A question for our new members (and regulars too 😊).

[Quercus]

Hi everyone,

I've been thinking lately about inclusion on the forums and wondering...

What it is like to be a newbie on the forums?

Anyone feel like answering?

In the offline world we all deal with cliques. And feeling like we don't fit in or belong sometimes.

When I joined the forums I remember seeing members with thousands of posts and people greeting eachother like old friends.

I wanted so badly to feel like part of this community. I know I'm not alone... Sometimes I see a thread where someone is disheartened by a lack of response.

My question (sorry for the waffling) ...

What helped you to feel welcome here?

Here is my list (yep quite keen on lists)

• For newbies start your own thread in welcome/orientation. If you post your story in a social thread or someone else's thread you'll get lost in the system.
• On that note... Try not to make multiple threads on the same topic. If you are finding you need support speak up in the social threads or in a thread you contribute to a bit... Give the title of your thread and ask if someone will come have a chat.
• Read the rules and the posts in the welcome orientation section. Seems obvious but I don't think everyone does... And there is a lot of useful stuff in there!
• Remember the forums are not immediate. If you need immediate help there are the support numbers. Everyone on here is just like you (voluntarily contributing and dealing with a mental illness) so if you flood the forums with posts getting angry or upset about a delay in response or a post held up in moderation people tend to get overwhelmed and upset too. The helplines are there for a reason please use them 😊.
• Take the time to respond. There is nothing worse that writing a reply and then the new user never comes back online. There isn't a notification system. You've got to log on and check. Please do.
• Write to others. You don't have to know what to say. Or have advice. Sometimes it is just nice to have someone aknowledge you or to know someone is listening.

Enough waffling from me.... What does everyone else think?

Nat

[MsPurple]

Good thread idea 🙂

I remember when I first used the 'main forums' (I started as a blueVoice member) I didn't know what to say. I can't remember if I posted in the welcome section, because I had already done something like that in the bV section. It also took me a little while to realise that the 'my thread' tab went for multiple pages. haha

[Quercus]

Hi Mia,

That is exactly the kind of response I was after... Thank you!

I felt the same! It was just about sticking it out and persevering until you felt comfortable. PS I still haven't been able to read your thread yet sorry (I suspect there will be triggers) but I liked the name change.

[startingnew]

Im not a newbie but ive only been here for 6 months and can remember quite well being new here.


What is it like to be a newbie on the forums?


The first time I got came on here, I was in such a state I only made one thread and commenting something really simple. 'im really struggling'
little did I know that I would still be here now and helping others through the wonderful support I have received from others the first time I was here.
It took a little bit to get use to be here. I didnt realise how big these forums were, so mnay threads, so many people, so many situations and difficulties and stories.
Where do I start?
I started off by venturing to some of the small threads. Ones that only had one or 2 posts to them and eventually worked up to going to slightly bigger threads then being able to get to thread of those who support me.
It was so daunting being here, the unknown, the security features and how safe it was being here, worrying how friendly others were but slowly I got use to being here and now
theres now way im leaving!




What helped me to feel welcome here?
It was the welcoming and gentle responses I received when I first started here. Of course its been up and down but the reason I was able to become more confident in being here was other members being so friendly and supportive of what I was going through

i think your list of ideas and features to guide newbies around the forums are really good, i cant think of anything else to add to that so great work

[less_than_human]

Hello Quercus,

For me personally, the hardest thing I found, was knowing where to post without breaking the rules or offending anyone.

The second hardest thing, was spending time reading through other people's issues and concluding that my own problems were somehow trivial. One person in particular has helped point out that it doesn't help that to compare, but that's just how I felt before I posted. On the back of that, the third hardest thing is to not have an anxiety attack after disclosing personal and sensitive information.

I too noticed the number count on some people's posts and the community spirit, with people acting like long lost friends, which kind of made me ask myself am I in the right place, but I think it also made me feel like I could be myself a little, seeing other people being so friendly to each other, which is kind of strange to me.

Hope that helps.

LHT

[White_Rose]

I always knew you were a smart girl. This is a great thread.

Mary

[Quercus]

Yes MsP!

I felt so bad the day I worked out there were multiple pages too! I had replies waiting that I hadn't seen! Was so embarrassed.

Note to newbies... if you click on my threads the threads you commented on list over multiple pages. And for reasons I've never quite worked out (acts of God I assume) there can be a thread on the last page that has a new post but hasn't gone to the top of the list. So in the words of Mad Eye 'constant vigilance' 😊 (Harry Potter fan here sorry).

[Julz01]

I love your suggestions Quercus

As a newbie I still feel a bit on the outer. I read threads & think I have something to contribute but than others have made amazing suggestions. I just have to get the hang of things a bit more & get more confident. I joined because I had come so far & thought I could make meaningful contributions. The last few weeks I have had a setback & the support has been great.

i am a bit shy with the social forums because everyone seems to already know everyone but again I have to be a bit more confident.

Julz

[Quercus]

Hi Julz 😊

I will get to comment on your thread... Every time I go to my daughter vomits again. Sigh. It's one of those days.

You'll get there Julz... Give it 6 months and you'll feel like a regular 😊.

Starting New was saying the same thing about taking time to feel confident (Hi SN!). See that badge of hers? Valued Contributer? Means even if she didn't feel confident she quietly went about helping and supporting people. There are a few VCs around (Mrs Dools is another).

Not everyone feels good about putting themselves in the deep end (I don't go to the cafe a lot it overwhelms me sometimes). And that's ok too. The point is just do what you can even if it's just saying hello 😊

[startingnew]

hi Nat

thank you for your kind words. its really honouring to have this badge. it really is!

im another one that finds being in the cafes overwhelming sometimes too, i pop in everynow and then and have a conversation but when things move quick they really move and i cant keep up so i step out unless a question is directed at me.

its all about what works for you/us too and what were comfortable with

[velvetfaerie]

Hello Quercus..... interesting...when I get a sense of the people posting in threads then I dive in...... I am bit reserved at first but once I get a feel, I'm all in.

Some threads I read on here I'm not quite sure what to post if anything so I don't in case I have my foot meet my mouth. I would hate to upset anyone accidentally.., ah well I've done it!!! So I learnt my lesson when to shut up and use proper punctuation!!!

You guys rock

🌈🌈❤️❤️✨✨