When I seek professional help I get multiple diagnosis, multiple treatment options

[KaraArtist]

I feel like I am nothing, worthless, hopeless. I don't know what direction to turn, when I seek professional help I get multiple diagnosis, multiple treatment options and they HATE when I say that I don't like to take medication because every one I have tried has caused side affects, that for me, were worse than the actual problem. I just want to stop feeling like this. it seems like no matter what I do I always end up back here. I have moved to the town I love, have an amazing fiance', stopped working due to consistent migraines and this has had a positive affect on my moods, and I have let go of all the poisonous people in my life. Yet I find myself back here, in the dark. Now what do I do?

[Guest_1055]

I have had a similar experience with a doctor. I had one that tried to put an unhealthy fear into me, that if I didn't take this particular med, then my body will suffer with the consequences of my choice. When I declined the suggestion of the med, she looked at me in such a way, that sent a message to me as if to say you are "stupid". I had already done research, so I knew I wasn't ignorant.

The way I see it, (and it may not be other people's way) is that if you can help your body heal itself without meds, go that way first. And only use chemical meds as a last resort. But you do need to do your own research I think. Everyone should have a free choice on what treatments they want.

Anyway thank you Kara, for the opportunity to voice out my opinion on this matter. As I do often feel scared too.

Also you could visit a naturopath, if you haven't thought of it.

And about the migraines, have you done research on this, because I have read eating certain foods produces migraines. I also get very bad headaches from chocolate.

Shell xx

[KaraArtist]

Hi Shelley Anne,

I don't actually play many games but I am interested in this tabletop game called X-Wing, {models on on a board, tactical movements and strategy game} and the social aspect will be good for me. thank you for the CAFE suggestion, I might have a look.

Yes I paint my feelings, let my arm release whats inside onto the canvas.

yes I agree with natural options,i am planning to see a naturopath soon but it costs money I don't have just yet.

migraines, it's an ongoing trial and error, have made many changes in diet, can't seem to make much progress. I did however find that alcohol is a trigger so I rarely drink now. I am however going to my GP in a fortnight and then hopefully get a mental health plan to take the next step.

I am glad my reaching out has also helped you, that's what these forums are all about. Reaching out, helping each other and finding people who can relate.

Thank you for chatting with me.

[Guest_1055]

Hey Kara

I just googled X-Wing, because I was interested to see what it was. It has something to do with Star Wars...is that right?

I understand about using your feelings in regards to painting. I do something similar to this when I play the flute sometimes. Whatever emotion I am feeling, I can just let it all out in some sort of melody.

I am glad you have a wonderful fiance ( might be wrong spelling there). Are you planning a wedding soon? I hope I am not being to personal. Please feel free to answer or not.

I do hope you had a better day today.

Love

Shell

[KaraArtist]

Hi Shell,

Yup, it's a tabletop strategy game with StarWars theme. I'm usually a StarTrek fan but these local blokes have got me hooked now haha.

All good if I don't want to answer I won't. Planning to be married in 2018. Weddings are expensive! Haha

I am finding it hard to release my feelings lately. All I want to do is rug up and stare into space. I have been playing that Pokémon Go game so at least I sometimes make myself go outside even if it's only for 10 minutes. It has been helping.

[Guest_1055]

Hey there Kara

Just thinking of you and wanting to say hello. I hope you start to feel better soon. So what are you feeling, you could just vent out on here?? Just write out your feelings, sometimes it does help, just to let it go. Or you could write your feelings down in a journal,or on your phone if you don't already.

I am glad you were able to get outside to play the pokemon game thingy. It is great to get fresh air in our lungs, that is if the air around you is fresh, I guess. Somebody else started a topic/ thread on that very game.

How is the publishing going with your book?

I mostly like weddings, it is such a special romantic sort of thing.

Bye now

Shell xx

[KaraArtist]

hi Shell,

unfortunately i have reached a point, as I sometimes do, where I am having trouble holding onto reality. everything feels like it's on the other side of a pain of glass and I can't touch, taste or feel anything. organizing doc visit as we speak. time to get myself some professional help. I can't focus and have already spent a lot of time writing this so that it makes sense, my mind is jumble and I can't hold any one thought in there for very long.

Thank you for this opportunity to let out my crazy . I don't know you but just being able to write this down is helpful. thankyou

[Guest_1055]

Hi Kara

I was wondering how you are getting along?

I am sorry you feel like you are living behind a plane of glass. I think I understand that, are you saying like you are behind the glass, watching life go by, but you are unable to participate. Or like living behind a wall, the wall is to high to climb over, too thick to punch through, and to hard to dig under, it is like a prison and you want out. I have felt at times also, it is like I am in this dream and I am just waiting to wake up and start actually living. Is that like you then??

Have you ever tried when you feel like it's not real to concentrate on surroundings around you. Like really listen to the bird chirping happily outside. Or feel the tears on your cheeks, really taste the sweetness of a piece of fruit, really look up at the stars in the night sky and see how they sparkle. Etc. This has helped me at times, even to realise that there is beautiful things. Sometimes I even start to feel thankful or something.

Where you able to get an appointment then? Oh I do hope you are OK .

Love

Shell xx

[Guest_1055]

Hi Kara

Just letting you know I am thinking of you at the moment. Hope you are OK there. Here is a hug from me to you, if you would like one. Also if you ever feel up to just saying hello, please come visit the BB cafe if you want.

Bye now

Shell xx

[Guest_1055]

Good Morning Kara

Just saying hello, and to let you know I am thinking of you at the moment. Hope you are feeling better.

Love

Shell xx

[KaraArtist]

Hi Shell,

Sorry I haven't been on here for a while. I've been looking after my little sister who's suicidal.

First thing, yes I saw my doc and I've got a psychologist now who I'll be seeing in a week or so when I get home.

I love your suggestions of focusing on my surroundings, I'll give that a go.

My glass wall is more like a barrier that's muffling sounds and diming vision. I can see the world on the other side but I can't touch, taste or hear it very well. Everything is dulled and everything is quiet. I try to reach out but I'm met with all my senses dulled.

Thank you for checking up on me. I've just needed to be alone lately so I've not been online at all.

Kara