Welcome to Beyond Blue. You should find this a safe place post and rest assured that you will not be judged by anyone here. Secondly, it is a big step to come here and write what you did. It shows that you recognise a problem exists, and now you are searching for a solution or answers. So lets go through the post a little...
Where or how to you start your story is your decision entirely. It made sense to me! Sometimes we might start in the middle, and then as the post more, you might eventually identify and write about the starting point etc. Unless you tell us it is the starting point, readers here will only consider it as another post from you - without judgement. And respond accordingly.
Losing friends is always painful. Different people grieve in different ways. Do you have anyone that you can lean on, or talk to about what you are going through? Family members?
Next, I think that you need to work out your issues. You send that you ended up in hospital. Ultimately, you need to try to the work on the breakup in a healthy way - if that is possible. By that, I mean through writing, or exercise or whatever. And if need be, via a counselor.
This is a marathon we are all in here. There is no real quick fix. When you are or feel ready, come back and post some more. Others and/or myself will listen to what you have to say and be with you on this journey. We are all here to help each other.
Peace to you.
