A question for our new members (and regulars too 😊).

[Quercus]

Hi everyone,

I've been thinking lately about inclusion on the forums and wondering...

What it is like to be a newbie on the forums?

Anyone feel like answering?

In the offline world we all deal with cliques. And feeling like we don't fit in or belong sometimes.

When I joined the forums I remember seeing members with thousands of posts and people greeting eachother like old friends.

I wanted so badly to feel like part of this community. I know I'm not alone... Sometimes I see a thread where someone is disheartened by a lack of response.

My question (sorry for the waffling) ...

What helped you to feel welcome here?

Here is my list (yep quite keen on lists)

• For newbies start your own thread in welcome/orientation. If you post your story in a social thread or someone else's thread you'll get lost in the system.
• On that note... Try not to make multiple threads on the same topic. If you are finding you need support speak up in the social threads or in a thread you contribute to a bit... Give the title of your thread and ask if someone will come have a chat.
• Read the rules and the posts in the welcome orientation section. Seems obvious but I don't think everyone does... And there is a lot of useful stuff in there!
• Remember the forums are not immediate. If you need immediate help there are the support numbers. Everyone on here is just like you (voluntarily contributing and dealing with a mental illness) so if you flood the forums with posts getting angry or upset about a delay in response or a post held up in moderation people tend to get overwhelmed and upset too. The helplines are there for a reason please use them 😊.
• Take the time to respond. There is nothing worse that writing a reply and then the new user never comes back online. There isn't a notification system. You've got to log on and check. Please do.
• Write to others. You don't have to know what to say. Or have advice. Sometimes it is just nice to have someone aknowledge you or to know someone is listening.

Enough waffling from me.... What does everyone else think?

Nat

[startingnew]

HI Nat

I havent really been online that much. I havent been on many threads if any in the day at all. Yesterday i was on my thread and the MH week thread.

I figure if i dont have enough energy to even help myself then i cant help others so as much as it upsets me i just stay away. Most of the threads im on have a few other members and are handling it fine.

im not really on many social threads and am rarely on them an occassional pop in.

When im ok and the days i have the energy i respond to a few other threads for about an hour or so then log out to reserve energy.

Thanks for caring and listening ❤

[Quercus]

Hi SN,

I replied on your thread I hope that's ok. I think your approach (do what you can when you feel able) is a healthy way to manage time on the forums. 😊

I noticed you wrote on your thread you don't feel like you belong here or offline. Can I reassure you? Your voice is appreciated and very welcome here. But I am curious can you pinpoint anything that's made you feel like that?

❤ Nat

[Quercus]

Hello to everyone (and a warm welcome to all new members),

My thought of the day... Which threads are the best place for new members to join in the conversation?

My favourites for today (there are so many awesome threads to choose from)

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/be-yourself-but-who-am-i-/page/24#qn31pHHzvGGEbv8AAOnT_A

This thread started by Quirkywords is very welcoming. Quirky tends to ask a new question every day and thrives on learning about what other people think 😊.
Bonus... Her questions help you think about your own life. I love this thread.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/get-to-know-you

Another great thread. This one was started by SN (Starting New) and is a good place to get to know a little about the people on the forums. Best of all for newbies it's an easy place to gently meet some other members.

Please keep in mind it's in the social zone (so keep topics light). But for those who find the BB Cafe a bit overwhelming this is another option.

My point is... There are so many welcoming threads.

Long threads aren't always as intimidating as they seem. You don't have to read the whole lot. First page to see what it's about... Last page to see where the discussion is at 😊.

Skip clicking on "new posts" and check out the categories that interest you.

Most of all... Just join in 😊 Your voice is important too.

Nat

[startingnew]

Hi Nat yes that's fine. Ill check there later on today though. But thank you.

Its not the members here making me feel like that. Not at all everyone here is great.

I think its just me at the moment. Im feeling pretty useless because of lack of energy or lack of concentration. I just cant seem to get the words out or ill read the post/s to catch up on the latest and i just draw up blank.

Im sure ill be back to normal soon enough. Its just a rough patch at the moment.

