Difficulties Understanding Treatment

[P12]

Counsellors and psychologists to whom I have spoken have told me to identify my long term goals and strive for their achievement. But my attempts have been unsuccessful because I lack the practical skills for achievement and that has caused me greater dissatisfaction than before I attempted to achieve the goals. What is the reason for this strategy and why are counsellors and psychologists unwilling or unable to give me practical advice?

I identified the technical topic most interesting to me, looked for collaborators, and asked for support to pursue my interest. I found only two people in Australia with similar interests and believe they are unwilling to collaborate with me because by discrediting me their circumstances will improve. The feedback I received about my requests for support is that the topic is not relevant to society. Instead I am expected to perform a job for which I am imperfect and therefore I am excluded because my processes and ideas are different to the industry. Is it true that society's objective is for greater normality and what is the reason for such a strange aspiration? Why does society reject people who are different? Why does society not allow me to pursue my individual interests and talents? What is the purpose of living if society has no use for my talents and the role that society would have me fulfil causes me trauma?

I was told that independence will not cause me long term satisfaction. Yet, as I have tried unsuccessfully for more than ten years to form a friendship, I question this assertion. The prevailing strategy suggested to me for gaining friends is to participate in activities I enjoy as there I am most likely to meet others with similar interests and beliefs. What is the purpose of living if society directs me to one outcome but it cannot provide the means to achieve that outcome? Surely independence is a far more effective solution.

I'm pretty sure I am lonely. I would like to have a friendship or at least feel welcome in society. But my efforts never seem to work. People make suggestions but I must be special because they don't work for me. The harder I try, the more independent I become, because my methods appear stranger to others, and the less liked I become. I really don't understand the society in which I live. I wish I wasn't so sad.

I often cry uncontrollably and am unable to sleep when I realise I will not achieve my desires and there is nothing I can do about it. My life is apparently meaningless.

[Summer Rose]

Hi P12

I have been away from the forum for quite sometime for personal reasons, so I was quite pleased to see that you still here and active in the community. Hello, again.

I think Croix has made an excellent point in saying that friendship is a two-way street and that your lack of social awareness can be understood and compensated for by a new potential friend.

I have a friend who lives with bipolar, another who is in her 80s (much older than me) and battling brain cancer and another who experiences high-functioning autism. They are all so different, all really special individuals, complete with quirks and flaws, yet I love each of them. Cause, guess what? I have my own quirks and flaws and they accept me too.

Don’t give up on friendship. You are worthy, you are enough.
I’ve said this before but still want to mention that one of my best friends is my dog. She loves me no matter what.

The relationships that people have with their animals—cats, dogs, horses, birds, Guinea pigs, etc are really special and meaningful. Just something to think about.

Do you still have your plant?

Kind thoughts to you 

[P12]

Hi Croix and Summer Rose,

Thank you for kindly explaining again.

I guess what I don't understand is that I am apparently applying as much effort as I physically can, but yet I am still failing. This makes me think that humans are fundamentally not meant to have friends despite such a strong natural desire to have friends. I don't understand why humans have evolved this way.

My plant never grew from its seeds. When I think about it I can see why some people like animals, but I am sorry I really don't have much interest in them. I am most interested in the natural environment. I love the natural environment because it is friendly to me. It changes very slowly meaning I can connect compassionately with it. However, it is not a person. I spend as much time in it as I can, yet I still feel distressed.

[Croix]

Dear P12~

To love the natural environment and the slow way it changes suits the sort of person you are. I would not think it takes effort or work on your part to appreciate it, you just click.

The world has uncountable people in it, and some others wil have the same appreciation. Perhaps you are looking too hard in the wrong places or at the wrong people. Maybe if you came across another with the same appreciation (not impossible) then a slow friendship might start.

It is easy to be lured in popular concepts of friendship, they simply may not be right for you

Croix

[Summer Rose]

Hi P12

I think to consider yourself “failing” is harsh.
Perhaps, what’s happened is that some of the people you have encountered thus far have let you down.
Perhaps, some of those people just weren’t the right type of person to be your friend anyway. Perhaps, you are still en route. 
Kind thoughts to yo

[P12]

Can anyone explain what it means to be rejected?

My psychologist seems to suggest to me that the reason I am unsuccessful is because other people are faulty. And therefore that I must work to convince others of what they are missing.

I heard that the Work Assist programme will be changed on 1 July. I hope the new programme might accept me so that I can prove the people who rejected me previously as wrong. I don't understand my work environment and I have been searching for one more suited to me since I left university fourteen years ago. I think I am most suited to a ln academic environment but the employers I have consulted have declined me. From what I can tell I can work on my talents outside work hours alone but I cannot be paid for what I am talented in. And if I do not receive income then I will not survive because there is nowhere I can live sustainably for free.

[Croix]

Dear P12~

I guess if you have been rejected for Work Assist then with the "New specialist disability employment program" starting on 1 July 2025 may be a better entry point, though having looked at their web page I'm not much wiser

https://engage.dss.gov.au/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/new-program-information-paper-ongoing-support-2...

As with all of these things I hope you not only have medical evidence from your clinicians but also most importantly an advocate who is familiar wiht the Department of Social Service and what exactly needs to be entered into each section of each form.

Sadly many deserving peple are rejected simply becuse they are unfamiliar wiht the  application process.

Wishing you good luck

Croix

[Summer Rose]

Hi P12

I want to wish you well getting into the new employment program. 
I know your current workplace can be painful for you at times (and I’m sure very frustrating and confusing) and I’m wondering if you have ever considered engaging a mentor to help you better understand the culture, work practices, etc? I’m thinking along the lines of a “coach” you could meet with weekly or biweekly, it has to be someone who understands your unique challenges and can therefore explain things in a way that makes sense to you. It might help to improve life while you’re waiting to make a change.

I’m sorry that you have not found a way to be paid for what interests you and what you’re talented in. If I remember correctly, it is quite a niche area.

I know that’s a big disappointment for you, just as it is for many other people.
There are countless people working at jobs and in fields that they would prefer not to be. But they do it to earn a living. It’s a cliche but just think of the actress-aspiring waitress or the university qualified taxi driver looking for their first job as a computer programmer. You are not alone with this type of disappointment. 

What helps me at times of disappointment like this in life is to focus on what I have—and be grateful for that—and not worry too much about what I don’t have.

You have a brilliant mind. A university degree. Work experience and achievements. And an opportunity for change coming your way. So much to be grateful for. 
Kind thoughts to you

[P12]

Yes. I think the supports are simply a case of luck. I think there really is no purpose in society.

I have searched for a mentor but only found nominal mentors. I am still looking for a suitable person. My employer is unwilling or unable to provide me one. The people I have asked have declined. My professional association is also unwilling or unable. I have participated in several external mentoring programmes. They are ok, but they are limited to approximately six meetings and my mentors are not familiar with the operations and culture of my employer. Currently I am participating in a mentoring programme with a not for profit organisation. My mentor is an insightful person, though as he is 45 years older than me and worked in a completely different industry he is not familiar with the specific challenges I have.