A question for our new members (and regulars too 😊).

[Quercus]

Hi everyone,

I've been thinking lately about inclusion on the forums and wondering...

What it is like to be a newbie on the forums?

Anyone feel like answering?

In the offline world we all deal with cliques. And feeling like we don't fit in or belong sometimes.

When I joined the forums I remember seeing members with thousands of posts and people greeting eachother like old friends.

I wanted so badly to feel like part of this community. I know I'm not alone... Sometimes I see a thread where someone is disheartened by a lack of response.

My question (sorry for the waffling) ...

What helped you to feel welcome here?

Here is my list (yep quite keen on lists)

• For newbies start your own thread in welcome/orientation. If you post your story in a social thread or someone else's thread you'll get lost in the system.
• On that note... Try not to make multiple threads on the same topic. If you are finding you need support speak up in the social threads or in a thread you contribute to a bit... Give the title of your thread and ask if someone will come have a chat.
• Read the rules and the posts in the welcome orientation section. Seems obvious but I don't think everyone does... And there is a lot of useful stuff in there!
• Remember the forums are not immediate. If you need immediate help there are the support numbers. Everyone on here is just like you (voluntarily contributing and dealing with a mental illness) so if you flood the forums with posts getting angry or upset about a delay in response or a post held up in moderation people tend to get overwhelmed and upset too. The helplines are there for a reason please use them 😊.
• Take the time to respond. There is nothing worse that writing a reply and then the new user never comes back online. There isn't a notification system. You've got to log on and check. Please do.
• Write to others. You don't have to know what to say. Or have advice. Sometimes it is just nice to have someone aknowledge you or to know someone is listening.

Enough waffling from me.... What does everyone else think?

Nat

[Flick_SnotGrass]

Hi Nat,

No it wasn't a joke, the strength of the BB platform is that everyone can feel safe...the downside of BB is I can't send you a regular email, especially once I thought you may have gone awol for a bit, just to say "Hi" and let you know you had friends in the wings.

Make sense?

I just don't know 'The BB Rules'

Anyway, you are back HOORAY!

Flick

[Flick_SnotGrass]

Hello Lady Mary of the White Rose,

Great name btw...

Yes, I am a Goons fan....when we were returning to Blighty from Singapore in 1959, aboard the MS Wilhelm Ruys, we landed in Sydney before we headed off to Wellington, Kiwiland.

Spike had just finished his ABC Tour which we had listened to on the Shortwave in Singapore ...amazingly funny.

That afternoon my Mum says to me "Guess whose on board?"

'Walt Disney?'

"Nope"

'Spike Milligan?'

"Yes, he's in cabin 187"

Now 187 was in 1st Class and we were travelling steerage ... so I had to swagger past the barriers, through 2nd Class and thru into 1st Class and then find Stateroom 187.

I found it.

But then what?

I skulked around outside the door for what seemed like forever and Spike's steward came to the door and found me there and he asked me what i wanted.

"To ask Spike Milligan for his autograph ... please sir...godblessyou Sir" touching my forelock.

'I'll see if he will see you'

..and he did....

I spent all that afternoon with him and a couple of his friends....he was gracious and I got to go through the Panama Canal with him on the big top foredeck and during the next month he let me hang out with him and from time to time he would teach me a few voice tricks....he could see I was keen on 'funny voices', I can do a quite passable Bombay Welsh, Glaswegian, Tamil and Chinese English accents....he showed me how to hold my mouth, chin and lips to 'get' Bluebottle et al.

Great voice teacher...not a 'happy' guy though, I could tell that.

Funny does not equal Happy, I discovered.

FS

[blondguy]

Hey Flick!

always a treat to see you 🙂 I understand your question about the emails which is a good one. I had the same question when I joined in January last year.

The aim of the forums (to offer people support in safe place where they can post anonymously) would be compromised if this was enabled unfortunately. The BB Community Rules link is above in a red highlighted text...If you click on 'read our community rules' its all there. (top of your page underneath 'Online Forums')

Just off topic....I was more into 'Lost in Space' than the goons 😉 The goons did get my dad and many others laughing though!

Great to have you as part of the Beyond Blue forum family Flick!

My Best as always

Paul

[Flick_SnotGrass]

Hey blondguy, that's what I figured, thanks for the info, really appreciate it Mark...well there's only one thing for it I'm afraid Quercus just can't be allowed to scare me like that, she has to keep us company .... she laughs at my JOKES for Baal's sake. FS

[Quercus]

Hi Flick,

(And thanks Paul I didn't even think of that unfortunately... Just proves even CCs are utterly human... Thanks moderators 😊).

I'm not going anywhere. Please don't worry. I've got a solid support network offline and know what I need to do. I am safe.

It is hard to accept that people need help and to feel helpless but please remember you are not responsible. If we are concerned we report a post and keep writing but your priority has to be YOU.

Your humour helps. I do read even if there are few words 😊. Thankyou for caring.

❤ Nat

PS A warm welcome to any new members reading. Please be patient for replies (as you can see we are people with MI supporting others in the same boat). There is understanding here for sure and genuine support. But it takes time because we all have to look after our own health too. If you need an immediate response please don't wait.... Call the helplines ok.

[UsedToBeAnOptimist]

Thanks so much, you guys are awesome! This is not scary at all haha!

I have a really supportive network of family and friends but I feel a bit isolated because none of them really understand what I'm going through, that's why I thought I'd try this.

Thanks for taking the time to reply (and find my thread)!

[Quercus]

Hi UsedToBeAnOptimist 😊

I'm glad to hear you feel less scared. When I joined I felt a bit intimidated by the regular members too. It is hard to feel comfortable to jump into a conversation when it feels like everyone knows eachother.

But the reality is we don't know everyone. You can be on the forums for a year and still not have read about or written to all the members. It's not possible to maintain that many conversations.

So really you (as a new member) are no different to someone who has been here for years in terms of joining in. Everyone feels awkward at times (especially me... I've just given up being embarrassed about it 😊).

I'm glad to hear you have good offline support. I think being able to relate to and speak openly to others about MI is something we all struggle with offline. That's the beauty of the forums... We practice talking about mental illness openly. For me it made it easier to talk about it offline too. Do you think it will help you too?

❤ Nat

PS. No worries about the reply... I usually try a search when someone writes on my threads... I want to learn more and it is a nice feeling when someone does that for me so I like to do it too.

[Flick_SnotGrass]

Thanx Nat, Flick

[krystalramone]

Hi Nat,

thank you for the warm welcome! I started a thread called Newbie, I am really hoping to connect to people via the forum. As I am finding it very difficult to in my day to day life due to my anxiety.

krystalramone

[Just Sara]

Hey and welcome Krystal and shout out to UsedToBeAnOptimist; 🙂

It's great to see you guys engaging and fighting the good fight. It also might help you both to know each time you post, people read your comments and get insight out of it.

You've both reminded me how important it is to remember what newbies go thru. I'm sure others will concur. It takes courage to post your first post, then more courage to join others. So congratulations for taking a huge leap of faith!

BB forum can be full of pain, hurt, trauma and struggle. But it's also a place to sigh with relief, cheer for our success, learn and learn and learn, then laugh; really laugh out loud.

In time, personalities begin to surface; this is from feeling accepted, safe and validated for being of all things...flawed. How wonderful is that?

BeyondBlue members ROCK!!!

Kind thoughts;

Sez xo