Alone & Lonely

[Lucylu75]

Gosh, this is so hard. Depression, bipolar & anxiety have been a part of my life for over 30 years. I'm now 45 & although I have a great job, wonderful family & a nice place to live, I have never felt more lonely than I do right now.

I've never married or had children; my mental illnesses have certainly contributed to that. I don't want to be alone, but I also can't imagine someone wanting & able to be with me with all my 'baggage'. I feel like the Black Dog & his friends have taken away any chance for me to have a 'normal' life/relationship & now I'm angry & overwhelmingly sad that time has passed & it's too late. I've never asked for much, just a simple, quiet life with someone beside me that loves & accepts me for who I am. It hurts.

[Sophie_M]

Hey Lucylu75,

Wishing you a warm welcome to the forums. It takes a lot of courage to be so open and honest with your feelings, and we are so glad that you have reached out here. We can hear how lonely and overwhelmed that you're feeling, but please know that you've come to a safe space, free of judgement, and our community is here to help support you through this difficult time.

If you feel up to it, we'd also encourage you to reach out to our Beyond Blue Support Service, which is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support and advice to help you through this.

You are not alone here, and we hope that you can find some comfort in the words of support and kindness from our wonderful community.

[Tay100]

Hi Lucylu75

Thanks for reaching out- we know that can be hard to do when you are feeling down and overwhelmed. It can feel never-ending when mental health issues get in the way of what we want to achieve, or good things we want to have in our lives- things we all definitely deserve. You aren't alone in feeling this way, or this experience. The forum is a great place to share your story, find connections, and seek out support and meaningful ways of moving forward and coping from people who understand how hard it can be. I second everything Sophie_M said. Feel free to update us if you wish.

Tay100

[Lucylu75]

Thank you, Tay & Sophie, I really appreciate your words. I can see by this forum I am far from alone & you are doing a great job.

[Tay100]

Hi Lucylu75

It's no worries at all, we are glad you could make it back here. You are right, you are far from alone, and help is never far away- the forum is a great resource. If you'd like help navigating please just let us know.

Tay100

[Izzieste]

Hi Lucyly75,

I can imagine how you feel. I also feel like my lifelong mental health issues (which I've only been learning about in the last few years and are progressively getting worse instead of better) have had and are still having a detrimental impact on many aspects of my life. I've always felt like I was different from everyone else and could never really relate to them. I'm in my forties now, single, no kids, family overseas, hardly any friends and I spend most of my time alone, which makes me feel even further disconnected. I also feel like it's hard to make friends and date with this much baggage and I am sure we are not the only ones.

[Lucylu75]

Hello Izzieste, thank you so much for your post. As much as I would never want anyone else to feel how I feel, it helps to know I am not alone.

[Kiwi81]

Hi Lucylu75

Thank you for being brave enough to voice your story. I'm new to this forum, but feel like your story resonates with me. I'm currently away from family overseas , with no way to get home in a hurry, and even though I am with my partner of 7 years, I feel incredibly lonely. My anxiety and depression is hard to keep under control, and I put on a brave face to work colleagues and my family, but the stress and pressure is sometimes so overwhelming! I feel like I cant talk to my partner either, so am bottling it all up inside. Im nearing 40 and desperately want children, but there are so many obstacles in my way, that are out of my control, and I feel so helpless. My partner suffers from ED, so I'm dealing with feelings of rejection and being unloved, on top of missing my chances of motherhood - I'm so angry at this, but can't show it, as i want to be supportive - but it is ruining any last bit of self esteem I have left. without my family for support, i feel like I'm drowning, and don't know what to do.

I guess it makes it easier knowing there are other smart, brave people out there dealing with similar issues, and that we are not alone. Everyone has baggage, and it always feels heavier when you cant share it with others. Even though I am in a partnership, I still feel so lonely, and am doing all the heavy lifting, its exhausting and sometimes I wonder if it is worth it. people put on a front too, making out that their relationships are perfect, but behind closed doors, a lot are suffering in silence.

Keep working on yourself, and remind yourself everyday that you matter and make a difference in others lives, even if you are not aware of it 💛