Im really glad you like the thread i started. I find most of the cafes to be overwhelming but wanted to get to know other members on a more personal level. Im glad others like that thread also.

Xoxoxo

[Quercus]

Hi everyone (and hello and welcome to our new members).

I wanted to introduce everyone to another favourite thread if that's ok?

The Bouquet thread by Sara.

Forums / Staying well / A Bouquet for Pearls

I love this thread.

It's not everyone's cup of tea (Hi Dory 😊) but I found it useful as a new member.

Sometimes we doubt whether anyone is reading. Or cares when we make an effort to help eachother. This is a positive feedback thread. I found it helpful to read what sort of things have really helped other members.

Shout out to Dragonflies who has a message waiting there 😊

❤ Nat

[Just Sara]

Hey Nat and all posting/reading!

This thread is amazing and deserving of Kudos! Well done and keep up the great work!

I just wanted to discuss 'pressing the helpful button'. As a first time poster way back in the day, seeing numbers rise on my red button gave me a feeling of encouragement and acknowledgement.

Many times I see newbies buttons at zero even after several responses and immediately press it to let them know they're heard and validated. I know it says 'helpful', but to me back then it meant 'liked'.

It's a habit I've continued to date, and do see some who do it as well. Maybe we could up the anti and give thanks more often?

I still press that red button in most instances to alert people I'm listening and appreciate their words; not just newbies either. I appreciate you all! 🙂

Kind thoughts;

Sez xo

[startingnew]

I press 'like' on almost every post i read. 🙂

[Quercus]

Hi Sara 😊

What a good point... It is really important that we acknowledge eachother. Thanks for raising this!

I'm like SN... I mark helpful a LOT.

I click helpful on other replies because I respect that they took the time to write to someone even if their view and mine are different 😊.

Seeing that someone has marked your post as helpful is a wonderful inclusive feeling.... The only thing better is a reply 😊.

❤ Nat

PS Sara I resurrected Dottie's thread on Body Image... Would love your input if you feel able some time (and anybody reading!). There is a very interesting reply by Swtpotato (yep I hit helpful on it 😊).

[Quercus]

Hello to everyone and to our new members especially!

Today I read this... from member Unbeliever and wanted to share it....

I think perhaps we are forgetting what it was like to be "first timers".
They are already nervous about posting here, a lot of them have overwhelming anxiety, self-dislike internal dialogue or are just simply desperate for a response from anyone to know they aren't abnormal in some way.

And the number of posts of first timers that I've read that have not yet had a response, but have been sitting there for a while... and I know that I do not have the relevant experience with what they are specifically dealing with so any response I can think of seems inappropriate.

Sums up beautifully how I felt as a newbie and then as a reasonably new member trying to decide if I could or should reply to others.

The post then goes on to describe waiting and refreshing and logging in and still after 6 hours not having a reply. And yes I'm sure a lot of us relate to that too.

And then I thought hmmm there are things new users need to know about this.....

• 6 hours for a reply is actually quite a good response rate. Doesn't feel like it but if you need immediate help that is what the helplines are for. Please use them if you need support urgently.
• Some posts get a quick reply... Others take a while. If there is no reply after 48 hours I would suggest adding another post to your thread. This will bump it to the top of the "new posts". Your post may have been missed (there are systems in place but human error happens).
• There are many factors involved in replies such as who is online at any given time. What are their experiences? Do they have triggers which make them unable to read the post? How much time do they have to allocate to the forums on any day amongst their offline responsibilities (this applies to everyone on the forums...CCs are volunteers who write from home too). Even the forum manager Chris needs to sleep 😊.
• Is your title helpful? So many threads are called hello or I need help. It makes it hard to find the threads you feel able to respond to. A title such as "need advice on managing depression" immediately tells members what you need. Personally I avoid posts in the category anxiety as I know there are other members who give much more helpful advice on this than me.

These are just some factors... There are many.

My point....

We need your help.

Every voice can make the difference between new members feeling welcome... Or excluded.

[Flick_SnotGrass]

Hi Quercus,

Good summary, thanks for your thoughtful post.

Flick