Sometimes I just want to give up on them but I know I never will.

lilley · ‎19-10-2015

My daughter was in two abusive relationships aged 13 to 17 .Now in a better relationship but she suffers anxiety and depression, never finished school . Everything causes her anxiety , eating sleeping what to wear ,what to do. She is doing a course and I feel some days are good but tests or assignments cause severe anxiety. She has just started to see a psychologist , but its hard some days she doesn't want to get out of bed. My husband has depression and we have been affected financially.It is so hard being the strong one, I cry most days driving on the way to work. I never know what's about to happen , will my husband go to work today ? Will my daughter get up to go to college tomorrow ? I suffer anxiety daily worrying about what will happen next with them ? I love them dearly , some days I don't know how I will go on!

endlesslydriftingthroughspace · ‎19-10-2015

Hi lilley,

It hurts a lot to hear what you're dealing with right now. I hope you can find some solace in knowing I can hear you.

It sounds like you're in a really tough spot at the moment and feeling you can give no more. I can really relate to that, I have exhausted myself for years being the 'keeper of the peace". I found/still find it, very fulfilling to help people.

I'm happy to talk about it if you want to? Have you spoken to anyone before about how you are feeling?

Neil_1 · ‎20-10-2015

Hi lilley

Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you for providing your post.

It does sound like you’ve got a fair load on your plate and it’s really doing a job on you – wearing you down and as you’re finding, it’s stressful and becoming exhausting for you.

The response from endlesslydriftingthroughspace was a really excellent one and hopefully by even coming here, and unloading a little it has kind of helped you a little. Another possible suggestion might be even to see if you can organise your own appointment with your doctor, just to give them a rundown of all that is happening and how it’s affecting you.

Kind regards

Neil

lilley · ‎20-10-2015

Thanks for your response ,just knowing someone is listening to me and that someone can hear my pain helps. I don't really understand why but it does. I think it's so hard to remain positive and believe in positive thinking when things go well you get so happy , then when things go bad again your just shattered all over again. It's a rollercoaster ride that never stops . The highs are great you feel such relief but when you go down its like you will never be able to go up again.

lilley · ‎20-10-2015

Thank you for welcoming me ,its hard to talk about things as family and friends are so judgemental , I have spoken with my GP she is very nice ,its just hard to find the right person to talk to.

endlesslydriftingthroughspace · ‎22-10-2015

Hi lilley,

Sorry for the delayed response! I really understand what you mean by feeling the highest of highs and lowest of lows and presumably very little in between. I feel I grab into moments that are fun and don't want them to end and feel elated by my ability to just be for a moment in time. Then the next day all the burdens I owned would weigh down on me like the sun. Recently I decided I would take some 'personal' time off work, no matter the cost and ask for help. Help from all the people I care about. I was really scared. I thought for sure thegvwould distance themselves from me. But they pulled me in closer. I have yet to find an answer to my own moments of madness, but I know without a doubt, share your empathy and your feelings with someone. Is there any chance you and your daughter could try hanging out together? Like take out and bad b grade movies! It's seriously the best!

I remember when I was venturing into young adult territory and my folks took me out and really treated me like an adult for the first time. As the night came to a close mum pointed out that you know we are friends I'm not just your mum. My entire realisation that my parents were just a human like me made me really open up to them. I trusted and respected them a lot all of a sudden.

Our biggest hurdles in life will one day become our greatest strength.

Hope your doing ok!