Anxious about posting

[gnosferatu]

Hello everyone, I'm new to this

Don't really have the best idea of where to start but I'll say that I've been dealing with mental health problems on and off since adolescence. It's gotten a lot worse especially during the last 5 or 6 years.

What I'm anxious about is misrepresenting myself and also if what I say can be harmful to others. I was originally planning on posting on the suicidal thoughts forum but was scared maybe if I said the wrong thing I'd make things worse for someone. Maybe even mentioning suicide in this forum is inappropriate. (To be clear I'm safe at the moment and have no intention of harming myself/others)

I think having an interest in philosophy during my teens had a negative affect of on me. Books like The World as Will and Representation and Blood Meridian had completely warped my perception of things and I don't think I gained anything from reading them.

Again even expressing specific thoughts on those books may be harmful, even to myself. I am trying extremely hard to explain but I can't and I worry about being incoherent.

[On The Road]

Good evening gnosferatu

Welcome to the forum 🙂 I understand your worries about misrepresenting yourself, there were several moments that I was so stressed that wanna call all the hotlines (you name it) and have a big talk (or rant). But I held back sometimes because I have to answer some complicated but necessary questions before I get to the duty counsellors (e.g. what is your stress index on a scale of 1 to 10/your suicidal thoughts, etc.) You know I just wanna talk and want some people to be here with me listen to me and not to mention that I don't speak English very well, I was nervous that if I said something confusing police will come to my front door 😂

Luckily I visited this website and this forum, although I didn't share much here for me I feel quite easy. I'm still quite new here and decided to stay for a while.

I don't have the habit of reading. I agree sometimes books are quite destructive, and the contents are perceived by different people in different ways. I tried to read the whole Ulysses (in English) when I was a freshman in college (of course I failed)😂

Feel free to share more, this is a supportive community. 🙂

[Petal22]

Hi gnosferatu,

Wellcome to our forums!

Im sorry that you have been experiencing mental health problems since adolescence, I’m here to listen if you want to tell us more?

Im also sorry that you feel that some books that you have read have warped your perceptions on things……. I understand.

But this can all be challenged…….. perceptions can be changed..

I’m here to listen when you feel ready to tell us more.

[gnosferatu]

Thanks for the response and the welcome. Can really relate to wanting to talk to people and just having them there to listen. I guess everyone feels like that. I was a lot more anxious before and during writing but afterwards it eased off a bit and although I am still not 100% confident I do feel more comfortable here.

Again thank you

[gnosferatu]

Hello and thank you for the response. I really appreciate it.

I don't really have much to say about myself growing up. Not because nothing happened but because I don't think it's very interesting (at least to me).

What you said about challenging things and changing perception is kind of what I was trying to say without saying it in my original post. A rumination of mine I've had stuck in my head is that people don't have agency over their own beliefs, and thus don't have any way of changing them. Beliefs are created through experience and experience is created through environment. You can see what I mean when I say that if I said that to someone that may be harmful to them. As well I think talking about philosophy in a mental health forum would be out of place so I wanted to avoid saying that

[Petal22]

That’s ok gnosferatu, 😊

ok so you have a rumination in your head……. And yes you can challenge this….

Your mind can ruminate as much as it likes……….. it’s the minds job to think……

BUT you are the observer of your thoughts ( of the mind)

You can decide what you believe……

Through meditation I learned to be the observer of my thoughts and not get caught up in them……….. I can now sit back and watch ( observe) what my mind is doing….. and not get caught up in it…have you ever tried meditation?

To challenge your belief

What are the things for the belief?

What are the things against the belief?

Are there any for the belief?

Against the belief……… it’s something that you have read it doesn’t mean it’s true……

It takes a bit of practice……….. please feel free to chat more…

[geoff]

Hello Gnosferatu, whatever we say is something we believe in, others may agree with you while others disagree, but who can we say is in the right, well people all have different opinions and are entitled to change their minds once a topic has been discussed, and the minority may have a better solution to the topic.

No matter what, your idea is warranted and a decision is not only healthy but also helpful because what is said may influence another person and by doing this may be the spark that's needed to improve someone who has been stuck in a routine preventing them from seeing the light.

Don't be afraid.

Geoff.