Anxiety because I have been sick.

[Dirox]

Hi all, i have been unwell for about 7 months. Getting on top of it now but i feel anxious when i even have a thought to go out with people. Not quite sure how i am going to fix this.

Cheers Di

[Croix]

Dear Di~

I'm glad to learn your stomach illness is on the improve. It sounded most painful, debilitating and if it was me frightening as well.

7 Months is a long time to be away from others. I would assume your interactions would have  been with carers and/or hospital staff.  As a result knowing what to say and do when you are back in society can be pretty daunting. 

May I suggest baby steps, preferably wiht a purpose. As an example if you need to go get shopping and have a friend or family member who will accompany you then talk wil probably be about shopping items, and you will have a time limit on the exercise, as you will have to get the groceries home.

This is the sort of thing you can build on over time -would you agree?

Croix

[sbella02]

Hey Di,

Thank you so much for reaching out, welcome to the forums. On one hand, I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling anxious when going out with people, and on the other hand, I'd like to extend my congratulations on getting to the other end of being unwell.

It sounds like you haven't flexed your social muscles in a while, so it makes sense that you may be feeling somewhat apprehensive about doing that now. How manageable is that anxiety? If you had to put it on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being really severe and 1 being really manageable, where would you rate it?

If you're sitting around the middle of the scale, it may be easier for you to go out and immerse yourself in people while sitting with that anxiety, and you may find that it'll lessen the more you do this. If you're sitting up around the higher end, what are you feeling the most anxious about? 

Journaling tends to help me when I'm feeling really anxious, as writing it all out can be therapeutic - you get to release some of those thoughts that may be muddying your mind.

I hope this helps, feel free to keep chatting with us or share your thoughts in regards to what we've said. We're here to listen and support you.

All the best, SB

[therising]

Hi Di

I feel for you so much as you consider integrating back into society, a re-entry that can come with a number of challenges for sure. For myself, I experience social anxiety and have come to question so much as to why. The amount of factors involved has been quite surprising to me. In other words, we're not always entirely conscious of all the things involved when it comes to how to manage many of the challenges both out there and within ourself. Some of the many factors 

• A lack of a sense of confidence or a 'can do' carefree attitude can be one. As a social drinker way back, not drinking means the volume dial can be turned way up when it comes to the stresser in me and/or my inner critic (aspects that alcohol used to drown out). When such aspects of myself start in on me it can sound a little like 'What are you going to talk about? How are you not going to sound boring? You know you're a shocker with small talk and just can't manage it. This is all way too stressful, you're best just not going out' and on it goes. Finding ways to manage inner dialogue becomes an absolute must for those of us who can struggle with inner dialogue
• Being out of practice. 'I am in the practice of socialising' or 'I practice socialising' can point to certain abilities and skills that can be lost while not practicing. So, it can be about returning to the practice of socialising. As Croix mentions, returning to practicing can be easier when we've got someone to practice with, such as a friend or family member. A social partner can make an enormous difference at time because they can also be our teacher in regard to learning how to redevelop our skills and abilities. They can also help us manage our mind (perspective, focus etc) and body (nervous system, blood pressure, inner chemistry etc). 
• I've found 'Am I feeling too much?' to be a fair and helpful question at times. Breaking it up into categories can be even more helpful and interesting. Do you tend to 1) feel the amount of people in a place as overwhelming at times? Do you tend to 2) feel sound, to the point of overload at times? Do you tend to 3) feel closed in spaces as a bit suffocating? If you can 4) feel your thoughts and 5) feel your nervous system in a state of hyperactivity, this can definitely add to the load of stimulation. With social anxiety, we can actually be feeling or sensing 5 or more things all at once. Sometimes it can be about finding the right or best places which suit our nature. Personally, I avoid food courts like the plague, cafes with tables and chairs crammed in together, peak times at shopping centres and the list goes on. There will be times where I do challenge myself though, so as to learn how to cope with such places if I have to. Developing certain skills or abilities in the process becomes the goal. Not easy. While my ability to feel isn't to the extreme, for those who do feel intensely 'Quiet hour' and/or non peak times in supermarkets is something they take advantage of or noise canceling earbuds and strategies along those lines 
• A matter of fact is human beings can be incredibly aggravating and lacking in consciousness, something that can be felt 😁. Di, they can seriously take me to the brink of insanity at times. In all fairness, some can be fantastic, amazing, incredibly conscious and just downright inspiring. The rest...hmmm🤔😠. As a 55yo gal, there's a good reason why I haven't worked with the public since I was 20. I deeply admire anyone who can. Being out in public amongst people can come with so many challenges/triggers. Figuring out what those challenges and triggers are, for us personally, can take a bit of detective work as we come to better understand our nature, what our emotions or feelings are trying to tell us and what our struggles are really about. In every challenge lies the chance to come to know ourself better than ever before