Another Bad Day - Finally joined up

[Jr24]

Hi,

I have suffered with depression and anxiety since my early teens. I am a 27 and married to a beautiful wife and we have an amazing daughter. I should be happy but this illness has a way of rearing its ugly head.

I just can't seem to enjoy anything or have fun. I am always anxious in social situations, to the point where I'd much prefer to stay at home. I don't have many friends any more due to this.

I feel like i am a terrible father, even though i am always spending time with our daughter when i am not working (I feel like I have to be perfect and beat myself up for not playing all of the time). I even feel guilt when writing this.

I feel like i am always on edge/anxious and get grumpy quite often. I feel like because of this i am letting my family down.

I am constantly stressed at work and feel like other people are talking about me or think i am incompetent, even though past performance/ comments have been positive.

i have gotten help in the past (meds and a few counselling sessions) but did not feel they worked, i think maybe my counsellor wasn't right for me.

I have been having a rough few weeks, it seems to come in waves but this has gotten to the point where i had to reach out and sign up.

thanks for listening and sorry if this is a bit much!

[Just Sara]

Hello and welcome to our caring BB forum JR;

Please don't apologise ok. What you're going thru is very personal and important. It's not just words on a page; we here know this for certain as we were once in your shoes.

I'm wondering if you've been diagnosed by a psychiatrist or your GP. Some of what you describe sounds like anxiety mixed with depression. And please be aware, I'm not a professional, I just want you to know that having both sets of symptoms isn't unusual.

Being anxious in social situations is adrenaline related. Being low and disinterested in life is a lack of feel-good brain chemicals. So when you're prescribed medication to treat one, the other's neglected. This is what I was referring to.

You obviously love your family and want to be the best you can be for all concerned. However, putting your mental health first ensures a better long term outcome and creates a more comfortable mindset.

Please read up on BB's info sheets about the difference between depression symptoms and anxiety symptoms. Also, a Mental Health Care Plan from your GP can provide up to 10 (Medicare rebated) visits with a psychologist which could also help.

I'd love to hear more from you JR. It takes courage and conviction reaching out as you have, so pat yourself on the back ok. Use this platform to shed your fears or worries because it's better than trying to deal with it alone.

Gentle and kind thoughts;

Sez

[Jr24]

Thanks Sez,

Appreciate you reaching out to me and replying. I will read up on the BB info sheets and think i am going to put more of a focus on my mental health now as i sort of have been neglecting it.

i was diagnosed with depression and OCD by my GP/psych and put on a mental health plan. I was a little bit in denial about the diagnosis to be honest in the beginning and didnt focus on the treatment as well as I should've - just continued with things as they were until they built up. Which was not good in hindsight to a point where things became debilitating about 3 years ago.

Things have just become overwhelming again in the past few weeks and think i definitely need to see it through this time,

cheers

[Just Sara]

Really nice to hear back from you so quickly JR;

Now that you've included OCD in the mix, it makes much more sense; thanks for that. Obviously lack of control is a concern for you which probably creates anxiety while out of the house.

Hmm...denial's a reasonable response, but really detrimental long term yeah? Treatment provides as much as you want to put in ok. The psych contributes their expertise, but it's you who does the work.

Tricking your brain into feeling more comfortable; for instance, tapping your knees as you count to 3, might be enough to settle those impulses and satisfy your brain's yearnings. Not sure if this could work, it just popped into my head.

I have a real 'thing' about tricking the brain. It helped me win over my anxiety and situations I found difficult.

Anyway, gotta go. Dinner's cooking.

Great to see you back and on a mission to self mastery again!

Cheers...Sez