I just saw a counselor for the first time, and in all honesty, I hated it. I guess I expected to leave there in a better mood but I think I felt worse walking out than I felt walking in. I was wondering if it's common for people to feel this way at the start?
I've never opened up to anyone before- not my friends, family or a professional. So I felt very vulnerable and embarrassed, and I cried throughout the session. Every question he asked me felt invasive and was hard for me to answer. I know he's doing his job and that everything paints a bigger picture, but it was just a little intimidating for me. He drew on so many different aspects of my life which has now got me overthinking everything I've ever done in the past- I've given myself a headache and I haven't stopped crying since. I was very in the midst of my emotions so I could barely get anything out of my mouth. I'm worried that maybe he doesn't understand the extent of what I feel because I can't put my emotions into words well. At times I got frustrated at him for not understanding what I was trying to tell him. Whenever he smiled at me I got worried that he was laughing at something I said and I took it as a condescending thing.
I have another session scheduled in a few days and I'm dreading it. I'm regretting going in the first place, I feel like I've 'exploited' myself, if that makes sense. Did anyone else feel the same way when they first started seeing a professional?
