A question for our new members (and regulars too 😊).

[Quercus]

Hi everyone,

I've been thinking lately about inclusion on the forums and wondering...

What it is like to be a newbie on the forums?

Anyone feel like answering?

In the offline world we all deal with cliques. And feeling like we don't fit in or belong sometimes.

When I joined the forums I remember seeing members with thousands of posts and people greeting eachother like old friends.

I wanted so badly to feel like part of this community. I know I'm not alone... Sometimes I see a thread where someone is disheartened by a lack of response.

My question (sorry for the waffling) ...

What helped you to feel welcome here?

Here is my list (yep quite keen on lists)

• For newbies start your own thread in welcome/orientation. If you post your story in a social thread or someone else's thread you'll get lost in the system.
• On that note... Try not to make multiple threads on the same topic. If you are finding you need support speak up in the social threads or in a thread you contribute to a bit... Give the title of your thread and ask if someone will come have a chat.
• Read the rules and the posts in the welcome orientation section. Seems obvious but I don't think everyone does... And there is a lot of useful stuff in there!
• Remember the forums are not immediate. If you need immediate help there are the support numbers. Everyone on here is just like you (voluntarily contributing and dealing with a mental illness) so if you flood the forums with posts getting angry or upset about a delay in response or a post held up in moderation people tend to get overwhelmed and upset too. The helplines are there for a reason please use them 😊.
• Take the time to respond. There is nothing worse that writing a reply and then the new user never comes back online. There isn't a notification system. You've got to log on and check. Please do.
• Write to others. You don't have to know what to say. Or have advice. Sometimes it is just nice to have someone aknowledge you or to know someone is listening.

Enough waffling from me.... What does everyone else think?

Nat

[startingnew]

thank you

so the thread is called

Hello by someone called JM07

and also i think Im not healthy or ok by Lexi could use abit of support, im having alot of trouble keeping up with so many threads and was suppsoe to be taking abit of a break but theres no way im leaving them without knowing they have some extra support

thank you xoxo

[Quercus]

Thanks SN,

Time to put away the phone or computer and give yourself some TLC please. You sound extremely anxious.

These forums are intended to be a small part of a person's support network. It cannot be an only support. It is not possible for this level of care to be maintained. Sounds harsh but very true.

We all volunteer our time because we care but there is no obligation or pressure. If you are feeling like you can't leave and also live your life this is a problem.

There are so many users on the forums SN it is not the duty of a few people to provide continuous support. This is a recipe for mental burnout. And I'm worried about you.

The members on the threads you mentioned will understand.

Come on SN... You have had a very hard few weeks. Time to make yourself a priority and reduce some stress. Think about logging off and going for a walk. It will be ok.

❤ Nat

[startingnew]

anxious doesnt cover it Nat

i dont come on here through the day rarely, its only night. its 9pm here so alost time for bed.

but ill log off for now. i dont want anyone else concerned

[Quercus]

Take care of yourself please SN.

[startingnew]

ok Nat (heart emoji but cant get it on a comp!)

sorry. i just hate leaving memebers with no support. ill go now though

thanks for your concern

xox

[Quercus]

Hi everyone,

A big wave and welcome to all of the new members who have spoken up tonight 😊.

Tonight I would like to discuss self care on the forums.

These forums have so many people... each with an important story to share and a need for support.

Given the nature of the topics discussed it is easy to start to feel overwhelmed and pressured to respond.

A few things that help...

• Remember there is no obligation to respond. If you can help that is wonderful. If you can't that is ok too.
• Give patience. Recieve patience. I have responsibilities outside of the forums. So do you. We all do what we can, when we can.
• Visit threads and join in. Even if you only feel able to go onto the social threads it will help you get to meet more people. When you start chatting with others after a while people do tend to ask if you have a thread and then visit.
• Only go where you feel comfortable. I don't go into the PTSD section very often. Avoiding triggers is ok.
• Be realistic. What do you need from the forums? Can we provide that here or is a medical professional required? Or an offline support network?
• Take regular time out. If you feel anxious or worried this is your body saying it's time for TLC. We can't be all about mental illness all the time. It's exhausting.

These are my thoughts. Anyone care to add what has helped them manage their time on the forums?

I would love to hear your ideas.

PS.

Hi JM07 and Lexi. I have had a read of your threads.

I'm not able to respond for my own reasons. But I'm hopeful others will reach out to you soon.

You are both very welcome to join in on other threads if you need some more support at the moment.

❤ Nat

[Cloud_]

I'm a newbie. And i feel I'm walking into the unknown.

[Quercus]

Hi Cloud 😊

Thank you for making my day. These forums wouldn't exist without new members so I'm glad you joined us.

Do you have a thread where we can come say hello or just cruising the forums for now?

Walking into the unknown... I like that. It explains the feeling of taking the first step really well. How can we help you feel welcome? If there are any questions you have please ask ok.

Nat 😊

[startingnew]

Thanks for the tips Quercus (Nat) xoxox they are most helpful

[Quercus]

Hi SN,

Thanks 😊

How are you feeling? Have you cut back on some threads until you feel a bit better?

We've all been there before worrying about a thread that has been missed or not being able to sustain talking on so many threads.

Have you noticed a lot of CCs don't cruise the social threads? That's us self caring. Otherwise you'd be online for hours on end.

You do what you can when you can. Every member's voice is important.

When you find you are the only one replying on a thread it can help to encourage them to talk to others. Suggest threads they might find interesting.

One to one conversations aren't sustainable (what if one party gets sick?). Just like having multiple supports offline it is healthier for everyone to try connect with at least a few people on the forums.

Another thing SN please trust that Chris and the moderator team monitor the forums carefully. Yes we all need to look out for eachother and report if needed... but you are not solely responsible ok. A big BB team effort 😊

We are all here to be well as we can not to increase the stress.

I hope you are alright SN.

❤ Nat

PS

A big welcome to all our new members 😊 feel free to come say hello. Ask a question. But most of all our big question....

How can we make everyone feel welcome on the forums?