Mental health services and tobacco

[Bullied]

I have noticed that many people who attend mental health services also smoke tobacco. The fact that these facilities are designated smoke free has no effect and a blind eye is shown to those who smoke.

I am extremely hypersensitive to tobacco and just being close to someone who has smoked in the previous half hour or so can give me a severe migraine. This has been the case when I have tried to get assistance.

It seems that the high level of tobacco smoke will preclude me from availing of mental health services.

[white knight]

Hi Bullied

If you want to you can put a Christian name at the end of your post. It doesnt have to be yours.

I'll be as brief as I can.

1987, 31yo Working for a lical council my boss ordeted me to give preferential treatment to a politician. I refused. I got panic attack falsely diagnosed as a heart attack. I fought them, I won, in that I kept my dignity in tact. I lost my job...typical kangaroo court situation where they find things to condemn you.

I never returned to that profession. I was never compensated. Australia like anywhere else has corruption, sadly these unjust acts are part of life. In the 80's there was the paddington bear affair and the colour tv affair both where pollies tried to evade paying import tax...to the detriment of custom officers health!

Why I'm highlighting these is that its common, bullying, criminal acts etc.

I went through months of therapy. I was taught how to be more realistic, accept unjust activities as being common and learning how to avoid them for the rest of my life. I was too black and white in a grey world.

By far the biggest learning curve was...to accept that some cruel people, aspects of society and injustices, are not worth punishing myself or my family and friends for. I had to replace those people at the top of my focus, with my loved ones.

There was one more need. To find in life what would make like worth living. I embarked on a new journey, spiritually and real planning for my future.

If this post strikes a cord I ask you to read the first posts of the following threads. Hope they help. Use google

Topic: 30 minutes can change your life- beyondblue

Topic: the balance of your life- beyondblue

Topic: be radical- beyondblue

Topic: so what are their mental illnesses?- beyondblue

Topic: bullying- beyondblue

I'm glad you are here mate.

Tony WK

[Bullied]

I do have more to say about this ....

[Just Sara]

Hey B;

I've had a look-see at your other thread and see there's a lot going on with you. I did leave a post a couple of days back, as well as TonyWK. Is there an issue with us talking about our stuff with you? I thought I might give you a better sense of who I am and why I'm here. If it's not helpful...so be it.

You're pissed off; I get it. Do you have anyone to take it out on other than yourself or the forum? It seems not. Having your posts withheld has a purpose bigger than you. It's probably not ideal for you at this time, so then what is?

You've got to understand, if you want to continue posting here, the language you use is more important than anything. You're a creative and intelligent man, why not use that to express yourself better so 'all' your posts get thru?

If you want to butt heads with people, that's fine. Just be aware of 'your' presence here, like those smoking in the area's you're in ok. We too have rules, so breaking them brings consequences; that's a given.

You've called yourself 'Bullied'; it seems though you might be turning the tables. You created this thread to let people know how you feel, so maybe start by being up front and voice your anger in a way that'll get your posts across the divide.

I'm not one to shy away from conflict or rage. I understand and know how crap going on in our heads has to have an outlet. I learned that here on this forum with this amazing community of people. PTSD sucks big time! It comes with responses that seem to take over our sense of self. I of all people can attest to that.

But, if you work at it, life gets better. Have a look at the language I've used and know this post won't be held back. I'm appropriate for the reader including you, yet I've voiced my frustration successfully. It just takes a bit of creativity, restraint and sensitivity.

I'm known around here for saying it like it is. I offer you the opportunity to let loose and have someone to bounce off who's been where you are...I don't scare easily.

I'd appreciate if you spoke 'with' me, not 'at' me. OK?

Sara

[Bullied]

Hello Sara,

It seems it is not that language I use but the contents that get them pulled. Talking about subjects which appear in the forum title do not get through.

I have a mild headache today as I am in proximity of a smoker. She goes out each hour and then the smoke comes back on the clothes. I just have to put up with that but it wears me down. I feel like I am close to snapping some days. I hold it in. There is nothing else I can do.

