A FIFO worker struggling with life

[Pilbara_lad]

Hi Everyone,

I’m a 29 year old FIFO worker from Canberra that works in Western Australia. I work a 2 weeks on 2 weeks off roster. I’m also a professional Firefighter in my time off, and I have found myself really struggling with life in the last 12 months.

I have struggled with the depression of being away for 6 months of the year and this has badly affected my relationship. I’ve become lazy, unmotivated, progressively more depressed and this has had a horribly negative impact on my relationship with my fiancé and friends.

Today I had a fight with my fiancé, and ended up in such a low state that I told her I didn’t want to marry her. After I snapped out of it I realised what I said was so far from the truth it isn’t funny. I think however the damage is done, and understandably she now wants to at the very least postpone if not cancel our wedding in May. I’m not angry about this as I’d feel the same in her shoes.

I’m here to help get some strategies in place to fix myself, which hopefully goes a long way to helping us get through this really tough time ahead.

[geoff]

Hello Pilbara_lad, welcome to the BB site.

Working away from your finance for 6 months of the year, 2 weeks on, then 2 weeks off does create a very difficult situation, simply because the communication between the 2 of you is disrupted and also that you are working long hours away puts a strain on both of you.

When you come home all you want to do is try to relax but this may not be possible, simply because your finance has been looking forward to seeing you, however, this isn't possible as you're suffering from depression, so the situation does become awkward, unfortunately.

FIFO wages are well paid, but with these 2 issues you are both facing makes your situation sad but it can be repaired by the two of you by trying to overcome your depression by seeking help.

Are you able to have same time off work?

I hope we can help you.

Geoff.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Pilbara_lad,

I really feel for you. As Geoff has kindly said, being away half the year must take its toll. The last 12 months sound particularly rough for you though...

I think when we are feeling low, drained and exhausted, sometimes words that we don’t mean can accidentally escape. It must have been such a painful realisation when you realised that you didn’t mean what you said to your fiancée about not wanting to marry her...

I wonder if there’s much professional support from your employer that you could use. E.g. perhaps your company has its own free counselling services as some companies as I know some organisations have that.

Also, I’m thinking perhaps it would help to think about whether being away 6 months each year is sustainable in the long term, not only for your mental health but your relationships too. I understand of course you have your reasons for doing this job but maybe it would help to reassess/weigh-up the pros and cons as well as explore alternative work arrangements. Perhaps this is something to discuss with your fiancée as well...

Just some gentle suggestions from me...

There’s no pressure but if you’re feeling up to it, it would be lovely to hear from you again.

Kind and caring thoughts,

Pepper

[Pilbara_lad]

Thanks Pepper,

I don’t think FIFO is sustainable. I’ve been doing it for nearly 5 years and I don’t think my situation is very tenable much longer. The issue is I don’t have many work options in the Canberra region. I have 160-220km commutes in any direction. I don’t want to force my fiancé to leave her career for me so I’m sort of stuck where I am for the moment unfortunately. I don’t have tertiary education or a trade to fall back on so driving trains is it.

I’m at a loss as to how to go about it.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Pilbara_lad,

I really feel for you...jobs do sound hard to come by. It can be tough trying to balance making a living and managing our own mental health and relationships as well...

I think 5 years in FIFO is a long time, and it’s clearly taking its toll on you. But, as you said, you’re also worried about what other options you may have...

I don’t know if this will work for you, and I’m pretty sure this might mean taking a pay cut, but I wonder if you have thought about driving buses? I have heard bus drivers make a decent living (though probably less than FIFO workers but I’m not 100% sure), and while you would have to do shift work, you wouldn’t have to travel as much. I wonder if this is something that you might like to consider...

Otherwise, another option might be to consider part-time studies or online studies that will hopefully help open the door to other career paths...just another gentle suggestion.

Kind and caring thoughts,

Pepper