A question for our new members (and regulars too 😊).

[Quercus]

Hi everyone,

I've been thinking lately about inclusion on the forums and wondering...

What it is like to be a newbie on the forums?

Anyone feel like answering?

In the offline world we all deal with cliques. And feeling like we don't fit in or belong sometimes.

When I joined the forums I remember seeing members with thousands of posts and people greeting eachother like old friends.

I wanted so badly to feel like part of this community. I know I'm not alone... Sometimes I see a thread where someone is disheartened by a lack of response.

My question (sorry for the waffling) ...

What helped you to feel welcome here?

Here is my list (yep quite keen on lists)

• For newbies start your own thread in welcome/orientation. If you post your story in a social thread or someone else's thread you'll get lost in the system.
• On that note... Try not to make multiple threads on the same topic. If you are finding you need support speak up in the social threads or in a thread you contribute to a bit... Give the title of your thread and ask if someone will come have a chat.
• Read the rules and the posts in the welcome orientation section. Seems obvious but I don't think everyone does... And there is a lot of useful stuff in there!
• Remember the forums are not immediate. If you need immediate help there are the support numbers. Everyone on here is just like you (voluntarily contributing and dealing with a mental illness) so if you flood the forums with posts getting angry or upset about a delay in response or a post held up in moderation people tend to get overwhelmed and upset too. The helplines are there for a reason please use them 😊.
• Take the time to respond. There is nothing worse that writing a reply and then the new user never comes back online. There isn't a notification system. You've got to log on and check. Please do.
• Write to others. You don't have to know what to say. Or have advice. Sometimes it is just nice to have someone aknowledge you or to know someone is listening.

Enough waffling from me.... What does everyone else think?

Nat

[Quercus]

Hi LTH 😊

I missed your post earlier... All valid points! I said on my very first post I felt like I had no right to be depressed and it is a common theme for all of us... Feeling like our story is somehow less important or valuable. Not so!

I'm not quite able to cope with your thread right now (triggers are horrible hey) but I admire you.

If you ever decide to change your name just shout out and I'll forward you the email. It makes me feel sad if you truly see yourself that way. Whenever I see LTH I think of the Rob Zombie song More Human Than Human (awesome song!).

[Mia001]

Hi Quercus,

I'm happy that my reply was helpful. 😊

I love my new thread name too! Its ok that you haven't read it yet. It does mention sexual abuse and suicidal thoughts so it might be triggering.

Mia

[Flick_SnotGrass]

Hi Quercus,

Glad you like my brand of humo(u)r 😉 thanx ... I'm an exiled Pommie-Canuck, cursed to live on "The Goldie".... but happy to report my Ocker is coming along nicely. [I'm taking "Bogan for Absolute Beginners", in a weak's thyme too.]

Quercus, I absolutely will start my own thread, just as soon as I can sort out how to do that....

cheers,

Flick

[Quercus]

Hi again Flick,

Forgive me I'm still trying to translate some of that 😊. Keeps my mind occupied so thanks!

If you hit the tab 'all threads' then click the category 'welcome orientation' you'll see a blue button at the top saying create new thread. Hope that helps 😊

What on earth is the goldies? Goldfields in WA? I'm lost. Love it.

[blondguy]

Hey Nat 🙂

It comes as no surprise to me that you have written such a crackerjack thread. Excellent!!

You have covered so many great points Nat that will assist so many

Just a couple of points that may help new and existing posters if thats okay....

• Lengthy paragraphs can be very difficult to absorb with depression/anxiety. I try to answer them but its a huge brain drain as my concentration is limited as per having depression and being on AD's for 21 years. Whenever possible I try to use frequent paragraph breaks to let a 'tired mind' understand my threads/posts
• When I joined the forums in January last year I was surprised how many senior posters didnt say hello in the BB Cafe (even without expecting a response). Being a newbie I found it odd that there was no input from CC's. I dont post as frequently in the Cafe as it goes like a rocket. Just saying hello in the Cafe or The Circle is a huge booster for the new people that are trying to build up their confidence to write their first thread
• I joined the forums when I was suffering from serious clinical depression and I didnt have the confidence to create my own thread. Sometimes people have to earn the forums' trust prior to posting their own thread.. Its a huge step for people that are faltering with a mental illness.

Thanks for the great thread topic Nat. Its a great vehicle for all new and existing posters 🙂

My Kind Thoughts

Paul

[Quercus]

Thanks Paul,

As always solid points! And thanks for getting the thread 'back on track' too by the way 😊

I like how you mentioned trusting the forums. It is a huge deal to put yourself out in the public space. And hope that people like you or care enough to respond. Especially when you're vulnerable already.

So I agree the need for inclusion and welcome is vital here. I love seeing new users welcome other new members best of all. Nothing says I belong here by showing someone else around 😊.

There are a lot of people who don't create a thread right away (Quirky and Velvet come to mind... Hi ladies!) and others like me who just read silently for a long time incapable of speaking out until I had some relief from my MI. We're all different... But here with a common goal.

P.S. Mammoth paragraphs arrrrgh! I'm big on lists and dot points too.

[blondguy]

Hey Nat, I just thought it would be important for you to know what I went through when I joined the forums as a very depressed and nervous newbie.

You have always kept an 'eye open' for the people that are doing it hard on the forums. Your thread is a one of the best I have read since I have been posting on the forums

Just to let you know I posted a thread about paragraph blocks just after I joined...I know that many posters...new or existing dont have an issue with answering mammoth paragraphs. I just seem to have an issue with my concentration (or lack thereof) where reading mega paragraphs are concerned. I just have difficulty with absorbing the content

You have always done so well where self expression is concerned. User friendly bullet points as well as providing the paragraph breaks that invite people to not only read but have a clear understanding of the TLC you have to offer

Thankyou again Nat for creating such a positive and very necessary thread topic. Nice1 🙂

My Kindest. Paul

[Quercus]

Hi Paul and anyone else reading 😊

Paul to steal one of your favourite sayings (because you're awesome)...This is GOLD...

I just thought it would be important for you to know what I went through when I joined the forums as a very depressed and nervous newbie.

Thank you.

To anyone reading this is the purpose of this thread. A space to talk about what makes you feel welcome.

I worry sometimes that we as a forum community start to feel safe, comfortable and familiar here (and as such unconsciously make the forums uninviting to others).

Considering we are a community of people who have or are struggling the last thing we want is to isolate someone who needs help.

Is there a newbie out there or someone quietly reading who feels able to help me out? What do we do well? More importantly... What can we do better to encourage inclusiveness?

I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences.

Nat

[loouuiiee]

What made me feel welcome was reading about and hearing from people who actually know how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking. Ill read other people's threads and feel connected to them because I have felt like that or been through that before, or it hits home to me because that is how I have been feeling recently and I feel like I can relate and it inspires me to want to make a difference and try to help. If I cant help I at least want that person to know they are not alone, and that's what these forums do for me also.

Another thing that made me feel welcome is that everyone is very understanding, and even if they don't understand the situation or the emotion they are still genuine and honest in their responses and always willing to offer advice or moral support.

Just hearing from people who understand how it feels to have depression and anxiety, in a world where I feel I always have to put on a brave face, made me feel very welcomed and also validated and less alone.

[White_Rose]

Hello Loouuiiee

That was a great response. I am so pleased that newcomers feel welcomed here. I think everyone knows the value of talking with someone who 'gets' them.

It's true we do not understand everyone's situation immediately however much we try, but it usually becomes clear as we exchange posts. What I always hope for is what you have expressed,the replies are genuine and honest and we do care very much about everyone here.

Thanks for your reply.

Mary