The last two days have been very bad in others ways. I have started something new to try to cope.

[Bullied]

I will speak with you.

[Bullied]

Not sure how mild it has to be to pass the filter.

How can we talk Sara?

[Just Sara]

You just speak hun. I'll try to give some suggestions that might help.

Issues that tend to get pulled are about SH (self harm) if they're distressing or explicit. This includes suicide or harming others. Using acronyms helps.

You can imagine reading these if you're in that space and being triggered. It might actually illicit their urges to be acted on. We definitely don't want this.

Other issues are derogatory comments or inflamed argumentative statements that're aimed at causing harm or being disrespectful/intrusive/unsettling for the sake of conflict alone.

We're here to engage, voice our pain or help others; that's it. If posts don't achieve this or are said with aggressive tone, they aren't allowed.

Your first post was great! The one talking about your friend going outside for a smoke was too. I can relate...absolutely. Just talk B...chat amongst ourselves until you feel confident with a 'style' you're happy with.

I hear your distress and frustration...I do. If you think of our posts as energy moving back and forth, it conjures thoughts of what you want from me, what I want from you, and what we have to give each other. Non productive comments break that energy to leave us feeling lost.

If I were to tell you I've been violently raped several times, was SA (sexually abused) by my dad at 11 and feared for it happening to my sisters so I threw myself in their way to save them till I left home, caught my best friend's husband sexually abusing my 2 yr old son, was crushed psychologically by the love of my life rejecting me sexually for 3 yrs and bullied at work until I lost my mind; would you feel empathy or upset that I wasn't listening to you?

You know what? Both is ok. It's just the way you express it. Btw, all these things did happen. (And more) I survived, and continue to strive for 'life'. Helping you is one of those strategies.

I want to get to know you, that's not a crime. It's genuine, so suck it up my friend. Someone like me doesn't come along everyday ya know! Yeah, I know, I'm being a biartch! lol

I'm here...to listen, engage and validate your pain and frustration. Use me...

Sara (Hug)

[Bullied]

No - I do not want anyone to take things out on though when I get assaulted by tobacco smoke when I should be in a safe place I do feel my anger boiling up. I have not done anything yet and do just ask the person politely to stop smoking and point out it is a No Smoking location. I would say about 10% apologise and stop, about 40% will tell you to "Go forth and multiply" and the rest get very verbally and sometimes physically aggressive. I am afraid that one day I will lose it and fight back. That is a real fear I have. It has happened to me once before when I was at school and it frightens me to this day. An incident occurred which hit the tipping point. I struck back and came close to seriously injuring someone who was much larger and more powerful than me. I do not recall what happened I just became aware of me trying to strangle him. I do not know where that point is and how much pressure it takes to go there.

[Just Sara]

Thanks B;

I'm beginning to get the picture. What happened at school was definitely unfortunate. What was the outcome? Were you punished?

I relate to that incident. I hurt a girl at school for picking on my sister. She was a mess and I felt immense guilt. The thing was though, when it happened, the world turned the brightest shade of red and I just continued lashing out at her until I saw blood on my hand. My dr said it was due to pressure build up in my eyes bursting the blood vessels; rage from my home-life.

I swore from then on, I'd never hurt another living soul. What that did though, was inhibit me from standing up for myself when it was needed. I became afraid of my own anger.

It's no wonder you have such huge reactions from smoking. So my question is; Is it the smoke that's more important, or your fear of hurting someone and the consequences?

Please have a good think about this ok. Which one affects you more dramatically?

Sara

[Bullied]

None of the school staff knew it happened. The big bully was so humiliated by the incident he left school a few weeks before the School Certificate. I did not do anything else to him but he had lost his power to intimidate others.

I hate having to spend my time with migraine headaches so often. One exposure will leave me with a headache for four hours or more. Verbal conflict does not worry me too much but I do have a fear of it becoming physical.