Are you grieving too 😞

[UMMBICKIE]

Today I woke up and I felt heavy & scared and I cried & I thought why am I crying?Today I realized I am grieving... I am grieving because I have lost the one person that should mean the most to me... ME😞That may sound selfish to some but for many years I have been there for everyone, to listen, to help to carry them through tough times and I now find myself alone... I have a partner and he is a great person but I still feel alone. I have lost motivation and interest in what I love which is my horses, my animals. I have lost my confidence I everything I want to do. I question myself and second guess my daily routine. I believe I am a good person who is always there for others why do they not reciprocate... Is it because I disguise my pain from them and they think I am fine or is it they just don't really care if I am not fine..... So I thought am I being relative should I be proactive 🤔 I have been treated by physicians & professionals for years I take my medication and normally this keeps everything in perspective but life is never a flat line it is a roller coaster, ups n downs but sometimes the downs are a liitle harder to bare..... Today I joined Beyond Blue to be proactive and try to find the helping hand I need to get through the tougher times 🙂

[On The Road]

Hi Bickie

You are grieving because you don't have time for yourself and feel lost. I'm sorry to hear that sometimes I have similar feelings. One main difference is I'm not good at this and ppl don't really need me. On rare occasions, they would think of me when they need me lol 🙂

I think you did well for being a people person however you may need more time and space for yourself. Animals can offer lots of comforts too. 🐴

I'm also new here, you can stick around and I'm sure there are many supportive people on here. 🙂 Take care!

[quirkywords]

Ummbickie

i think many people reading your post but who don’t rep,y will be nodding in agreement.

I have felt like you especially after dramatic changes in my life. I wonder who I am.

I wrote a thread Be yourself who am I.? , that you may like to browse.
I am glad you joined the forum.
I find that people say be yourself then they tell you how you should change. I find in relationships I spend so much time pleasing others that I wonder where the real me has gone.

Do you keep a journal and is writing down your thoughts helpful

[UMMBICKIE]

Thank you for your replies & support. I suppose I am beating myself up because I have been through all this before and should know how to deal with "it" but it is easy to fall into old patterns when you are at a low. I think just having the opportunity to chat to others that know what you are going through is helpful. My friends say come around for a cuppa & chat which is fine But I live 20km out of town on a property and some days I get panicky just thinking about getting in the car and with all the bad storms lately even more so. I have reached out here because I am sure there will be others that are in a similar situation and just chatting is a huge help when you feel isolated 🙂

[sbella02]

UMMBICKIE,

Thank you so much for posting. What you're saying really speaks to me - I feel like I've lost myself in recent years too, losing my motivation for things that I was once insanely passionate about. And falling into old patterns when you're low, I know exactly what you mean.

It's great to see that you're being proactive in terms of reaching out, what a great start! Acknowledgement and awareness of your feelings is always a fantastic feat.

Quirkywords is right, keeping a journal is a great technique for grounding yourself and understanding your feelings more. Self-reflection through meditation is another technique that I've found helps me too. Opening up a conversation with close friends/family or your partner can also be therapeutic, and you may even find that some people close to you can relate to your experiences or can offer you some tips of their own.

If you find that the professional help you've received isn't the best, you could always change to a different professional. Every psychologist, therapist, counsellor, GP etc. conducts their practice slightly differently, so it may even be useful to try a few people before deciding on somebody who can offer you the best quality of service to meet your specific needs.

I hope this helps you out a little, please feel free to chat some more if you'd like!

All the best, SB

[UMMBICKIE]

Thank you SB, I is hard in rural regional communities getting to see a Dr when you really need one is very hard, waiting times can be weeks, councillors & Professionals in Mental Health are spread thin and are overwhelmed with people needing help in these strange & unfamiliar times. My partner and I also lost a thriving business in January due to not being able to find reliable workers. My partner has had to go back to full time work even though he has rods & pins in his back after to suffering a crush injury in 2014.We also have a hobby farm so I think for me I am finding it hard to adjust to not having him home, (we ran our business from home) and also he know doesn't have time to do things around the property. I feel redundant also as I ran the daily running of the business & now feel my contribution is minimal. I am unable to work due to my MH with anxiety etc. So I am aware what has probably triggered this episode. I have emailed to receive New Acess through Beyond Blue also. So I feel I am doing the right things to help myself. This is just another journey I am going on atm although a bit rough & rocky but with chatted to people like yourself I am not feeling so isolated so thank you for taking the time to respond it is appreciated ❤️