Needing some strategies to help my teenager who is self harming

[SarahB03]

Hi,

I have recently found out that my daughter has been self-harming on and off for about a year. In the last couple of months, after a traumatic event and a lot of stress at school, it has escalated.

She is supported by a counsellor and we have a safety plan in place for her but my problem is she does not want to stop. And when I try to help her put in place alternate ways to help her manage her intense emotions, she agrees but ends up locking herself in the bathroom and self-harming anyway. I have told her now that I am not going to allow her to shower alone but I don't know if this is the right thing to do. I mean, how can I monitor her 24 hours a day? If I protect her from hurting herself in the shower, will she just find new and creative ways to do it? I really don't want to enforce rules on her because I want her to keep talking to me about it and not hiding it away from me but I am also responsible for her and her safety.

Has anyone else been through this? How did you cope? What strategies worked for you? I am also not getting much support from my husband and am feeling so alone and helpless.

[Sophie_M]

Hey SarahB03,

Welcome to the forums, we're so grateful that you decided to reach out to our community today. We know that it is not an easy thing to do, but it is so important that you have. We're really sorry to hear what your daughter is going through at the moment, but she sounds very lucky to have such a caring parent like yourself helping to support her. We can hear that this must be a really stressful time for yourself as well, especially if you don't feel supported from your partner during this time. Please know that you've come to a safe space, free of judgement to talk about these thoughts and feelings, and our wonderful community is here to offer as much support and advice as you need.

If you feel up to it, we'd also really recommend getting in touch with our Support Service which is available 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or you can visit on our website www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport for online chat. One of our friendly counsellors will be able to give you some information and advice to help you and your daughter. 

Another great option would be to reach out to our friends at Parentline, who have a lot of experience offering support to parents in your situation, and could be able to provide some really helpful advice and supports. They are available up to 24 hours a day, 7 days a week (depending on where in Australia you reside) and you can find out more about their contact details in each state or territory here: https://kidshelpline.com.au/parents/issues/how-parentline-can-help-you

We hope that you can find some comfort in the forums, and please feel free to keep us updated here on your thread whenever you feel up to it.