd like to find a closer heated pool & someone who does hydrotherapy there, & then, go more often, (NDIS funding permitting).

Maybe it's about time you went swimming, again?

Hugzies

mmMekitty (with LRC) 

[Emotions26]

Hello mmMe

I am unsure of your story about your sight. I do not ask as I believe that you should be the one to tell your own story if and when you choose.

I wonder if the vision impaired organisations have any music sessions for people to attend and listen perhaps moving safely where they are seated. Timing and access to such an event would be a factor of course as well.

You are doing very well going to hydrotherapy again. The heated pool is wonderful isn't it as you just wade into the depth that is comfortable. Then I find my shoulders feel cold so I go deeper to stay warm. This is during the exercising. Swimming is separate and I love floating on my back at the end letting everything go.

I can understand you not feeling comfortable putting your head under water as your other sensory perception would be heightened and you might automatically feel a stronger need to hear everything.

It takes time to build up strength in the water. Our bodies work twice as hard in water as they are weightless.

Your strength will gradually increase and whoever is guiding you can reassure you. Most important is your safety in the water as people can slip. As your strength builds your confidence will. You can't slip when you are swimming. A closer pool would be good. Can you go to a closer pool where a physiotherapist could support you?

Swimming on the list along with a zillion other things.  I am getting there slowly slowly also.

Our puddytats like to be as close as they can sometimes. Occasionally for affection, mostly for food with my cat now.

Hugs to you

Ems

[smallwolf]

hi Ems,

life for me is a little crazy at the moment - parents problems that I won't go into here. But guess what ... I did see your reply 🙂 (Just now) Hope you are going OK? What have you been up to lately?

Listening...