Anger and Frustration

[Flowerchild07]

I've suffered from depression for around 30 years. I've managed to keep it under control with medication and therapy, however since I started my volunteer position about 5 months ago I have felt so much better. I volunteered in an aged care facility. I felt I had a purpose, I was giving back to the community, it kept me occupied 3 days a week and I met some great people. I have now left the position because the family of one of the residents made a complaint about my becoming overly friendly with their loved one. A staff member also reported me for the same thing. I wasn't fired, but I was reprimanded because we are supposed to report to our superiors if and when we think a resident is becoming overly reliant on us. I didn't report it because I was his confidant, and I knew he really needed someone to talk to. Of course it was wrong of me, but the fact that I'm an empath clouded my judgement and I just wanted to help him. I made the decision to leave because I thought it was the best thing for the gentleman concerned. He still asks about me, I know he misses me and I feel guilty that I put him in this position. I miss him too. Anyway, my problem is that besides feeling depressed again, I am beginning to feel a lot of anger. I'm angry with life. I get angry and feel frustrated at things that go wrong. Even if it's just the smallest thing. I don't really have anyone to talk to about this and to be honest I don't have the will or energy to organise counselling sessions. Anyone else dealing with anger as part of the depression?

[Flowerchild07]

Hi again Tim.

I didn't answer your question about providing an example of something that makes me angry. It can be, and usually is something very small.....like dropping something on the floor, or banging in to something and only slightly hurting myself. I feel really angry and immediately start swearing. It's the anger and frustration are bubbling away just under the surface, and the minute the slightest thing goes wrong, I lose my shit and start swearing and cursing. Anger is a common symptom of depression, so I guess it's no big surprise.

Thanks again for your advice and concern, it is truly appreciated.

[smallwolf]

Sorry about the delay in responding...

firstly, while I find reframing my thoughts somewhat easy, believing in the alternative is difficult for me. And for that I have homework to do - and I have been to my psychologist for a couple of years. So I can sort of understand what you mean when you describe the difficulties you have with it.

I am unsure where the boundaries start and end in your line of work. It sounds as though the family thought you might have overstepped the boundary. While you probably did not, perceptions .....

Given that you have lived with depression for 30 years, are you able to use whatever coping tools and strategies you have picked up when you think/know you will be triggered? There there threads on the forums here on grounding you could look at also.

How was your weekend?

Tim

[Guest_4643]

Hi Flowerchild07, welcome to the forums. Love your username and awesome that you're a Blue Voices Member so congrats on that.

I'm sorry to hear about all of that, wow, sounds tough especially when you seemed to be enjoying your time there. I don't see how you were overly friendly with that person you mentioned though - as you said, you're just empathetic and that's just your caring nature? I think it's sweet that you were there for him and other residents because they needed someone to talk to, I don't see any problem with that so I'm so sorry that you've been treated like that.

I've also volunteered in aged care for 2 years when i was in high school, I enjoyed it but certain stuff made me sad and heartbroken. I often remincinse and think about the staff and patients there and that I'm thankful to have had the opportunities to do that.

I think you're a lovely, caring person and like me, you're sensitive and empathetic, and I think that's a good thing, because it means you have a good heart and there's nothing wrong with that at all. But unfortunately as I know myself, people with good hearts and empaths can get hurt easily, but I think it was brave of you to join the forums and share your story, so good on you.

I hope you're doing alright, I'm here if you need me, I'll do my best to support you. I think it was still lovely of you to volunteer either way although I'm sad for you to hear about your struggles from it, but like I said, you were courageous enough to join the forums and post, and to volunteer, so well done, those are two huge achievements.

Love and hugs, take care and be safe.

Tayla xx

[Flowerchild07]

Hi Tim.

I had a pretty good weekend, made sure I kept myself busy. Took my niece and nephew to the movies, did a bit of babysitting and went to see my niece's dance performance at the Yarraville Festival on Sunday.

How was your weekend?

Yes, I overstepped the boundaries by not adhering to the rules and regulations, but I don't feel it was the wrong thing to bring a bit of sunshine into the life of someone who really needed a friend who they could trust and who was there for them when they needed support.

Thanks so much for your understanding and support. I truly appreciate it. Keep me updated on how things are going for you. How have you been feeling lately?

[Flowerchild07]

Thank you for your kind words Tayla. I'm really touched by your offer to support me. I would love to keep in touch. Tell me a little bit about yourself and what's been going on with you.

Hugs

Sue xx

[Guest_4643]

Hi Flowerchild07. You're welcome for the kind words and thanks for the nice words back.

Sorry for taking so long to reply, I had a break from the forums but I'm back now.

Well I have some of my own threads around if you'd like to check them out if you're still around, up to you though. I'm 20 for one thing, and don't have much support, just my Psychiatrist but I just changed GPs.

Hugs back, and apologies for taking ages to reply xx

Tayla