Pregnant mother, and partner of a man with a mood disorder

[Courtamelia]

Hi all,

I'm currently 21 weeks pregnant with baby number 2 whilst running after my charming 2 year old son.

My partner and i met 3 years ago, whilst both struggling with mental health issues. Mine; just your average depression that got out of hand for a moment. His; a combination of bipolar disorder, depression, severe anxiety and, triggered by the above, a psychotic breakdown.

We met, and talked, and became best friends. We could talk about absolutely everything. We helped eachother get well again.

And the we fell pregnant with our son. It was the boost we both needed to kick our mental health issues in the butt once and for all... or so i thought.

Fast forward 3 years of love, tears, laughter and learning, and a few ĺittle, near mental health relapses on his part along the way and we are pregnant with our second child! Happiness all round right? Yeah, maybe for the first 3 months..

Now hes sick. Really sick. And i dont know what to do. I raise our son, cook, clean, run errands... all on my own. All while pregnant. All while he sits and gets worse. Hes back on medication, which helps sometimes. But im still spending every night in bed alone. Every day alone. And if i try to have a conversation with him, well, i just dont even try anymore because i know there is no point. He's only going to get mad and leave. I'm not coping with his mental illness. I cant keep doing this alone, and i dont know who to go to for help.

[Kathryne]

Hi and welcome to Beyond Blue forums.

Congratulations on your own coping mechanisms that have allowed you to cope with the stress your current situation is putting out there.

As you are aware meds don't always help.

Are you able to access child care to allow you some me time?

Beyond blue have someone at the end of the phone 24 / 7 on 1300224636 call and have a chat.

Do you have family who could assist with housework, childcare or just to unwind to

I understand the frustration you are experiencing with not being able to reach your partner could you ask for assistance at your antenatal clinic.

Hope this helps

Kathryne

[Courtamelia]

My son is in daycare 2 days a week, but the days hes there are when i book all my antenatal appointments and appointments for my partner. And if i have time between appointments ill do groceries or laundry or other chores that are easier without a small child around. My mum lives 4 hours away and my partners mother makes any excuse not to help. I dont have anyone else i can go to as i moved away from all my friends and family to be with my partner.

I honestly feel like just leaving. Im mad. Im lonely. Im frustrated. Im tired. Im sad. I feel unwanted and unloved and unappreciated but most of all i feel horribly guilty for feeling all of that. I know its no ones fault hes sad and no one can make it go away. This just seems like a really cruel time for mental illness to make a comeback. A time thats meant to be happy and excitingand instead im stressed and frightened. I dont want this baby to ever come out because i dont know how im going to cope caring for my partner and rasing 2 babies on my own.