Son newly diagnosed with depression

[BarebackBel]

Morning all so I’m new to this forum and I have to tell you it’s been a hard week. I have 14yr old twin boys one who has Autism so life hasn’t always been easy in our family. His twin on Monday reached out via text with some concerning thoughts and desires. While i rushed to his school to get an explanation it was found that he has planned how he wants to end his life, where, when and knows how to access what he needs. I’m grateful that he reached out and that his school recognised so quickly that there was an issue but it’s been such a whirlwind and emotionally exhausting week. We have been to GP who did a mental health plan, diagnosed him with depression, referred us back to his paediatrician and also psychologist. We now have appointments booked every week for next 12 weeks. Overall while I know I’m lucky everyone has acted so quickly I’m still an absolute mess and exhausted and have no idea what to do. Any guidance is appreciated

[smallwolf]

Hi BarebackBel,

Welcome to beyond blue.

I cannot imagine what you have gone through in this last week and nothing I say will make it any better, but you are not alone. With the help of the psychologist, GP, friends, etc. I hope that you all get through this tough time in your life.

Yet there are some things that you can do - but mainly communication and education. If you have depression you (your son) might not notice it, or we are ashamed to speak out about our problems. I am not sure how much your son can open up to you. There are some things that I still have trouble talking to my wife about. And this is where the psychologist might be helpful. They are trained and expected to be non-judgemental and show empathy. For you, these are skills worth having. Just listening to your son talk about his troubles will mean a great deal to him. On the education front, and this is not necessarily just about suicide, but about being a support person. If you start here

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/supporting-someone

there are some great resources.

Lastly a little story about me... One night last I was thinking about ending my life after the wife and kids has gone to bed. But I snapped out of it - I had sort of zoned out. I went back to the GP and then psychologist and was immediately given 1 week of leave from work. That turned into 5 weeks. My GP/psychologist wanted my wife to be with me 24/7 to make sure I did not do anything crazy. I had a alternative, and did not want to burden my wife in that way, so I would go elsewhere (College library) during the day time. Like your son, for the next while after that night I saw my psychologist weekly. I am still here.

There are other things to be considered like safety plans, removing access to needed items, but I am hopeful that you will have been told about this sort of stuff already.

And if things get really bad there is always 000.

If you have any questions, or want to chat, I am generally about.

Peace to you and your family,

Tim

[Purple_People_Eater]

Hi BareBackBel

You have done exactly the right thing so far My son was also depressed and suicidal at around that age. There's a lot of rewiring/pruning going on in the brain at this age. And it doesn't help if there's another member of the family with major issues like his twin brother. (It's my husband in our case.)

We got him to the GP and a great counselling social worker (who I'd used before) got him through. He is content now, and studying his second year of Engineering later this year.

My best friend also has twin boys, both young adults now, one of whom is autistic and one who is neuro-typical. The neuro-typical one has anxiety. It's not uncommon to have the weight of the world on your shoulders in this situation.

Listen to the counsellor and your son. And try to do some fun things together without his brother; he probably doesn't get enough time with you.

Best of luck!
PPE

[BarebackBel]

Hi Tim

thankyou for your reassuring words, it means a lot to get feedback and guidance in a world that I’m unsure of. My son was able to talk today and he reached out to his best friend which was another great step. I am grateful that I have taught my children to talk to me openly and honestly even though he let things build up when he got to his worst he was able to reach out. Now it’s all a matter of doing anything I can to help him get better.

once again Thankyou and Thankyou for sharing your story with me. I sincerely wish you well.

Bel

[BarebackBel]

Thankyou, your assurance and the sharing of your story is appreciated. A better day today my son let his best friend in and talked positively and more than one word responses which was nice.

Bel

[smallwolf]

Bel,

Thank you for your kind words. If you have any questions feel free to drop by.

All the best,

Tim

[Purple_People_Eater]

Hi Bel

That's great news. Good connections with others help all of us maintain our sanity.

PPE