Tired

[ashley___]

I’m used to helping my mum in caring for my little sister (who is autistic), especially when my dad is away at work.

However lately i’ve been getting more irritable/annoyed at my sister or at doing stuff to help her (like feeding her, dressing her up). i feel like crying or lashing out everytime she doesn’t listen to me or she makes a mess. the only time i’m not irritable is when i’m not with her, and i feel like a bad sister because of that. with all the holiday homework i have combined with this ive just been feeling so tired too. i feel like i need a break from taking care of my sister, but that feels so wrong as an older sister. my dad is still away at work, so who will help my mum care for her?

I have nothing much to do about this but wait for my dad to head home so i can take care of my sister less. but i dont know if i can tell my mum about how ive been feeling, she will probably get mad and also ive been stressing her out because i also sound annoyed most of the time i talk to my sister. i’m so tired…

[blues23]

Hi Ashley 

im not sure how old you are but you have taken on quite a load I’m a single mother to an autistic child and it’s not easy even for a 43 year old woman so I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you to feel the burden of looking after your little sister . It is ok to  explain your feelings to ur parents  which are valid you are not responsible for looking after your sister  if it’s possible  & your feel confident & able to ask your mum to take the load off of you . I don’t know your situation but you also need to care for yourself and it’s ok to do self care  take a break long term / short term / forever/ and not feel bad about not helping your mum/ dad and sister .. it’s also ok to feel irritated at your situation  carer burn out is a real thing  & it’s important to look after your wellbeing im sure your parents will understand and I’m sure they appreciate All your efforts to help your sister but you also need to look after yourself and put your own needs first as well and this is ok too . 

[smallwolf]

hello and welcome to the forums.

When I read your post, it sounded to me like you have been carrying a lot for a long time, and feeling tired and irritable in that situation makes sense. I want you to know that it does not make you a bad sister, it means you are

overwhelmed and need a break.

Caring for someone, especially alongside school and everything else, is a big responsibility. Wanting some space does not mean you do not care about your sister. I know you don't feel that you can talk to your mother... If you can, it might help to gently let your mum know you are struggling, even just a little. You deserve some support too.

You are doing more than enough.

Listening...

[Psychdiaries2]

Hi there,

Just by reading your post, I can tell that you are a very caring and helpful older sister. I agree with the others, you aren't a bad sister because you're irritable and tired with the situation. You're human at the end of the day and we all get overwhelmed, especially with our responsibilities. I suggest finding a good time to tell your mum and maybe even your dad too that things are getting too much for you. You also have school to focus on and you need some time for that as well as taking time to rest. Try to take a breath in those overwhelming situations. It's so important to also look after yourself. If you have any spare time at all, try to do something you enjoy even if it's just for a short time. I hope your parents will understand how you feel and allow you a little less responsibility. 

Wishing you the best and take care 🤗

[audiology]

Hi - welcome to the forums. Let me just reiterate what otehrs have said and to ensure you that what you're going through is completely normal - it's actually got a term for it youj can look into it you wish as well - it's called 'Compassion Fatigue'. Anyhow just wanted to drop by and let yui know it's completely 100% ok to give yourself a break! 

[Daydreamer70]

Best of luck with everything. Hopefully things ease when your dad gets home, but I still think speaking with your parents about how you feel will help improve things in the future. 

- Daydreamer.