Therapy what kind ?

[Bellepanda15]

Hello  Friends 

I can’t  find the right kind of Psychologist/Psychotherapist/Therapist for myself, I’ve always known  something was very wrong with my FOO (Family Of Origin) and only found through Google that they  98% are Narcissistic my Late Mother being the worst (Malignant)-I’ve had Depression long-term and was the Scapegoat of the family, I have  NEVER  found  any Professional who could validate my experience as most either can’t or won’t believe what I I tell them. Does anyone out there have any ideas for me ??   My GP   can’t understand why no Professional can help me 

[sbella02]

Bellepanda15,

Thank you for reaching out to us, you've come to the right place.

Sometimes it can take a while for us to find a professional who we really gel with, who can validate our experiences and offer us professional advice and support in just the way we need to help us on our healing journey. Even if this means switching GPs until you find somebody who can offer the care you need, it's worth the trial and error stage. Every doctor has different views, life experiences, and educational experiences, and different people may be suited to different doctors accordingly. I wouldn't let this one experience with your GP deter you - it's definitely worth trying to find somebody else, if you can.

I would also encourage you to check out the APS website, where you can search for specific problems you'd like to address with a psychologist or counsellor and based on your area, the search results will come up with people who you may be suited to. You can access it here:

https://psychology.org.au/find-a-psychologist

Hopefully this helps!

SB

[Bellepanda15]

Thank you  sbella02 for the suggestion

I have had many many attempts at the site you suggested first two years ago and last night and NO matches, the only issue I can put on the search engine is Trauma/PTSD (but nothing is specific to Narcissistic abuse) this year alone I have met and had several appointments with six  Psychologist/Psychotherapists and NONE  of them were familiar or showed to me they had any working knowledge of the trauma of Adult Child of Narcissist/Mother/Family, . . . .

one of them said “Why would you’re Mother be so bad to since she’d given you such a beautiful name”!   and was told by a Community Service Officer/friend I know who told me “I just needed to have an honest chat with my family” and that would fix things !!!

. It’s this type of ignorance/rubbish that is further re-abusing and why I have felt soo alone and hopeless because clinically trained Professionals  when they hear me describe my childhood either don’t believe me and do not have a working knowledge of the trauma I have endured and being disbelieved and gaslighting is one of the  features that growing up in a Narcissistic family 

I will keep on trying and I’m sorry to have rambled on 

Thank you for reaching out 

Bellepanda15

[sbella02]

Bellepanda15,

No need to apologise at all, the Beyond Blue forums are made for you to chat and open up about your suffering in whatever manner you need to.

I'm not sure if you've already tried this, but when you click "search by issue", it'll come up with options along one side that say categories like "mental health", "general health", "trauma/harm", etc. You may find it easy to refine your search to just one thing and start there, like under "personal" there's a category that says "life transition & adjustment issues", for instance. This may not be exactly what you're looking for, but broadening your search may help you find somebody. 

I'm sorry to hear that you've had this kind of experience with professionals. The comment about having a beautiful name is almost sickening to me, because it may sound like a lovely sentiment, but you're right in that it completely invalidates your experience by implying that somebody who's done something sweet once could never do anything to harm you.

I've also had experience with narcissistic abuse, not from a family member but a former friend of mine, so I may have a little more insight into this. Narcissists can be especially difficult to deal with because they're experts in deflecting blame onto you, dodging accountability, and making you feel isolated in your experience.

It's important to remember that you're not at fault, and that their treatment of you does not reflect on you, your personality, and the worth that you bring to the world. One thing that greatly helped me was writing out exactly what I felt that the person in my life had done to me, how it affected me, and how I felt about it. Particularly if telling them isn't a feasible (or logical) option, as people with narcissistic traits often struggle with accountability, writing out how somebody has made you feel can be a great way of consolidating how you're feeling, validating your own experience, and can provide a foundation for finding a way to heal from it. 

I'm sorry that this is a lot of text, but I hope you can find worth in my words somewhere. Please don't hesitate to reach out some more, I can empathise with your experience and am here to listen.

SB