How to stop my paranoia about seeing a GP?

[Billie_98]

Hi all, ive been struggling for years with my paranoia and anxiety, im supposed to see a doctor for the first time in 2years tommorrow, ATM i cant even go into work or uni or shopping anymore because of panic attacks so going tomorrow is essential.

My problem, and the reason why i haven't been to one in so long despite struggling so much, is i have really bad paranoia about speaking to a doctor, ive only been about twice in living memory, i know its silly but i feel like they are lying to me and will give me placebos to try and "catch me" on a lie, i desperately need their help but i feel like i wont be able to say anything to them. I dont think theyll take me seriously as the last time i was prescribed treatment i got paranoid that they were fake and threw them away, im scared they'll know this and refuse to help me. Will they just think im being attention seeking? Im so scared theyre going to accuse me of not being the way i am.

Im not sure of my question exactly but i could really use some advice or reassurance, if theres any way people have gotton over this themselves?

I have to go tomorrow but it feels so impossible to me.

Thank you in advance

[Aaronsis]

Welcome to the forum Billie_98

I can hear how anxious you are and I am so proud that you are going to your appointment tomorrow, I hear how terrified you are, of being judged of not knowing what to say and that you infact may not be able to speak.

Can I suggest to you that maybe writing a note to the GP and putting all your fears and your worries, exactly as you have hear, and passing it to your GP could be the starting point for your appointment. There are many people who share this anxiety and worry so intensely that I am sure your GP would have had a note passed to them before to outline a persons concerns and why they are at the appointment today.

I am not going to insult you with logic and with trying to minimize your fear about the consultation and your feelings about being "set up" or "given a placebo", these are real terrors for you and I hope that once you do start your appointment and the GP starts the conversation with you you will feel more comfortable that they are there to help, to be kind and to listen and to genuinely help you.

You could take some time today to start to write a note, it doesn't have to be perfect, it may not even start at the start but a purge on the paper and letting all your feelings and concerns out. Don't worry about spelling or grammar or any of that, just purge.

I hope to chat to you some more and hope that your appointment goes really well tomorrow as you start the journey to wellness and to getting some help for you..well done Billie_98.

Here to listen, to support you and to help you through this time.

Hugs

Sarah