Please help me, help him

[Thea4]

My husband and I have been together for 12 years (married for 4yrs). 7 months ago I became unwell myself with psychotic depression and OCD. My husband supported me throughout admissions and while I was off work. I’m now really well and back at work full-time however in the last week he has been very distant. He then expressed that he feels low, is not sleeping well, has been isolating himself and told me he wants to be alone. Last night he said that he no longer wants to be together as he feels things changed since I became unwell and has been feeling this way for the last few months. He stated he was unhappy, he feels lost and feels as though our relationship has changed. I’m absolutely heartbroken, shocked and empty. I don’t know what to do, as I’m concerned he is depressed and not dealing with things and doesn’t really mean what he has said. But then it is really hard living with someone you love who tells you they don’t want to be with you nor do they want to spend time with you. I just really want him to be his happy self but it’s hard when he’s pushing me away. It’s taking a toll on my own mental health and I feel as though I have nothing without him in my life.. just really struggling right now.

[white knight]

Hi Thea, welcome

A change of approach is crucial at the moment.

Fun- do things spontaneous to spark up the marriage- hot air ballooning?, hiking, picnics, fish and chips by the beach.

He most likely needs to be loved. Sometimes this need downloads to them being able to love us back. We also can get complacent by forgetting to say "I love you" and showing it meaningfully.

You depressive periods likely took a toll on him but that isn't your fault. And its why we seek a partner to love and support when times are tough.

TonyWK